Another Stakeout Page #5

I'm sick of making it work. Larry's

a son-of-a-b*tch. And I hate him.

Will Larry and Kate stay together

or will they get divorced?

Shh, shh, shh!

Please! Larry's a pig!

Oh, and Kate's

an angel, right?

Kate is a woman; Larry is a man.

Need I say more? I rest my case.

This is really fabulous. I mean this

whole thing of being able to hear.

I feel a teeny bit guilty,

but I'm really enjoying it.

Don't go native on me...

- Aaah!

- Get down.

What? What?

Get down.

Chris!

What happened?

Somebody's out there.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

I hate this part. Chris! Bill!

- What do you see?

- I don't know!

I'm gonna circle

around back.

Cover me.

I'm taking a bath.

Hello? Hello!

Hi! I just rented the house next

door. My name is Chris Lecce.

Yeah, I saw you yesterday.

I'm Barbara Burnside.

Did you lose a baseball?

What did it break?

- A window.

- Kitchen window?

Ronnie!

Ronnie!

He always hides when he thinks he's

in for it. This is his responsibility.

It's really no big deal.

Do you mind

coming with me, please?

- Phone! Somebody get the...

Somebody get the phone!

Spread a little lovin'

and we'll keep movin'on

Somethin' always happens

whenever we're together

We get a happy feelin'

when we're singing a song

Travellin' around there's

a song that we're singin'

Uh-uh

Come on, get happy

- Danny got Reuben

to sell our songs

- Somebody get the phone!

I'm sleeping!

- Yeah?

- Could I speak to Det. Lecce, please?

- Maria?

- Bill?

Yeah.

Where are you?

- I'm at my mother's.

- Chris told me what happened.

- Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

My partner

misses you.

Is he there?

Yeah, um... Look, no matter

how much of a jerk he can be,

and believe me,

he can be a jerk, I know,

he absolutely, totally

adores you and loves you.

Listen, you don't have to tell me,

but, um... is there another guy?

Did he tell you

that was the reason?

Oh, no, no!

I just thought, maybe...

You know, I start talking

and... Forget it.

- I'll, I'll get him, okay? I'll be right back.

- Thanks.

Chris!

I don't believe this.

There's a song

that we're singin'

Come on, get happy

Hi, um...

I can't find him.

Where is he?

- I-I'll have him call you.

- Where did he go?

The funniest thing happened. This, uh,

baseball went through this window...

- and he had to take it next door because he thought...

- Bill. Bill.

No, don't bother,

okay?

Right.

Bye.

I just wanna

get some sleep!

Phone!

Telephone!

- Hi, you've reached

the O'Hara residence.

- We can't come to the phone, so please leave a message.

- They're not home.

- Thank you.

- Oh, my God, they're not home.

- Where the hell are they?

- I don't know where they are! Where the hell were you?

- Where the hell were you? - I-I was

returning the baseball, that's where.

- Well, I was taking a bath. Excuse me!

- Aw, geez!

What the hell is goin' on? I was tryin'

to sleep! Can't you keep from yelling...

Here, take the equipment.

We're puttin' in a bug.

- We're puttin' in a bug.

- Putting in a bug.

Fine.

Chris!

Chris. They're coming.

Bill.

Bill!

Come on,

come on.

The bag!

They're coming.

Hi, there.

- Hi!

- Oh, look, it's, uh...

- Gina.

- Gina!

- What are you doing here?

- I just stopped by...

here...

at your house...

today to...

invite you to dinner.

I was in the shower,

in fact, and I thought to myself...

those people next door are lovely,

why not some dinner?

- Can I take that for you?

- No, no.

Please?

lt'd be my pleasure.

Yes!

Yes, isn't it great? And I was

thinking, perhaps, dinner sometime soon?

- Like, when?

- Like, uh...

I was thinking that...

Like, tonight.

- Yes.

- Yes?

Yes. Thank God. All right, then.

What's happenin', Tom?

- Do I know you?

- Not important.

- What do you want?

- I want you to get back in the car.

- What?

- We need to talk.

- Get lost.

- Whoa, wait a second. Hold it.

You're making my life

very difficult.

I need to know where she is

and you need to tell me.

You stupid

son-of-a-b*tch.

What the hell are you doin' here?

Are you crazy?

We can still

get in the car.

I don't know

where the hell she is.

When I find out,

I'll call.

Good.

Thank you.

Keep the hell

away from me.

Tommy!

Just remember,

I do know where you are.

- Okay?

- Okay, uh...

I have a home security business.

I started it ten years ago.

We broke up after two years of

living together. Her name was Louise.

I have one son, Bill, by my

first marriage. She's dead.

She wanted to get married;

I didn't. We should trade.

You shouldn't

have any problem remembering this.

- Ha-ha-ha. Did you know that you

were illegitimate? - Thank God.

Now, my first wife's name

was, uh...

- Cheryl.

- Ah! Don't help me! Cheryl, it was Cheryl.

Sometimes I really

miss Mom, don't you?

Just don't take any longer

in there than you have to.

- Put the bug in and get the hell out.

- Home before midnight, Pop.

Forty-five minutes,

that's all you're gonna get.

Then I'm gonna puke on the table;

they're gonna come home.

- Forty-five minutes, check your watch.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Don't you even think of touching my hors d'oeuvres.

- Hey, stop that!

- Let me tell you something, Miss Assistant District Attorney.

- Do not use that tone with me.

If this assignment gets blown,

I want to go on record right now...

that this is the most stupid,

dim-witted, idiotic,

moronic piece of putrefied garbage that I

have ever, in my entire professional career,

ever had the displeasure

of being involved with.

- Really? And?

- Really.

Re... And I don't like the panties

hanging on the rod!

Excuse me, Detective,

but the dryer was not working.

You pathetic

Steven Seagal wanna-be.

Walkin'around all dressed in black.

You think it's funny? You're even

worse than he is, do ya know that?

You're just a flunky;

you're a sidekick.

That's what you are.

He's Fred, you're Barney.

He's Johnny Carson,

you're Ed McMahon!

- That's it!

Nobody calls me Ed McMahon!

Here is my gun,

here is my badge...

- and here is me quitting!

- Me too.

- You can't quit. Oh, yeah, right.

- Watch us.

- What are you gonna do, leave me here alone?

- Yes!

All right, I'm sorry!

I am sorry.

- Really?

- I'm sorry about this whole thing.

I'm sorry that you feel this assignment is

beneath you. I am sorry I brought my dog.

I am sorry that I was taking a bath when I

should have been watching the O'Hara's house.

But most of all...

I am sorry we are not getting along!

So if you wanna leave,

just leave!

This is not working.

You just go

and I'll cover for you.

I'll say, maybe, that one of your alarms

went off and you had to go, okay? Just go.

You think that we're gonna be

guilty and we're gonna stay.

I have a job

that I have to do...

and you guys can just decide

what's right for you to do, okay?

Oh, look at her.

She's doing the shoulder thing.

- We're bein' had, right? We're outta here!

- Absolutely.

Gina...

They're here!

I knew you guys would stay.

Bill, I want you to go in there

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