Anuvahood Page #10

(Voices echoing)

Where you going, blud?

F*** off!

I knock any one, any of you!

You hear me?

I'm like the f***ing council out here!

Yeah, I'll tax you, blud!

What? You can't say sh*t to me!

I told ya, I'm Tyrone!

On the f***ing throne! Me!

- F*** you.

- Aargh!

F*** him up!

Go on, K! F*** him up!

F*** you!

Bust him open!

Getting the job done!

(Crowd groans)

All right, all right.

Look at your face, fam.

Come on, we go home.

No more games, blud.

Playtime's over.

Please.

Oi!

What the f*** is this? What the f***

do you think you're doing?

- What are you doing here, man?

- F*** you doing with my gun?

What the f*** are you doing? Hey?

I can explain.

I can explain. I can explain.

What happen was, it was...

It was K. It was him. It was K.

- Who the f***'s K?

- This here over here is him. Him.

It weren't.

- You like pointing guns at little boys?

- No.

Eh, Tyrone? Makes you feel

like a big man, does it?

Nah, man's not a big man.

No, no, no, don't do that.

How about I point this gun at you?

How about I put this f***ing gun

at your f***ing little bludclot? Eh?

Please. No, please. I beg you.

I beg you. Please don't do this.

Get up, you little bludclot! Get up!

Come on, man. Come on, man.

I had babymama stress. I had

a lot of stress with my babymama.

- F***ing up on my patch!

- Man, I wasn't thinking straight.

I'm f***ing tired of your sh*t.

I'm tired of your f***ing sh*t.

You always f*** it up! Hey?

- What the f***?

- (Laughter)

You f***ing little bludclot.

What the f*** is that?

You dirty little f***er.

Next time, you don't play with guns.

Especially not mine! All right?

No.

This little prick

won't be bothering you again.

But if he does try and trouble you

or any of your friends,

you come and see me or Tommy.

- Yes?

- Yeah.

And that goes for everyone!

Any trouble around here,

you let me know about it! All right?

Things are gonna quieten down

around here!

You little bludclot, you!

(Spits) Come on, Tommy, let's go.

(Groaning)

(Tyrone) You, man.

You, man. Ah, man!

We gotta get some chicken

and chips, man. I'm hungry.

Goons for life, yeah?

I found him eating out her p*ssy.

He don't do that for me.

He don't go down on me.

Disrespect your sis, man, bruv!

He's trying to disrespect me!

Which means he's disrespecting you!

I'm gonna brock him up!

Tyrone is a f***ing dead man running!

You're a wasteman, blud!

You can't do nothing!

That's how we roll!

That's how we roll, blud!

I'm gonna bang him

like a f***ing p*ssy! Watch!

Oi! I warned you not to f***

with my family! You f***ing prick!

- I'm gonna f*** you up, you prick!

- Oh, no, please!

Keep f***ing running! I'll f***ing

teach you, you motherf***er!

(Screaming)

Bastard. Yeah, you keep running, blud!

Wait till I get my hands on you, prick!

Come here. Come here.

- (Father) Is that you, Kenneth?

- Yeah.

(TV in background)

(Coughs)

One, two, three, four

Get with the wicked

Can I get a... Woo woo

Chicks get with it, can I get a...

Fellas, you know,

RB runs the show...

Well, well, well.

How we finding our first day back,

Kenneth?

I'm not one to rub salt in the wounds,

and judging by your face, you did not

put your hands up, you took the licks.

But I take it your "big tings"

didn't really go according to plan,

and now we find ourselves here again.

You on the phone,

pleading for your job back.

"Please! Please, please

can I have my job back?"

"Who is this?" "Please

can I have my job back, Russell?"

- I appreciate it.

- I hope so.

I hope you appreciate it,

because it wasn't easy by any means.

Not many managers

would be so flexible.

- I know, man. I appreciate it.

- Oh, I hope so!

You're lucky that I am store manager

and not Colin from Wood Green,

because he wouldn't put up

with this type of thing.

- I really do appreciate it.

- Mm, good! Good, good, good.

Turn the music up!

You know,

we're really proud of you, darling.

Ah, thanks, Mum.

Buy one, get one free.

- What's going on, blud?

- Yeah, it was all right, man.

I can't believe

you come back here, man.

- This is anything, G.

- Done the right thing.

This don't make sense.

For the first time in our lives, we've

actually got some power in the road.

Instead of taking advantage of this sh*t,

my man's here stacking shelves.

Idiot ting man.

- Why you always gassing for?

- Ain't a gas ting.

Ain't idiot. Real talk.

K, I say you do the right thing.

Talk to Mike and get a nigga

paid out here, dawg.

I need to make some P.

Down wit da boys!

Ain't you learnt nothing, blud?

I ain't even on this hype no more.

- What about the music ting, blud?

- That's not me, man.

- And Laimsbury's is, yeah?

- For now, yeah.

You gotta know who you are, blud.

There comes a time when man's

gotta wake up and smell the coffee.

This road ting ain't

getting man nowhere.

I'm on a different ting now, blud.

I'm choosing life.

See, it's about enlightenment.

Enlighten-what? My man

thinks he's Gandhi now, blud.

- Who's Gandhi, blud?

- Aye, my days!

You are such an idiot.

He is such an idiot. I swear it down.

Listen, man.

I ain't trying to preach, yeah?

I'm just saying life is about choices.

And you gotta make the right ones.

Nah, you ain't gonna see K

on a hype no more, man.

I'm telling you, blud,

it's a new day, a new start.

I'm gonna flip it. See me?

- I've seriously changed, man.

- Whatever, blud.

I'm serious, man.

I'm a changed man out here, blud.

D*ckhead! I like Fruitellas!

I take what I want! F*** off, prick!

You wake up and suddenly...

What? What you looking at?

You're in love

Ooh

Ooh

Check out my new whip

Check out my glasses

If anybody axses, I'm providing 'em

Got a black mugarias

and I got a small army

Which move mountains like Mugabe

- That's why we blow

- Hard, hard, hard, hard

- Hard, hard, hard, hard

- Come on

Come on, everybody, go hard...

I don't f***ing believe it.

- They went and paid.

- Who?

Them O'Sullivan bastards, they went

and paid. They never f***ing pay.

Never saw that one coming, Tel.

Oh, well, onwards and upwards, Darren.

Who's next on the list?

- A Miss Mandanga Foofoo, flat 42.

- So, what are we waiting for, Dal?

Let's go and see

Miss Mandanga Foofoo!

Hard, hard, hard, hard, hard...

I'm going

Yo, I'm doing it, I'm doing it

I keep doing it

Your daughter's glued to it

Can't play all this, I play fluid

You can't stop ads

Who are you in it?

See the game, I flew in it

Now I'm here

I'm gonna say get used to it

I see a girl that I like, I move to it

Funky house and groove to it...

(Sucks cheeks) You.

I don't care. I want my money

by the end of tomorrow, nigga.

No, you. You better get it for me.

If not, me gonna carve

a bludclot 'C'

from the corner of your eye

to the corner of your mouth.

You just get me my money.

(Sucks cheeks)

Why do you talk like that, Uncle?

(Posh accent) It's about authority,

Omar. I mean respect, OK?

I can't just phone up and be like,

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