Apartment Troubles Page #2

Hate an animal and kill with it

with your own bare, golden hands!

I loved the cat!

You loved the cat?!

I... I didn't hate the cat.

I wouldn't kill.

You were jealous of the pure

love that he had for me.

Sorry, I don't... it...

He is seagull

and he's right here.

He's right here and I loved him.

Could you please call the vet?

Because I think They'll be

able to tell us what to do.

$150 is absurd for a cremation.

This doesn't feel right.

You're just socialized

to feel like this.

When I was in India,

this is how they honor the dead.

You free human souls

on the funeral pyre.

And IF It's good

enough for people...

I want to get out of this city.

I just could use

a break, you know?

I can't be here.

Not in the apartment.

Actually...

My dad has a private jet,

his company, that he's never on.

And, Frank the pilot,

he loves me.

There's a private jet

we could use to get away?

Yeah.

You really think

there's an option?

Check this out.

This is crazy.

- It's a sign.

- What is that?

That's literally a sign.

"That special something.

Do you have

a special talent?"

No, no. This is

my aunt Kimberly's show.

I found this today.

It's a reality talent show

and she lives in LA

and she's always saying

to come anytime.

Let's take a vacation.

I think seagull

would've wanted this.

Help us have a great weekend

in Los Angeles.

Can I wear your shirt

that you're wearing?

You want to wear this?

It's really pretty.

Showtime, folks.

Showtime, folks.

The time is showtime.

One time for you.

Hey, hey!

Hey!

Yeah!

Watch him.

Watch him!

That was our show.

New York City, where's the love?

What are you doing?

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

I've never done this before,

but, um,

those dancers were really great

and I just feel really

inspired right now.

I just wanted to talk

to you because, well,

Eleanor Roosevelt said, do something

every day that terrifies you.

And, um, I think

you're all really brave.

And a lot of you look like

you're coming home

from work right now.

I just want you to know

you're doing a really good job.

And I don't know

IF anybody's told you that,

but they should because...

I just lost someone really,

um, important to me.

He was one of my best friends

and it makes me realize

how precious everything is.

And, um,

do I seem weird right now?

In conclusion, um, well, I...

I wanted you to know

that I think the world

wants you to be happy.

And IF you're not feeling happy,

just hold your heart

and feel that you love yourself.

And, um, yeah, that's all

I wanted to say.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, I guess I left the phone

on during the flight.

How are we gonna get to

Kimberly's IF we can't call her?

Are you listening to me?

Just feeling really

sad about seagull.

Uh-huh.

I can't believe

he was alive yesterday.

Olivia...

Just feeling my feelings.

I know, but you cried,

like, the entire flight.

That's a six-hour flight.

That was six hours.

Can we focus right now

and just figure out

how to get to Kimberly's?

Isn't she picking us up?

I... I'm sure she would

IF we could call her.

Did you tell her we're coming?

She said, like, come anytime

so I just figured when...

Do you have money for a taxi?

I have $4.

Sir, uh, do you mind

IF we borrow your phone?

Sure, no problem.

What do you need?

Can't get the number

off this phone.

- Set it to...

- Never mind.

Do you need a ride?

That's okay.

You two look like nice people.

I mean, IF you know the address

and you want a ride,

I'll just drive you

wherever you're going.

Where you going?

521 waverly.

Yeah, that's fine.

Get in.

It's a stranger, Olivia.

He wants to help us.

It's a sign.

Not everything is

a sign from the universe.

It's all we have left now.

We have to have faith.

We have to start trusting.

I'll bring it,

but Debbie's gonna bring it.

There are gonna be

two footballs!

No, no, no, no!

Fine!

You are a Turkey!

You're a friggin' Turkey,

t-u-r-k-e-y.

You're a... We'll talk about

this later, Jesus Christ.

Oh, wow. I'm sorry.

That was my mom.

- Ugh.

- Really?

Where are you guys from?

New York City.

Oh, I love New York.

I live there.

That's where I live.

That's where I'm from.

It's a really small world.

It's tiny.

Oh, my God.

I don't think my mom is

gonna let me go back, though.

And that sucks.

That's too bad.

- I know.

- Why?

She's got something in her butt.

Well, you're a grown man.

I... yeah, I'm a grown man,

but I have a mommy still

and I listen to her.

I listen to what she Says.

- That's really sweet of you.

- Yeah, no, I know.

- You're a good son.

- I do what she wants.

She's a powerful lady

and she will spank me.

She will spank me hard.

She's getting older,

but she packs it, you know.

- Serious?

- Why?

- What?

- I'm just kidding.

It's a friggin' joke!

You got a sense of humor.

Are you feeling okay?

Yeah! Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Is she okay?

- Am I okay?

- Yeah. Are you okay?

You're just like my mom.

You got something in your butt

and It's not something

that makes you happy.

What is that?

It's China.

Um...

I'm kidding.

It's a joke.

It's an Adderall.

I take Adderall.

- You do?

- Yeah, I do.

It's good stuff, right?

Is yours, like,

prescribed or street?

It's prescribed.

Yeah, I got a doctor

on this sh*t.

Uh, that was a red light.

Oh, Oh!

I missed it.

I'm an adult and I

know when It's safe

to go through a frickin' red.

Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I'll stop

at a green, okay?

Oh, my God.

I want some candy.

But is it too late for candy?

Is it too late for candy?

I'm asking you a question.

Actually, you know what?

Can you just pull over?

No, no, no, no.

Door to door service

for you guys.

- It's fine.

- Seriously, we're close.

I'm even going

to carry your baggage.

- Uh, It's on...

- I'm a gentleman.

Can you just pull over,

please, sir, just here?

You said the address

was 521 waverly

and that is where

this car is going.

I am your knight

in shining armor.

Onward, miladies.

Jesus, you guys are

f***ing pains in the ass.

I'm gonna close my eyes

for one second.

Tell me when it turns green.

Impeccable decision-making

skills, Olivia.

Hello?

Kimberly?

Who in the... ha... Oh.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing here?

Hi. I came for a visit.

Well, I'm delighted,

but what are you doing here?

You're supposed to be

at the lake with your family.

Lake, what?

- Hello.

- Hi.

Hi.

Are they there right now?

Well, I thought that

they were going there.

- No?

- What?

Yes, your mom and dad

and Joan and the ki...

Oh. Now, don't get

upset about it.

I'm sure it was

just a last minute

kind of a nothing,

who cares, right?

No, Joan and the kids are there.

Who cares?

You're here, both of you.

And we are going

to have so much fun.

- Oh.

- Who's your friend?

- Olivia.

- Oliv... what?

No! Come in here,

come in here.

Oh, well, I haven't

seen you since you were

just a tiny little tater tot.

Yeah, back when

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes