Anuvahood Page #2

- Oi! Shut the f*** up!

Always outside my house

making f***ing noise! You d*ckhead!

Just cos I'm some crackhead,

don't take me for a fool, you know!

Suck ya mom!

Oi! Taneesha! Oi! Where's my P?

Hey, blud, tell your dad

to allow it, man.

- I swear down that's not my dad, blud.

- Whatever, man.

Taneesha! Come on, Taneesha!

What we on, then, blud?

I don't know about you, blud,

but I'm going yard.

And, no, fam, you can't reach.

Brmm!

Oh, this is a real beauty, this one.

I can't wait to show Kenneth.

Looks lovely, darling. How about

you come and have something to eat?

I can't stop now.

Brian babe, you've been working all day.

You got to eat something.

I'm cooking your favourite,

spaghetti hoops.

Oh, you do spoil me.

All right, then. I love you.

- Love you too.

- Love you more.

- Love you more.

- I love you more.

- Wagwon, Mumsy.

- You're an idiot, Kenneth.

Oi, Mum man,

don't talk to me like that, man.

Seriously, Mum man, I told you

stop talking to me like that, innit?

What you wearing? Don't tell me

you actually walk around like that.

What? It's fashion, man. Swagger, innit?

Whatever. Did you speak

to Russell about that advance?

- I need that money for tomorrow.

- Nah, I left, innit?

You done what?

I left, innit? I'm on bigger tings

than that. You know that, Mum man.

Bigger tings? Bloody bigger tings?

I was relying on that!

- How could you do that?

- Ah, allow it, Mum man.

No, I won't bloody allow it,

you flipping moron!

- I'm not a moron, all right?

- (Brian) Is that you, Kenneth?

Come and have a look

at my Supermarine Spitfire.

I don't wanna see

your wasteman plane, Dad.

Don't you dare speak

to your dad like that.

You're the only waste round here.

Waste of bloody space,

that's what you are.

I mean, look at you.

You could never be like your dad.

Your dad was suave, he had style.

Slot you right in there, just like that.

He had his pick of the women.

I'll tell you.

Your dad was a true player in his day.

You? Wasteman. I mean, when was

the last time you had a girlfriend?

When have you ever

brought a girl round here?

Have you even lost your virginity,

Kenneth? No, I don't think so.

Oh, I mean your dad really knew

how to turn a woman on.

There was this one night

we were on the kitchen table.

- Ah, allow it, Mum man!

- He knew how to put his back into it.

I don't want to hear this, Mum, all right?

- Perfect.

- (Pauline) Yeah, I loved your dad!

You've got no drive, that's your problem.

But I'll tell you something.

You can't just live here for free.

Life ain't like that.

You don't just get things

handed to you.

- How can you just walk out on your job?

- Russell's coming to man on a hype!

Idiot! We're skint. What am I supposed

to do now? They'll be here tomorrow.

Know how much we owe them bailiffs?

- Well, it's not my fault, is it?

- No? Where's my bloody rent money?

You ain't given me sh*t

for the last three months!

- You're a moron.

- I told you I'm not a moron.

What is this, Mum man?

Why you always picking on me for?

You got something against me

or something?

You don't talk to Lily like this. You don't

ask Lily for no rent. It's not right, man.

Lily is seven, you pathetic waste

of space! I tell you something!

You go back and see Russell, and you

beg for your job back for all I care!

Mum, you're mental.

Russell's an idiot, man.

There's no way I'm going back there.

Bun that.

Oh, you will, Kenneth, you will!

- (Door shuts)

- F***ing prick.

( KANO:
"Ps & Qs")

What's going on, blud?

Hmm.

Some manners don't like me

They try and badmouth me

when Kano comes to town...

What, blud?

Are you chatting to me, fam?

Are you chatting to me, blud? Cos

there's no one else here, you know, G.

So, that means you must be

chatting about me, blud! Dah! Dah!

Yeah, that's right, babes.

Yeah, my name's K.

K, K.

Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah!

Let me see your phone, blud. What?

I will take that phone, you know, blud.

Trust me, I am badman out here.

You get me?

Oh...

Hadouken! Hadouken!

Bad man. Feel the pain. Uh!

You better feel the pain. Uh!

Allow me, allow me, mm-mm,

so a man get rowdy.

- (Hamster squeaks)

- Yeah.

Good stuff right there, blud.

That's my balls right there.

Big boy's balls, you get me?

Dizzee Rascal

ain't got nothing on me, fam.

Hmm.

One, two! Yo, yo.

I'm a bad man like K

And I get bear girls, man, I'm not gay

So I just told man, feel the pain

You will get bear girl

Yo, come again like yo

I'm a bad man like K

and I get bear girls, man, I'm not gay

I just told man, feel the pain

You will get bear punches to the brain

I jack a man on a bus or a train

And I draw bear beanies all day

Draw for a ting

and let a boy get sprayed

Ooh, it's a hype hype thing

Hype hype thing, hype hype thing

Everybody's hype hype

Hype hype hype

Yo, come again, come again

Yo, it's hype hype ting, hype hype ting

Everybody's hyping, hyping, hyping

Hype hype ting

Hype hype ting

Everybody's hyping, hyping, yo

Make a man draw for a ting

It's a hype hype thing...

- What are you doing, Kenneth?

- Aah! What the f***, man?

What you doing in my room, man?

Get out, man.

And I told you, call me K, all right?

My name is K.

Your name's Kenneth, you fool,

and Mum told me to bring your food up.

(Sucking teeth) Then put it on my desk,

then, innit, rudegirl?

- Is this your lyric book, K?

- What? Come here, man! Come here!

(Music playing)

- You're not allowed in my room!

- Shut up.

- Mum!

- Shut your mouth, man.

What you laughing at, huh? I swear to

God, man, you fools better recognise.

- You're the fool. You're the fool.

- You're the fool. You're the fool.

- You're the fool.

- Just shut your mouth, man!

You're the fool!

Even Mum says you're the fool!

You're the one doing all this.

You can't MC, fool.

What? Are you dumb? Man is a topboy

MC out here, man. Give me my book.

I said give me my book.

You're lucky I don't hurt you, you know.

True say I think your sister's kinda buff

so I'll allow you, innit?

My sister don't like you.

What?

What? She said that, yeah?

Whatever, man!

Your sister's butters anyway, man.

Probably got at least two babyfathers

by now, you get me? Sket.

You see me, yeah?

Man a badman out here, boy!

You're a loser, K.

Why don't you just get a life or a girl?

All right.

- (Hawks)

- Mum!

You have got a message

You've got a message, message

You have got a message

You've got a message...

(Knock at door)

(Knocking)

Pauline! You all right, darling?

- What do you want?

- What do we want?

Now, that's a silly question.

Ain't that a silly question, Dal?

- Sounds quite silly to me, Tel.

- Assessment.

Got to value up your goods for later,

and I love it!

Exciting stuff, Tel.

Wankers.

(Pauline) But you're not even

supposed to be here till five.

I just love seeing your beautiful face,

Pauline. Always so happy.

- Ray of sunshine, ain't she, Dal?

- Beautiful, Tel.

Look, I just need a bit more time.

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