Another Stakeout Page #6

and put in the bug. You know why?

You're the best bugger I ever met. Chris,

we have been married for five years.

I love you;

you love me.

- This is gonna be fabulous!

- Wait, wait, wait.

- Be right there! Gotta freshen up.

- Where are you going?

- Forty-five minutes.

- Just a... Just a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait, wait. Where are you...

Jesus Christ, I can't believe

I got myself hooked into this one.

- Goddamn it. Hi!

- Hi!

- Here. Welcome.

- Oh, thank you, thank you.

That's very nice. Thanks a lot.

Hi, glad to see you.

- Hi, good to see you.

- Thanks for having us.

Come on in. What would you, uh...

What would you like to drink?

- Cheryl will be down in just one second.

- Uh, Cheryl?

Cheryl. Cheryl, my, my, um...

Sorry. Cheryl is the name

of my first dead wife...

- Ah.

- Sometimes, I call Gina Cheryl.

Please, don't tell her

I said that because it's, uh...

No, not a word.

Please.

What can I get you to drink?

- Oh, uh, scotch and water for me, thanks.

- Okeydoke.

- I'll take a vodka if you've got it. Straight up?

- You got it.

- Honey? Pam and Brian are here.

- I'll be right there.

- Would you like something to drink, dear?

- I'll have the usual, honey.

The usual.

His first dead wife?

I told you I didn't wanna be here to begin

with. I hope we brought 'em cheap wine.

Dude.

Scotch and water.

And vodka straight up.

And, uh...

The usual, the usual.

Oh, Jesus.

Ah!

Gin and tonic.

Okay. Gin...

and tonic.

- Hello, how are you? Lovely of you to...

- Hi, how are you? Fine.

- Do you like chili?

- Chili?

- Yes?

- I love chili. Oh, yeah, I love it.

- All right. Here we have scotch for Brian...

- Oh, thank you.

- and a vodka straight for Pam,

- Thanks.

and a gin for Gina.

- Thank you, sweetheart.

- Aren't you drinking, Chris?

No, no, not anymore.

Too many funny hats.

Oh, honey, honey.

- Oh, honey. I'm...

Did I make that too strong?

- No, it's fine, thank you.

- Oh, oh, I'm really...

Honey.

- Should I try again?

- Thank you. No, no, no, sweetheart.

- Okay. Okay.

- It's fine, really.

So tell me, uh...

- Where's your son, uh... Bill.

- Bill.

- Bill! Actually, he went out for a little while.

- Bill, yes.

Yeah, he should be back

in about, um, 37 minutes.

How long have you two

lived here?

- Five years.

- Yeah, about five years.

Cute, yes.

Actually, we just spend the summer

and the weekends here.

- Oh, the summers here are incredible!

- You'll love it.

You, uh, keep a place

in the city?

- Um-hmm. Lake Washington. -

Um-hmm. We love being near the water.

- We spent ten years in Las Vegas.

- Oh!

- Vegas! Really? Honey, they're from Vegas.

- Yeah.

- Uh, would you like another drink?

- Yes.

- Pam?

- I would love one. A drink would be great.

- Honey?

- No, no. Thank you.

Bill?

Bill?

Bill?

God!

You know, sometimes

it is so peaceful here that...

we... never...

Honey?

Drinks! Ha!

- Well, this certainly looks delicious.

- Thank you so much.

- Wonderful.

- Brian was telling us before that they're originally from Chicago.

- Oh, Chicago.

- Chicago.

- Oh, Chicago! We love Chicago.

- Oh, really?

Well, you can have it.

Gina, this all looks

absolutely delicious.

- Would you excuse me, please?

- Yes, honey.

- Sure.

- Sure.

The chili's fabulous.

Oh, I bet it is. It looks...

- How long have you and Chris been married?

- Five years.

- But you know Chris was married before.

- Oh, I know.

He must have started young.

Bill's, what, about late 20s?

- Thirty-two. Um-hmm.

- Thirty-two?

- How old's Chris?

- Forty-five.

Did I say 45?

- I meant 55. Chris is fifty...

- Oh!

- He's the speed limit. That's

exactly what he is. - Fifty-five!

- The big five-five.

- Yes! No kidding.

- That is amazing. I can't believe he's 55.

- Really?

- He doesn't look 55, does he?

- No, I thought he was much younger.

- Actually, it came a surprise to me, too, at first.

- I'll bet it did.

Yes, it did.

Brian, how's the chili?

- Yes, it... I'm...

- Yes?

- You must save room for meat loaf.

- Oh.

- It's armadillo.

- Yes.

- Pam? These are corn flakes.

- Yeah?

- Oh. Get outta here.

- Yes. They're corn flakes.

Not much

of an armadillo eater, but I'll try it.

No, no, Brian, it's meat loaf.

It's just shaped that way.

Bill.

Bill.

Bill?

Bill.

Oh! Oh!

Sh*t!

You know, Brian and I...

- have been married almost ten years.

- No!

- I can hardly believe it.

- That is just so wonderful.

- Thank you.

- You know, marriage isn't always easy.

Come on. Ours hasn't been

that bad, has it?

- Oh, honey, I wasn't talking about ours.

- Okay. All right.

- We have a couple of friends who are splitting up.

- Oh.

For the umpteenth time. I don't know

why they just don't get it over with.

I'm sure if it was that easy

they would.

- It's never that easy when kids are involved.

- Excuse me,

but it's my opinion that it's harder on the

kids when people like that stay together.

- But you have to try, honey.

- Well, of course, dear, you have to try.

They should try.

But if it's not working,

nothing they do is gonna

make it right, now is it?

Beside, Kate is a real b*tch. I wouldn't

be married to her for ten seconds.

- Kate is not that bad.

- Kate is a friend of yours, and I'd rather not get into it.

Far be it for me to interrupt, however,

it's never just one person's fault, is it?

I'm sure Larry bears just

as much responsibility as Kate.

Well, excuse me, but I've known Larry

longer than the both of you.

You know

Kate and Larry?

Well, um... I don't

know them, actually, no.

You've met them?

Not exactly.

- How do you not exactly meet somebody?

- Hmm?

Oh, honey!

Ha-ha.

Oh, uh...

The bathroom faucet got all, uh...

You know, spritz me and I had

to change. So what did I miss?

Do you know

Kate and Larry Sawyer?

Kate and Larry Sawyer.

Uh, Kate and Larry Sawyer,

Kate and Larry Sawyer. Um.

Golly, honey, do I know

Kate and Larry Sawyer?

No, sweetheart, you do not

but I do in my own special way...

and, honey,

I've decided to tell them.

Oh, no. I don't think that

would be a good idea, dear.

- Yes, sweetheart, yes.

- No, no, no.

- No. No. No. No.

- Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Pam, Brian...

I have the ability

to see things.

I hate to say this.

Some people even say that I'm psychic.

It's strange. Ideas, images,

thoughts, names just pop in my head.

Just before I was thinking

Larry, Kate Sawyer.

I don't know how; I don't know

where. It's frightening, isn't it?

I can't even watch Jeopardy.

I know all the answers. It's crazy!

It scares Chris, actually.

It really does.

He doesn't like me to talk about it.

Do you, honey?

No, knock yourself out.

- Telephone!

- Telephone!

You know, I've never met anyone

who could actually do it.

- Oh, I don't do it,

it just sorta happens.

Well, I've gotta do it.

Go to the bathroom. Excuse me.

- Hello?

- Chris?

- Maria?

- You called.

Yeah.

Hold on one second.

- Are you okay?

- Fine. You?

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