Antz Page #5

Bala watches Z, trying to follow along. It's the blind

leading the blind, as Z tries in vain to follow the barker's

rapid instructions.

Z:

Here, I'll lead.

Z starts doing his own, individual dance. With a suave

expression on his face, he leads Bala in a helter-skelter

mixture-of Tango, Charleston, and hand-jive.

BALA:

Are you sure this is a real dance?

Z:

Well, actually, uh -- I'm sort of

making it up --

BALA:

(surprised)

Really?

Z:

Why should everyone dance the same

way? It's as exciting as watching

fungus grow.

BALA:

You're right!

Z:

(surprised)

You -- you think I'm right?

BALA:

Why can't I just do whatever I want

to do? Why can't I just go wild?!

Yahoo!

Bala starts to get into it, making up her own steps in reply

to Z's, loosening up, having fun. For a moment, the two of

them are actually sexy together. Then they get a little too

wild -- and the other ants, who are still doing their

intricate dance, start to collide with Bala and Z. Z almost

knocks over a big soldier ant. We can only see the ant's

back at the moment.

SOLDIER:

Hey! Watch your step, worker.

Z has turned around to see the soldier ant, MAJOR MANDIBLE,

glaring at him. Mandible is about twice Z's size. He's got

one eye missing, and half of his left antenna his been chewed

off.

BALA:

You watch yours, soldier, or my

worker friend will beat you up!

Z:

(terrified)

Oh, that's okay, I'll let him off

this time.

(whispering to Bala)

Are you crazy? This guy's built like

a pebble!

(ineptly trying to

placate the soldier)

You know they do great prosthetic

antennas nowadays --

BALA:

Aren't you gonna stand up for

yourself?

Z's caught between a rock and a hard place. He doesn't want

to get beaten up, but on the other hand, he doesn't want to

lose face in front of Bala. More soldiers have gathered

around, looking hostile.

SOLDIER:

How come you don't dance like the

rest of us?

Z glances over at Bala. Then, shaking with nervousness, he

says defiantly...

Z:

Because -- because I'm an individual!

SOLDIER #2

An individual? Never heard of it.

MANDIBLE:

You look like a worker to me.

WEAVER:

Hey, lay off my little buddy!

Z, meanwhile, looks far away, ecstatic, as if he's just

realized something very important. Unfortunately, just at

this moment, A soldier pushes Weaver...Weaver pushes him

back...somebody makes a dive for Z -- and before you know it,

there's a regular bar brawl going on, with Weaver in the

middle of it, cracking heads together, punching ants in the

face, having a great time. Just then, the Princess'

handmaidens hurries over.

HANDMAIDEN #1

Princess Bala! Princess Bala!

Z, who's scrabbling around on the floor, overhears.

Z:

Princess? You're a Princess?

HANDMAIDEN #2

The police are coming!

BALA:

Uh oh.

(to Z)

Goodbye! Gotta run!

Z:

Wait! When can I see you again?

BALA:

Let me think. Hmmnn...

(thinks)

Never. Bye!

Bala rushes off with her handmaiden, just before a squad of

whistle-blowing POLICE wade into the crowd.

Z:

Wait! Princess! Wait!

But she's already gone, leaving Z holding her scarf.

CUT TO:

INT. DORMITORY - THE NEXT DAY

Z is talking to Weaver, who's getting ready to go off to war.

Nearby, columns of ant soldiers march by.

WEAVER:

Get real, Z! She just dropped the

scarf by accident!

Z:

Are you kidding? There were sparks

between us! This scarf is a sign!

WEAVER:

It's a sign that you're crazy! Do

you know what the penalty for

impersonating a soldier is?

Z:

What's gonna go wrong?! I take your

place for the royal inspection. Bala

comes strolling down the line, she

sees me -- bingo! Love is rekindled,

and she takes me up to the palace for

a little...

(wags his eyebrows

suggestively)

tea and crumpets... and you take your

place again, and go march around to

your heart's content!

Weaver looks unconvinced.

Z:

You have to help me. Please, Weaver.

Think of all the things I've done for

you!

WEAVER:

(thinks)

I can't think of any.

Z:

(pause)

Well I'm gonna start doing things for

you...

WEAVER:

Will you introduce me to some worker

girls?

Z:

You bet! They'll really go for a

sensitive guy like you!

WEAVER:

Maybe I'll get lucky.

(Weaver thinks about

it)

You know, Z, I wouldn't do this

for anyone but you...

Weaver hands Z has helmet.

WEAVER:

Wear this.

Z:

(overjoyed)

You're a real buddy.

WEAVER:

(sourly)

Yeah, I know.

Z:

What do I do?

WEAVER:

Don't tell anyone you're a worker.

Follow that column over there. And

come right back after the inspection!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes