Another Year Page #8

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You can't drive a car without insurance.

It's illegal.

I know. At least you'll be able

to claim for your window.

I know.

Anyway, I'm... I'm sick of it. I just left it.

It's just a car. What does it matter?

GERRI:

Go on. Sit yourself down, Mary.

- Put the kettle on, Tom.

- Yeah, yeah. Good idea.

It's given me a lot of stress, Tom.

This car's been a catalogue of disaster, hasn't

it?

I know.

Cut your losses, Mary. Get rid of it.

But I've spent so much on it, Tom.

I can't just sell it now.

But if you keep it,

it's only going to get worse.

- Well, you know what I think, Mary.

- Yeah, yeah.

I'm fed up with it, to be honest, Tom.

I've had three punctures.

- Three punctures?

- Yeah.

My exhaust has fallen off. I had to get

a new one. My carburettor went.

You can't take it back

to the guys you got it from?

No. They'd guarantee the labour for three

months, but not the parts. Bastards.

Other way round, isn't it?

Parts for three months, not labour.

No.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh, I don't know. Anyway...

my windscreen wiper got ripped off.

I got three points for speeding, at 60 each.

So, I've got nine points on my driving licence.

- Haven't I, Gerri?

- Yes.

It keeps making funny noises.

I got towed away and I wasn't even

parked on a double-yellow line.

I've got seven parking tickets...

no, nine parking tickets.

And then...

I broke down on the motorway

on the way to Brighton

and I got towed to Crawley,

which is the last place I want to go,

because I grew up there and I hate it.

So, I had to get the train home and then

the train back to Crawley the next day

and the guy kept trying to touch me up.

It cost me nearly 500 and I never even

got my weekend in Brighton.

That was supposed to be my summer holiday.

Yes.

- It's not fair, is it?

- No.

- Well, never mind.

- Come and sit down, Mary. Relax.

- Yeah, thanks, Joe.

- At least you're here now, eh?

- What did you say your name was?

- Katie.

MARY:

Oh.

Well, the good news is, Mary,

I've made a cake in your honour.

Oh, thanks, Gerri.

TOM:
She knew you were coming,

so she baked a cake!

- Don't forget to give me the recipe.

- No, I won't forget, Katie.

- You haven't tasted it yet.

- Oh, it smells nice.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind having the recipe

for that. I've never baked a cake before.

- Of course you can.

- You can have a cake-off!

Oh, I don't think so.

I tried making a fruit cake once.

Everything sank to the bottom.

It was horrible.

You're a good cook.

Thank you.

- What about these two, then, Mary?

- Such a surprise.

This monster hid this young lady

behind the sitting-room door.

- Made me jump.

- I nearly gave poor Tom a heart attack.

She passed the test.

Surprised you passed the test.

I'd have got rid of you on the spot.

A terrible way to treat someone.

KATIE:
Yeah.

- We had absolutely no idea.

- My big secret.

- Oh, thanks very much.

It's obviously serious.

Still, it's been really good to meet you both,

though, and we had a lovely lunch.

You didn't say you were having lunch.

- We have lunch every day.

- I know you have lunch every day, Joe.

Bread and cheese.

- Nothing special.

- I thought it was special.

We had some tomatoes from Tom

and Gerri's allotment. Have you tasted them?

Loads of times. Gerri's always giving me

stuff, aren't you, Gerri?

- I'll give you some to take home, Mary.

- Oh, great.

Oh, yeah, I can take them on the tube.

So, what is it you do, then, Jackie?

KATIE:

Katie.

- Katie.

- Don't worry. An occupational therapist.

Oh.

GERRI:
She looks after stroke victims

and the elderly.

And... I grew up just down the road

from you, in Croydon.

- I only went to college in Croydon.

- Oh, right. Which college?

Croydon College.

The aptly named.

So which course did you do? Secretarial?

What makes you think I'm a secretary?

Well, you are, aren't you?

- Gerri said...

- Yes.

Well...

I got my diploma. I look after the doctors.

Oh, brilliant.

So have you two worked together

for a long time?

Ooh, about 20 years, haven't we, Mary?

Yeah.

- Mary's known Joe since he was ten.

- No way!

I bet you've got some embarrassing stories.

I've got some really nice stories, actually.

Joe and I have shared some really

special moments, haven't we?

- Yes, Mary.

- It'll just have to be our secret, won't it?

She's almost like an auntie to him.

I wouldn't say that.

Well, we think of you as his auntie.

Auntie Mary.

I think that's really sweet.

- Right. Who wants some cake?

- Yes, please.

Auntie Mary.

Thanks, Joe.

Thanks, Mum.

It must be really boring looking after old people.

No, I love it.

You get to know them really well

and, well...

...we're all going to be old, one day,

aren't we?

Touch wood.

TOM:
Some of us already are.

- (Katie giggles)

We look after old people, don't we, Gerri?

No, not in the same way.

Amazing cake.

Thank you, Katie.

TOM:

Right.

We'll see you when we see you.

- Soon. Hopefully.

- And you'll never know when.

- Probably find you hiding in the shed.

- Or lurking in the bathroom.

- Or down the toilet.

- Oh, nice!

- You must come to supper.

- Yes, please.

I hear you're both excellent cooks. No pressure.

- Tom makes a mean curry.

- Oh, I love curry.

- Well, there's been no litigation to date.

- I'll take my chances, then.

- I'll speak to you later.

- Bye.

- See you, boy.

- Bye-bye. Take care.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you for the flowers.

- A pleasure. Lovely to meet you.

- You, too.

Bye, Mary. Really nice to meet you.

Hope you get your car sorted out.

- Bye, Katie.

- Bye.

TOM:
Bye.

KATIE:
See you soon.

TOM:
Yeah. Safe journey. Bye.

- Bye.

(front door closes)

How about that, then?

- That's a turn-up for the books.

- You're not kidding.

- Excuse me, I've got a bit of work to do.

- All right.

I was going to bring you some flowers, Gerri.

I just couldn't find anywhere open.

Don't be silly.

Gerri?

What?

- What do you think of her?

- She's lovely, isn't she?

Well, I don't know.

Joe likes her.

Yeah, but, you know.

They seem to connect.

Well, he's only young, isn't he?

He's 30 years old, Mary.

No, but what I mean is,

he doesn't want to rush into anything.

He's only known her for five minutes.

I think Joe knows what he's doing, actually.

Well, I hope so.

Don't forget your tomatoes, Mary.

No, I won't.

I should have brought a bottle of wine.

- I might head off in a minute.

- All right, then, Mary.

- Thank you for coming, Mary.

- Thanks, Gerri.

- I'll see you on Tuesday.

- Yes.

Yeah.

- Bye, then.

- OK, bye.

Very sad.

Really upsetting.

Yeah.

- Are you surprised?

- Of course I am.

No, I'm not, actually.

No.

It's disappointing.

So, when are you inviting her round next?

Did you see this?

It's extraordinary.

- I like whatshername.

- Katie?

- Yeah, she's a laugh, isn't she?

- She's lovely.

He is a dark horse, our son.

I think you'll find that we men are.

Can you take that for me?

(clink of bottles)

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