Apocalypse Now Redux Page #15

CHEF:

No, sir. I'm a real chef. I'm a

saucier.

WILLARD:

Saucier?

CHEF:

Yes, sir. See, I come from New

Orleans. I was raised to be a

saucier. A great saucier.

WILLARD:

What's a saucier?

CHEF:

We specialize in sauces. Gotta be

a mango tree here somewhere...Then,

I was supposed to go to Paris, to

the Escoffier School. But then I

got orders for my physical.

As they move deeper into the jungle.

CHEF:

Well, I joined the navy. Heard

they had better food. Cook school,

that did it.

WILLARD:

Oh, yeah? How's that?

Chef puts down his bucket and rifle, takes a leak. Willard

takes a few steps farther in the jungle and then sits by

him on a log.

CHEF:

You don't wanna hear about that.

They lined us up in front of a

hundred yards of prime rib. All

of us, you know, looking at it?

Magnificent. Magnifique. Next

thing, they're throwing the meat

into these big cauldrons.

Willard has heard something in the jungle during this

explanation. He becomes alert.

CHEF:

All of it. Boiling it. I looked

inside, man, it was turning grey.

I couldn't f***ing believe that

one! That's when I applied for

radioman's school, but they-

Chef looks up, seeing Willard standing a distance away,

poised with his rifle. Willard signals to him to come

cautiously. He motions to Chef to move with him, each

covering the other. They walk a few yards from where they

have heard something move.

CHEF:

What is it? Charlie?

MEDIUM SHOT - PANNING - WILLARD

moving through the jungle cautiously, he is comfortable in

this environment. He signals and directs his way very

expertly, giving silent instructions to Chef on how to

move with him.

They seem to have the intruder localized and proceed very

quietly toward where he is.

MEDIUM SHOT - THE ELEPHANT GRASS - WILLARD AND CHEF

Suddenly the grass folds almost to Willard, and a huge

TIGER leaps out at them, snarling magnificently. They

fire wildly, emptying their clips.

CHEF:

It's a motherfucking tiger! It's

a tiger, man! A tiger!

He turns and bolts through the jungle, as scared as a man

can be.

CHEF:

Motherfucking tiger!

Willard backs out of the clearing, covering the bushes and

runs, scared out of his head as well. They fire their

M16s indiscriminately running back to the boat, screaming.

FULL SHOT - THE BOAT

The crew is armed. They've heard the screaming. Lance

has the twin fifties pointed into the jungle. Chef comes

screaming out of the brush. Throws his rifle in the boat

and dives headfirst after it.

CHIEF:

Battle stations. Lance, up front.

Get on your sixty, Clean.

CHEF:

F***ing tiger!

CLEAN:

Let's go!

CHEF:

Chief, you were right. Never get

out of the f***ing boat!

CHIEF:

Clean, bring that 60 forward.

CHEF:

Never get out of the boat! I gotta

remember! Gotta remember! Never

get out of the boat!

CHIEF:

How many is it?

CHEF:

A f***ing tiger!

CLEAN:

What?

CHEF:

Tiger!

CHIEF:

Tiger?

CHEF:

(going berserk)

I'm done with this goddamn f***ing

sh*t! You can kiss my ass on the

county square, because I'm f***ing

bugging out! I don't f***ing need

it! I didn't get on the goddamn A

train for this kind of sh*t! All

I wanted to do is f***ing cook! I

just wanted to learn to f***ing

cook, man!

The others try to calm him down.

LANCE:

You're all right. You're all right.

CHEF:

All right. It's gonna be all right.

It's gonna be all right. Never

get out of the boat. 'Bye, tiger!

'Bye tiger!

The boat pulls away as he continues ranting about the tiger.

CLOSE ON WILLARD

Looking back into the jungle.

WILLARD (V.O.)

Never get out of the boat.

Absolutely goddamn right. Unless

you were going all the way.

EXT. RIVER - THE PBR - NIGHT

The PBR moves down the dark, silent river through the night.

WILLARD (V.O.)

Kurtz got off the boat. He split

from the whole f***ing program.

How did that happen? What did he

see here that first tour?

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