Are You Here Page #7

What?

You're just a crazy jackoff

making bullshit plans

that will never amount

to anything,

because that's what you are.

Nothing.

Holy sh*t!

Who are you?

Who do you think you are?

Huh?

Jesus Christ.

Ben, what the f***

is wrong with you?

Did you hear

what he said to me?

I just ordered a beer.

Ben, I heard him, man.

That's all he said.

You're f***ing crazy, man.

So you talk to the doctor

and I'll talk to Slochum.

He's okay?

Yeah, couple

of stitches.

Well, tell him

I'm really sorry.

Solomon, why don't you have a seat

while your dad and I have a word?

Ben, I'll be with you

in a minute.

Let me get some coffee.

I'll run you home after.

Hey.

Hi.

You ever read

this sh*t?

I mean, every issue

is exactly the same.

I guess.

I mean, look at this.

Why do you need a toothbrush

on a desert island?

Why are you here?

Because I talk

to God.

Oh, really?

Why are you here?

Me?

I don't know.

They want me to take

some medication,

be like everybody else.

Solomon, we'll see you

again on Thursday, okay?

Ben, shall we?

God wants you

to take your medicine.

Seat belt.

He's still asleep.

It's incredible that a woman

with such a great hangover cure

would be against drinking.

I'm not against drinking.

Do you remember Sam at all?

Have you talked

to Terri?

She doesn't know

what to do.

She's just going to wait

until it doesn't look so bad,

which means it's over.

I think even Ben

knows that.

Well, I guess you could

come back to the city with me,

and I know what you're

going to say about cities,

but it's Annapolis,

not really even a city.

But why would I

go with you?

What about dinner?

Can I stay?

Can we think

that far ahead?

What about your job?

I can't face

doing the weather

in this completely

unadulterated, unpolluted state.

Plus, every time I leave here,

something terrible happens.

He's a grown man.

I mean,

it's admirable, but...

I don't think the issues

of his life are your problem.

My problem?

You just spent

the last five years

taking care of Methuselah.

We were married.

See, nobody believes

in friendship.

People talk about it.

You see it on TV.

People drop by and then

go to the doctor together.

No one eats alone.

But most people are alone.

That's the thing

about friendship.

It's a lot rarer than love.

Because there's nothing

in it for anybody.

They're just two forms

of the same thing.

Don't you want me

to stay for dinner?

I'll let you cook.

Just go easy on the sherry.

Remember our agreement.

We don't have an agreement.

Do you like chicken?

Like? Try love.

Go get one.

You want me to kill

someone at the store for it?

Are you kidding?

Come on, take it.

You want to be here?

Be here.

It's like picking out

a lobster.

Goddammit.

Sh*t.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's... it's all right.

It's going to be okay.

Who am I kidding?

Oh, sh*t.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, f***.

Sh*t.

Jesus...

Dinner.

Is that him?

Her.

Smells pretty good.

Hey, everybody.

I feel like we should

say grace or something.

Steve?

Fine, fine,

I killed the chicken.

Am I supposed

to feel bad about that?

People do it every day.

No, they really don't.

Well, then how am I

supposed to feel?

I don't know.

Grateful, maybe?

Oh...

Right.

Um...

Thank you, God,

and this chicken,

of course, who made

the ultimate sacrifice

in harm's way.

Uh, amen.

Great, let's eat.

Would you?

I thought I was going

to have a problem with this,

but damn,

that's a juicy bird.

It does smell

really good.

You want some?

Yeah, I think I do.

Ben?

Okay, you got my phone number.

Oh...

Here, take it.

It's my last one.

I'm going to lay off

for a while.

What am I going to do

with one joint?

Better try and get by,

but when I come back,

I'm bringing you the biggest

bag of dope you've ever seen.

I don't think so. Okay, maybe

you've seen a bigger one.

But I'm bringing a lot.

Do what you want. I don't

know where I'll be.

That's kind of ominous.

And because

of its non sequitur nature,

I'm going to take that

as a yes on the weed.

Why don't you take

all of this as clarity?

You don't have

to come back, okay?

Suddenly you're going

to get your own weed?

Look, I'm done.

That's it. It's over.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about, we took this ski

lift to the top of the mountain.

We got off. You're going one

way, and I'm going the other.

There's only one way

to go, down.

You can't get on the lift

without me.

In fact,

you can't even ski.

I can ski. When have

you been skiing?

You told that girl you could

ski and I backed you up on it,

but you'd never been skiing.

Then you told her

you'd never been skiing,

and you sold me out,

remember?

Forget about skiing.

You're talking stupid sh*t.

I need you to take this

seriously for once.

Take something seriously!

Oh, I get it.

You're strong.

All has been revealed.

I'm just saying

this is my problem,

and you're exacerbating it.

You are truly batshit.

I'm sure it's scary to take fixing

me off your list of things to do,

because all that's left

is fixing you.

Oh, wow.

Thank you for that.

Yeah, 'cause I'm

the selfish one here.

There's no chance

you're the a**hole.

Look, you don't know me,

and you don't owe me, okay?

Well, if you feel the need to punch

me in the balls knock yourself out.

I'll try to clear my schedule for the

next time the clarity wears off.

Are you going?

Yeah, I got to get back.

Oh.

I got the job, you know.

No, of course.

You don't want

to walk me to the car?

Well, if you're leaving,

you're leaving.

I mean, I can call you

or something.

Well, do you

not want me to go?

Well, it's not going

to be easy here.

And not because

I'm pining for you.

I mean, you know

I'm not going to leave.

You're counting on it, so

really, you're just using me.

And throw in the fact that...

maybe I do have feelings.

Oh, God,

so do I.

No... half a day sobriety

isn't going to open that door.

Oh, you can still

walk me outside, you know.

No funny business,

I promise.

You should go.

I'll stay here until I feel

okay about going.

So you can feel okay

about going.

Now, about

this tropical depression

brewing off the Florida Keys,

it's too early to tell

if this Gulf air will hold

and create

hurricane conditions.

So Victoria,

we will keep an eye on that.

Thank you, Steve.

We certainly will.

State officials

announced today...

Dallas?

Steve Dallas?

Yes, mein fuhrer. ..

You know,

for a second out there,

I thought

you were sober.

Then I realized you're probably on

some drug I've never even heard of.

Look at this sh*t.

Why don't they get us tubes,

like astronauts?

I don't know. The

sandwiches are pretty good.

Chicken baloney?

Do you have any idea

where that even comes from?

Yeah, a chicken.

It's a lot harder

than that.

I didn't know

you painted.

I don't really.

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