Anuvahood Page #9

- I never text you!

- This your idea of a joke?

Listen, listen, babes!

Man can explain, innit?

- Yeah, yeah! Explain this, yeah?

- Aaargh!

That's why your gang didn't

want me to come up, yeah?

Man's tried to play me, innit? Man tried

to take me for some kinda idiot, yeah?

Listen, listen, listen!

Listen, babes! Listen, OK?

What you think you're seeing right now,

you're not really seeing.

No, no! It's an illusion!

- Bludclot, illusion!

- No, no! No, no!

I didn't know he had a girl!

Yeah, right, Butters!

Where you going, though?

You b*tch, you!

You better know yourself. Sket!

What? You want to play me?

Again? I'm telling you, you are f***ed!

Why you getting so vexed for, though?

Vexed? I ain't vexed.

You wanna see vexed?

You really want to see vexed, yeah?

That's my lolly, though!

You bought that for me!

- Shut up, d*ckhead man!

- Don't take my lolly!

- What? For eating out her p*ssy?

- No, I wasn't eating her!

Man was having a little lick,

you get me?

Boy, you're gonna know

about licks, trust!

- I'm telling my brother about this sh*t!

- No! Please don't tell your brother!

You want a lolly slap? Get your hands

off me! Move, Bob Marley!

Out my way, you big idiot!

I swear you just come out of pen, blud.

Why you so greasy, blud?

Blud, it's not baby oil, it's cocoa butter!

Tasha! No! Please, please! Please, no!

Baby, please!

Let's talk about this! Think of the yoot!

You flopped. You know that?

You're gonna get so f***ed up!

- I'm gonna laugh, boy! Ha!

- No, please, Tash! I beg you!

You should've thought about that, star!

You're dead, rudeboy! Dead!

No, no! Please!

I beg you, not my baby! No!

- (AII groan)

- Don't f*** with me! Pussyclot!

I can't believe you just done that

to a man's car.

This ain't over, Tyrone!

How could you do that, man?

You break a man's heart.

And by the way, learn to speak,

you spasticated p*ssy-eating prick!

(Muffled laughter)

Man's not spastimacated, you know.

It's just a speech impediment.

Oh, my days, blud!

You got my crep back, fam!

Yeah! Blud, I love you, blud!

Come here!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't kiss me, all right?

Here, En.

Here's your lyric book.

My journal. Thank you, K.

Minor.

And Lesoi...

- This is for you.

- Safe.

You were right. I shouldn't have

got myself involved in this sh*t.

- No! You don't say!

- Look, Bookie, I'm sorry, man.

How did you get all our stuff back?

I just climbed in Tyrone's yard.

I just took it, innit?

And you know what?

And that's not all I took.

Someone's been in my f***ing yard.

I don't f***ing believe this.

My f***ing money.

Hey, you, man! Keep looking.

- Why is there a chick on the floor?

- F*** her!

- Well, I wouldn't mind still.

- Don't know, fam.

- Hey, your phone's in the drawer, blud.

- What?

What? "Home alone with no clothes on"?

Man never sent this sh*t!

Boss, I swear it wasn't me.

Listen, any of you man see anyone

coming in and out of this block?

- Well?

- That K yoot still.

Kenneth?

You let Kenneth in the building?

Oh, sh*t.

My sh*t's been taken.

Kenneth. F***ing Kenneth!

Kenneth! Where are you? You're dead,

you hear me? You're f***ing dead!

Mr. Postman, have you seen

that yoot Kenneth?

- Nah, mate.

- Oh! Take man's f***ing money!

Blud, he's an MC. He ain't gonna take

your money, G. He makes Ps, blud.

Shut up, man! How you let man

just leave with my sh*t?

- Told you we shoulda shanked him.

- You're dead, Kenneth!

You hear me? F***ing dead, blud!

Where are you, blud?

I'm not ramping with you, blud!

Man's on this ting! I'm a Goon for life!

You hear that, blud?

Come out now, blud, or man's gonna

come to your mum's yard!

- He sounds vex, boy.

- He's gonna kill me, man.

What you expect? You should've known

that when you climbed in his yard.

How you take his P, blud?

You best give it back.

I can't.

My mum needs that money, man.

Man's gonna lick those straps

in your mum's yard! Yo, p*ssy hole!

I appreciate you getting my stuff back.

But Bookie's right, man.

- I ain't trying to f*** with Tyrone.

- Please, man.

- Kill him, ya...

- No, TJ!

K's gotta handle this one himself.

Move, little p*ssy boys!

Huh? Yo, Kenneth!

You wanted to be the big man.

There you go, blud, be the big man!

Come, we kick.

In approximately ten minutes, blud,

your life is done! You hear that, blud?

On a scale of one to ten, you're ten!

That's deader than dead, blud!

Come, Enrique, man.

- Sorry, K.

- (Tyrone) I confiscate your life, rudeboy!

Huh? P*ssy hole!

What the f***

you man looking at? Huh?

Man's going to execute

your family, blud! Huh?

Your dad, your mother, your little sister,

and that little p*ssy hamster of yours!

Fight like a man, you p*ssy! Huh?

Let's do this right, rudeboy!

Yeah! Fight like a man!

You hear me, fam?

I'm on this ting! You see me, yeah?

I can do this for nine to five, blud!

- Oi, p*ssy hole! Come here!

- Aargh!

- Where's your pussyboy boyfriend?

- I don't know!

- Where is he?

- I don't know!

Don't insult man's

superior intellect here, blud!

There's K.

Looking for me, blud?

Yeah, what you saying, fam?

- Ha-ha! Are you serious, blud?

- K!

What, you rolling with a strap?

Are you delusional?

Is you gone crazy, blud? Ha-ha-ha-ha!

- Huh?

- Don't ever threaten my mum, blud.

Oh, my days! Ha-ha!

Man's on some movie out here, blud!

What, you think

you're some kind of bad man?

What, are you Mr. Dick Tracy

out here, blud?

Is that one of your dad's

little toys over there, blud?

Come on, then, blud! Come on!

Huh? I dare you to, blud. Come on.

Either you're trying to kill me or

piss man off. So, which one is it, blud?

Cos right about now man's

getting emotional still! F*** it!

- Aargh! Aargh!

- Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ah? You messed up, Kenneth.

Hm? Messed up big time.

Little Kenneth, yeah?

Rolling around with a strap.

Ha! Man's got to laugh at that one.

Ha-ha-ha!

- (Gunshots)

- That's how you bang a strap!

F***ing d*ckhead.

I'm the only Dick Tracy out here, blud!

Yeah!

(Growls)

Pulling a strap on me, blud? Huh?

Coming into my yard, blud?

Huh? Taking my sh*t, yeah?

You p*ssy, blud! I told you, blud!

I am on the throne! Me! Tyrone!

Nah, blud.

He's going to kill him. We have

to help him. Look, K needs our help.

Boy, he didn't back me last time.

K all ran away.

At least I'm here watching.

You f***ed with the wrong guy, blud.

Nah. Nah, blud.

Say goodbye, Kenneth.

Just leave him alone, OK?

He cannot take it! You've made

your point! You're gonna kill him!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

You're right, you're right.

Man took it too far, innit?

I stop. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.

You're right, man took it too far.

Too far.

Always the white boy trying be

the hero! Well, not today, rudeboy.

I'm the only Zorro in town!

Come here! Huh? Huh?

You see this? You see this here?

This is what you get!

I run these endz, yeah?

Where the f*** you going, blud?

Take a man for a f***ing p*ssy!

Huh? Huh?

Everybody see this?

What you gonna say now?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes