Armageddon Page #2

Uh, those are nothing.

Uh, they're the size of basketballs...

and, uh, Volkswagens,

things like that.

ls this going to hit us?

- We're efforting that as we speak, sir.

- What kind of damage are we--

Damage?

Total, sir.

lt's what we call a global killer.

The end of mankind.

Doesn't matter where it hits.

Nothing would survive,

not even bacteria.

My God. What do we do?

We have 18 days

before it hits Earth.

- Have mercy.

- Rise and shine!

Stop the drilling!

Stop the drilling! Stop the drilling!

- Fore!

- Stop the drilling!

Stop the drilling!

Stop the drilling!

- Hey!

- Hey, that was close!

l gave you 50,000 a year in donations!

What do you think they're

so mad about, Chick?

Well, l think they feel that

drilling for oil is an evil thing.

Do you know how much diesel

that clunker boat pumps out in an hour?

You know, l just found out

something interesting.

- Number two chewed 180 feet last night.

- Who do we have to thank for this?

Well, l'll give you two guesses,

but you're only gonna need one.

Goddam it, A.J.!

A.J.!

A.J.!

A.J., you in here?

Oh, that's just perfect.

ln bed. Get up!

- Uh, hey, you wanted to see me?

- Yeah, l was lookin' for ya.

You're pissed.

Okay, l can see that.

No. You know what, A.J.?

l'm not pissed. You've seen me pissed.

This is way, way beyond pissed, though.

- You know l shut down number two

last night, right?

- Yeah, man, l had a hunch on that.

Dude, let me tell you somethin'.

Someday, many years from now,

when you're all growed up...

and you got your own

oil company and $8 million

of your own money on the contract...

you can do whatever comes

into that little A.J.-idiotin' mind

of yours you want...

but as long as it says

''Harry Stamper Oil'' on the rig

you will not disobey my rules.

- You got that?

- Yeah, l do got it.

- Right now, l need to hear

five words from you.

- Uh--

- l'll never do that again.

- Never do that again.

l'm a fool. That was idiotic.

l-l mean, that was stupid.

l'm an idiot. l know what name's

on the sign. l'm not-- l can't--

- What's going on here?

- What's going on? Well, l-l mean, l--

- l screwed up. l'm a little edgy.

- How long you worked for me?

- Five wonderful years.

ln five years, you have never

apologized to me this quickly.

- Something's going on here.

l'm gonna find out what it is.

- No, no, no. Well--

l-l'm turning over a new leaf.

l'm trying to learn from the man.

What would Harry do?

l'm at a loss for words.

- Okay, l can explain this.

- You can explain that?

- l can.

- l would really like an explanation.

You just stay right here.

- Grace?

- Hi, Harry.

l have asked you repeatedly

to call me Dad.

- Sorry, Harry.

- Get up and get your clothes on.

You just stay right there.

l'll be right back.

Here's what we're gonna do.

l want every strategy we've got

on near-Earth object collision, okay?

Any ideas, any programs,

anything you sketched

on a pizza box or a cocktail napkin.

For 30 years, they questioned

the need for NASA. Today

we're gonna give them the answer.

You know about this, Rockhound?

You knew.

No, l-l had no idea.

Where's Harry?

Harry! All right! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

l understand, okay?

You're mad.

Who-Who wouldn't be mad?

- But he's gonna shoot you.

- Nah. No, he's not. Oh, sh*t.

- Harry!

- What's wrong with you?

Make your peace with God, A.J.

- This guy's got a gun, man!

He's shooting at me!

- Harry, this is not funny!

- Harry, listen to me!

We can talk this over!

- So is this a, uh, serious thing?

- Yeah, pretty serious.

- Bear, man!

- What's up?

He's shooting at me. Uh, you see Harry

comin', crack him with that wrench!

You told A.J.'s dad just before he died

that you would take care of the boy.

Now, l'm not sure that shootin' him

is takin' care of him.

- Why don't you put the gun down, boss?

- You don't want none of this, Bear.

Get out of my way.

Just trying to give my man

a head start, that's all.

Not to mention the fact that l

don't think you wanna kill the best man

on your crew before we strike oil.

Ah, Chick, l ain't gonna kill him.

Just gonna take a foot off.

A man can work with one foot.

You remember old Frank Marx

who worked with one hand all them years?

- Yeah, but he wasn't very good.

- Harry, put the gun down!

You're acting insane!

Now honey, go get some clothes on

and get out of the way.

- You can't control my life.

- Fine. Clothes. Now!

All right, stop, all right? lt was funny

for a minute, it's not funny any more.

- Harry, this is illegal, man.

- l'm temporarily insane, Rock.

lt's all right.

- Do l look like l'm crazy to you?

- Well--

Harry, hey, just cool down.

- What are you-- Okay, stop.

- All right. All right, Harry.

All right. Now, listen, man to man.

l'm serious. l love her.

Way wrong answer.

- Whoa, whoa, Harry. lt's gettin' real.

- Harry! Come on, Harry!

- Stop him!

- You shot him!

Bullet never got close.

Just a ricochet.

You know, it's all funny

till somebody gets shot in the leg.

Hey, pucker up!

We got clients incoming!

Uh, b-back in, uh, 1974...

w-we first got the-the idea,

the possibility that a, that a meteor

or an asteroid--

l need somebody who's had a little less

caffeine this morning. Doc, translate.

Our first feasibility plan was to use

a spread-focus laser generator...

to heat the object

to the point of fracture.

That's like shooting a B.B. gun

at a freight train, Doc.

Uh, some of us have got this idea.

We want to land a craft,

deploy solar sails.

You'll have a great big canopy.

Solar winds will be caught...

by these mylar sails.

- Okay.

- Come on, guys.

We gotta come up with something

realistic here. We got 18 days.

That's 431 hours,

Time's a luxury we don't have.

What?

Listen, Harry. A.J. is my choice--

my choice and not yours.

He's the only one in your age bracket,

Grace. lt's not a choice,

it's a lack of options.

l don't know what in the world makes

you think that you have the right

to tell me what to do any more, Harry.

l suppose being your father

doesn't count, huh?

- Not really.

- Since when?

Since l reached the age of 10

and became older than you, Harry.

Since Mom split.

Why don't you take your pick?

Look, l understand that you are

handicapped by a natural immaturity

and l forgive you.

l may be an immature father, okay?

But l'm still your employer.

And as your boss l want you

on that crew boat tonight

and back in the office by Monday.

- You got that?

- Okay. l quit.

Grace, you can't quit now.

l need you to keep on workin'.

- Hi, Harry!

- What are you smilin' about?

l've been seein' A.J.

for more than five months, Harry.

You little hypocrite. l ever held you

back once from doin' anything?

What about having a life, Harry?

The first time l got my period...

Rockhound had to take me

into Taipei for Tampax...

and then he had to show me

how to use 'em, Harry.

l ju-- No, l-l told her how to use it.

l didn't show her, Harry.

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