Area 51 Page #5

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in front of him,

he's got the breathing

apparatus.

People don't want to look.

People don't want to know.

Roswell, 1947, right?

The crash.

They move all that

stuff here in 1951.

We're reverse engineering

the spacecraft right now,

right over there.

What you see on a map?

That's just what the governments

are willing to let you see.

Our government does

nothing in front of us.

And so, there's a lot

of hangers,

a lot of infrastructure

underground.

I would be skeptical, too,

if I thought there were these

comic book little green aliens.

They're not these furry,

little sweet creatures,

they're scary, man.

The one that he saw had rows of teeth,

you know, like, several back...

The eyes, black.

Just endless black pit.

It's like white blood, you know?

They shed their skin.

He's like a snake,

but these giant patches...

It's not just your body that they probe,

they probe your mind.

They can control your mind.

Throw you against the wall

out of nowhere.

You can tell when

they're around, too.

You get these

migraine headaches.

I mean, beyond anything

you could ever imagine.

You get nosebleeds.

You hear about those people having

those near-death experiences,

and the whole thing about,

"Walk into the light! Walk into the light!"

That's what that is.

It's almost like you cease

to exist for a bit.

You have no idea

what happened at the time.

It's just white.

Like eternal endless white.

You can't see where the floor

stops and the ceiling starts.

How do you even know

you were on the ship?

You don't.

Experimentation, the dissection,

everything we've done to them,

it's Guantanamo Bay, man.

You just better hope

they never get out.

They have their own

police department,

they got an underground

transportation system,

and they have

their own government.

Area 51, man,

it's the 51st state.

Here it is.

It's right up there on the left.

This is a little creepy,

man. What if this guy's crazy?

He's fine.

He's totally normal.

Glenn?

Yeah. You Reid?

Yeah.

Nice to meet you.

Reid's finally found

his best friend.

- Hey, what's up, man?

- Where are we going?

I guess you're coming

to Area 51, eh?

This road will take us

down to the border.

It's one of the main

access roads to the base.

What kind of security

might we run in to?

At the border, always

on the same hill.

You see the camo dudes,

you see two guys

in a white Jeep Cherokee.

Right.

They're always there,

24 hours a day.

I'll drive along with

the little frequency detector

and when this thing pops off,

it tells me,

"I just ran over a road sensor."

Slow down. Slow. Slow.

Look around in one of these

bushes and see if you can...

Oh.

- Right there.

- Okay.

Oh, yeah.

If you didn't know this was here,

this would look like

a plate of grass to you.

There's your antenna.

There's no way you'd find this

without some sort of electronic aid.

Look at that

"US Government Property."

We're on public land, mind you.

All right, there we go.

Okay.

2-0-2-2.

This was gonna

send out the code 022.

The camo dudes are gonna

come along and investigate,

and see who's

approaching the border.

This is the simple stuff

we find outside the border.

Inside the border,

you may have your ammonia sensors,

you may have your heat sensors.

If you can defeat this unit

out here on public land,

you'd probably be able to

defeat what they have inside.

There's a car over there.

That's them.

That's the camo dudes?

Those are the camo dudes.

I'm not gonna get a sniper bullet

in my head right now, am I?

Just pull over on to the side

of the road, right here.

Just pull up to that area.

Is there a guy there?

Can you see?

You got a, uh,

telephoto on that?

Yeah, I zoomed in on him.

Can you see if there's...

They even got the

binoculars on us right now.

Really?

Two guys, right? Yep.

Up there in that ridge,

there are two tripods.

There's one.

One of them is

pointing toward us.

And there's

another one right there.

The other one is pointing toward

the road we just came down.

So, if you have a vehicle,

there's no real sneaking in.

We're really getting out

of the car right now?

Yeah.

These are your

camo dudes up here.

Are you the happiest

human being ever, right now?

- Yeah.

- This is amazing.

Right over there.

Everything you've ever wanted.

This is almost as exciting.

Yeah.

This could be used against you...

If I had a choice,

I'd be at a pool in Vegas right now.

We made it to the border.

Oh, there's another one.

We're tourists, guys.

Sorry.

So, what brings you out here?

Oh, work.

So, I'm really just out here.

Since I was close,

I decided I should

come by and do

the touristy thing...

You guys have fun.

Okay. All right. Thanks.

Here's a guy with no license plates.

Yeah, you're a tourist. Sure.

That guy is

a security guard, huh?

Undercover.

Just don't do

anything stupid, okay?

You got it.

Thank you, Glenn.

Later.

See, I told you he wasn't weird.

Right over there.

It's so close. I can taste it.

- Now let's go talk to that guy.

- What?

Huh? Let's go talk to this guy.

Come on.

Err...

Hey, uh, sir, what are

you looking for?

See anything?

You think I wanna come out here?

They make me come out here!

Okay. All right.

Let's go.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to do that.

Don't talk to the locals.

Ben, don't antagonize

strangers like that, dude.

What? I didn't know

he was gonna be crazy, dude.

The door's open.

What?

Did you leave it open?

No. We have all our

stuff in there.

I didn't leave it open.

Dude, open the door.

You kidding me?

- Hello?

- F***.

Dude.

Anybody here?

It looks the same.

It's all here, I think.

It's everything.

What if someone f***ing

bugged the place.

Hello?

What the f***?

Hey.

Hey.

- Oh, my God.

- Jesus Christ!

Dude, are you...

I knew you'd get here.

Hi, guys.

What are you doing here?

Yeah. What are you doing here?

We gotta get moving.

Let's go.

- I'm coming with you guys.

- What?

I asked the guy up front.

F***.

They've got ammonia sensors

all over the base,

so these neomycin pills

will mask our ammonia levels.

Okay.

Darrin and I have been taking them

for a few days now,

so we're gonna have to triple your dosage.

Well, are they gonna work?

Hopefully. Might have to test

your levels before we leave.

Keep moving.

We have a lot to do.

Terrible idea.

Darrin, you need to take two.

Say something, man.

You shouldn't...

I don't know what that is.

Just tell him that

it's not okay with you, dude.

Hey.

Maybe we don't

bring her with us.

What?

We shouldn't bring her.

We don't need her with us.

What are you talking about?

She's gonna get us caught.

She's not gonna get us caught,

we have the Freon suit.

So what? That's not a good

enough reason, okay?

Dude, we can't tell her no,

okay? She's helped us out,

she gave us all the stuff,

she gave us the maps.

Okay. Well,

the ammonia pills, okay?

The level's gonna

be way too high.

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