Another Kind of Wedding Page #2

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- You okay?

I just, I just love you

so much.

I love you, too.

You look beautiful, mom.

So much love, big brother!

So much love!

- Mwah!

- Wouldn't miss it.

This must be Misha,

nice to... hug you!

It's an honor.

Okay.

You feel like her brother.

This stoned little chap here,

is my date, Albert.

- Hi.

- And last but not least,

the man who will screw

any boarder,

no matter the country of origin,

your brother... Kurt!

Carrie:
Oh... (Clears throat)

(Reads) "Um, siblings,

they resemble us just enough

to make all their differences

confusing,

and no matter what we choose

to make of this,

we are cast in relation to them,

our whole lives long"

Susan Scarfe Merrell.

Who writes for

I don't care magazine.

- Carrie:
that's not funny.

- You look like sh*t.

You too.

You skinny piece of sh*t.

Mwah!

Okay, let's go inside.

Let's get you warm, ma.

Matthew:
So do you two have

separate rooms, or...?

Albert:
Separate beds.

Barbara:
Pretty much

the same thing.

- Is it?

- Hi.

- You look amazing! Hi.

- Hi.

(Low hum of chatter)

I'm so nervous.

Baby! Hi! How are you?

Good. Good.

- Love you. I miss you.

- Okay.

Needless to say,

um, I know this is...

- will you make sure mom's okay?

- I knew it was coming.

Waaa, it's my wedding.

(Door opens, keys jingle)

(Door shuts)

(Garment bag thuds)

(Heavy exhale)

(Groaning, moaning)

(Low hum of chatter)

(Slow Spanish song)

Dulces besos

llena de nostalgia

Dulces besos

Con mi nena preferida

Me da... una nostalgia

Esas caricias...

Barbara:
Move those stems,

Albert!

I'm moving them.

All right, no tragedies yet.

(Door rattles)

Sh*t.

- Oh, I-I mean, hi.

- Hello.

Well, I didn't expect you

here. I thought you were

taking pictures

in the Middle East.

There's shrapnel in my brain.

- My God, can they get it out?

- No, it's permanent.

- Oh my...

- Who's this man?

- This man is my date.

- Albert. It's a pleasure.

Well, it was nice to see you.

(Door rattles)

Did you get my emails?

A phone is better

for an old gal like me.

Have a drink with me

before dinner.

I need to get ready

for the rehearsal dinner.

Carrie made us late.

You know, eventually you're

gonna have to let that close.

One drink. You owe me that.

Fine, then I'll probably

have three.

(Door rattles closed)

Who was that guy?

Roy, he was Tamara's

assistant for years.

Kind of an uncle

to the children.

Intense fellow.

Yeah. F***in' weird.

(Thunder rolls,

rain patters heavily)

(Plays a slow ukulele tune)

(Guests chatter)

Woman:
It's amazing.

It's really amazing

because it's like right near

all the like,

nice places on Melrose,

you know,

so we get lots of lattes.

I love the chai lattes.

Shut up.

Don't they shut up?

It's so good, you know. I like

always with like, almond milk.

It's my new favorite thing.

It's so good.

Anyway how, how 'bout you,

Kurt? Are you still acting?

Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

I just wanted to know,

I-I haven't seen anything.

- Levi!

- Oh.

Wait, wait. Shouldn't we let

this happen organically?

Albert:
Okay.

(Low hum of chatter)

...but I appreciate it.

Thank you so much.

Kurt:
Mom, mom!

- Barbara:
Uh, yeah! Hi, honey.

- Good to see you.

This is my boyfriend, Misha.

Hey. Levi.

Nice to meet you, dude.

It's okay to speak now.

Uh... (Stuttering)

I-I-I wo... see...

Heh, so...

Let's go sit down.

We'll catch up with you later.

- Okay.

- Okay.

All right, right there,

next to this guy.

- Right here.

- I'll get a chair

I'll get you a chair. Come on.

Okay.

I seriously can't believe

this.

I'm trying not to freak out.

Well, it's not a crisis yet.

Let's just take a deep breath.

Okay so, unfortunately yes,

the chicken was cooked in the

same oven as the vegetables.

- Fantastic.

- I'm sorry.

Is it... is it really that big

of a deal?

No, it's not, at all.

It's just, I mean, we made

a point of requesting this

six months ago and both of you

said it would be fine.

- Yeah.

- You know, what this reminds me of

is an Edna St. Vincent Millay

poem.

(Clears throat)

She says, "Your tea is cold"-

- Right now? You're gonna

recite the poem?

What-what are you writing?

Yeah, no I'm just making

a note of what not to do

- at our wedding.

- We have a list.

- Yes.

Both:
We agree on everything.

Right. Hey, when is that

wedding again?

- This spring.

- Next fall.

Okay, we gotta, we'll see you

guys in a second.

I'm sorry again.

- Did... what did you say?

- I said sp...

- Next fall.

- Fall, yeah.

- Fall.

- Okay, that's weird.

(Low hum of chatter)

(Glass clinking)

- We

- would

- like - to - extend

- a

- warm

- welcome

- to

- all - of - you.

(Chuckling)

- (Guests applaud)

- Thank you.

(Applause)

(Electronic music plays)

(Exhales)

(Glass clinking)

As one of the mothers

of the groom,

I would like to take this

moment to welcome everyone.

Oh, my goodness,

these cue cards say that

we're at a wedding for a

hotshot corporate lawyer

- from Bay Street...

- Wrong!

Wrong! Yeah, darn.

That's not how I remember it.

(Chuckles)

What I do remember

is Matty coming home

and saying that he's going

to move to Berlin,

and pursue a career in EDM.

And hearing that, I said...

we said,

"what the hell is EDM?"

- Barbara:
I knew what it was.

- Of course you did.

Then he made himself

a successful career

because Matty is not afraid

of failure.

He throws himself into things,

and that's exactly what

he's doing with this woman,

he's jumping in. Mazel tov!

- Mazel tov!

Guest:
Cheers! Mazel tov!

(Levi plays the ukulele)

("Daydreaming" by "Groenland)

With eyes open,

I was havin' a dream

And as real as it seemed

It wasn't right

And I saw you,

or was it somebody else

I remember your face

And your Converse shoes

Then I hope you know

what it means to me

When I'm on my own and

I'd wish I'd be right here

Right here, right here

Ooh ooh ooh

And when I get my stuff

and I'm ready to go

That's when things get rough

and I lose control

I can't let go, let go,

Let go-o-o

- Hmm

- Oh oh oh

(Applause)

(Electronic dance music)

You didn't meet me

at the bar?

Oh sh*t. I um, I forgot,

I'm sorry.

I made it clear that I needed

to speak with you.

Can't it wait? I'm in the

middle of my son's wedding...

I've been waiting long enough!

You're free now!

Don't you understand that?

That evil woman cannot

control you anymore!

- Excuse me!

- Please.

(Music stops, door shuts)

I'm sorry, Matthew.

I didn't mean to disturb

your meal.

The chicken looks delicious.

Uh, that concludes the dinner

theatre portion of our evening.

- Thank you.

- It does. Thank you! Thank you.

Oh, f*** this!

Well look, why don't we

just go into our room,

have a drink, relax and then

make a sort of game plan

for what might possibly be

a sorta stressful weekend?

Possibly?!

Oh great. Here she comes!

Care to explain what

the f*** that was about?

(Chuckles) Hi.

Nice to see you, too.

Gee, it's been a while.

How are you?

I'm fantastic.

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