As Good as It Gets Page #6

ON VERDELL:

again carefully placing his paws to avoid a crack in the

sidewalk. Melvin laughs out loud -- puts on plastic

gloves hurriedly so he can lift the dog to eye level.

MELVIN:

Don't be like me, don't you be

like me. You stay just the way

you are because you are a perfect

man. I'm gonna take you home and

get you something to eat... what

you love.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

FEMALE PASSERSBY

(charmed)

Ohhh. I'd like to be treated like

that.

MELVIN:

(all smiles to Verdell)

Let's go home and do some writing.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Melvin whaling away at his computer, reading to himself

with great satisfaction as he goes.

Verdell sits at his chair, fascinated by the speed of his

master's fingers on the keyboard. He reads his writing

aloud to the dog.

MELVIN:

"He turned off the gas jets and

carried her outside. He kissed

her brow and when her eyes opened

and found him, he said, 'there are

easier ways to break a date.' She

laughed. The only sensible

ambition he had ever known was now

realized. He had made the girl

happy. And what a girl. 'You've

saved my life,' she said, 'you'd

better make it up to me.'"

Exhilarated by his own words, he shuts down the machine...

MELVIN:

(singing to Verdell)

Done!

(playing with him some)

Yes, I hate the doggy... yes, I

hate the doggy.

He exits.

MELVIN (V.O.)

Sixty-two books... done!

As the dog goes shooting off to the kitchen we leave our

couple's play time for...

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM/LIVING ROOM/HALLWAY - DAY

As the rookie invalid awakens in precisely the same foul

mood he'd had on falling asleep. In the living room, the

maid, NORA, is talking with Jackie -- we catch only a few

words as they review Simon's mounting pile of bills and

talk of how long Nora can stay on.

INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY

Frank knocking on Melvin's door. He opens it.

FRANK:

How's Verdell doing?

MELVIN:

He's a pain in the ass.

As he looks over at the dog, Verdell trots over and,

without realizing it, Melvin smiles at him to Frank's

surprise.

FRANK:

Simon's home. I was sort of

hoping you could keep the dog

until he's had a chance to think

and adjust...

MELVIN:

(leaping at the chance)

It's been five weeks... another

few won't kill me.

FRANK:

No. He wants him back. He'll be

by tomorrow.

MELVIN:

(too loudly, weirdly)

Okay by me.

Frank exits.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Melvin sits -- Verdell looks up at him. Melvin walks to

the door. He turns the lock... then checks that they are

locked... checks again to make sure he turned them in the

correct direction... turns from the door... then back to

check once more. And again... and again... anguished,

until now he breaks briefly, the dog looking on.

INT. NEW YORK BUILDING - MELVIN'S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY

Melvin opens the door -- looks at the scarred Simon in a

wheelchair and shudders...

MELVIN:

That's some face they left hanging

on you. You look like...

SIMON:

(interrupting)

Could you take it just a little

easy, Mr. Udall?

A beat of silence as Melvin thinks whether to comply.

SIMON:

Thank you. Verdell... sweetheart?

(to Melvin)

By the way, thanks for saving me.

MELVIN:

I called. I never touched you. I

didn't leave my name or nothing.

SIMON:

(not listening)

Verdell?

ON VERDELL:

Totally weirded out... hiding behind Melvin... now Melvin

shifts and Simon and Verdell see each other... Simon

smiles at the dog... he is emotionally caught up in the

reunion.

SIMON:

Hi, sweetheart.

Verdell isn't eager.

ON SIMON:

The first gnawing pains of rejection.

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY

Simon pats his leg -- trying unsuccessfully to get

Verdell to approach him. Instead the dog goes to the

door and scratches at it. Jackie starts to pick the dog

up.

SIMON:

No. Please, don't force him.

JACKIE:

(to dog)

You little stinker. He's given

you everything.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

MELVIN'S POV

Verdell's towel on the floor -- near his bowl.

BACK TO SCENE:

Melvin's lips compress... he sits on the piano bench and

hits a few keys... looks at Verdell's empty spot again...

there are those who "get the joke" -- Melvin is clearly

one -- he laughs suddenly and helplessly even as he feels

the panic rise in him...

... all his painstaking success in keeping the lid on and

now it threatens to blow for a reason he articulates.

MELVIN:

Over the dog... an ugly dog.

It's hilarious. But now the humor detours. An actual

sob is choked back... he gets up -- following a definite

pattern across the room. He is conducting a small but

highest-stakes fight for survival. Momentarily a scared,

beaten middle-aged man -- he races out the door.

EXT. NYC STREETS - DAY

Melvin charging as fast as crack checks allow and then

turning into a building with a copper sign reading

"Grammercy Park Psychiatric Group."

MELVIN:

Worst sidewalk in New York and

look where they put in.

INT. PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE - DAY

Melvin bursts in on the psychiatrist and emits one word.

MELVIN:

Help!

DOCTOR:

If you want to see me you will not

do this. You will make an

appointment...

MELVIN:

Explain to me how you can diagnose

someone as "obsessive compulsive

disorder" and then act like I have

any choice in barging in.

DOCTOR:

There's not going to be a debate.

You must leave.

The Doctor moves into the hallway, forcing Melvin to

follow.

MELVIN:

You said you could help me --

what was that -- a tease?

DOCTOR:

I can help you if you take the

responsibility to keep regular

app --

MELVIN:

(suddenly)

You changed the room around...

DOCTOR:

Two years ago...

Melvin shakes his head -- as if things weren't bad enough

he must go through a careful exercise noting every new

element before he's at all comfortable... as he studies

each object. The Doctor is professionally intrigued

despite himself.

DOCTOR:

I also regrew my beard... but

you're not interested in changes

in me... so it's like I always

told you... when it comes to

people you...

MELVIN:

Shhhhhhh. I don't have this

mountain of available time... I

got to get to my restaurant on

time. Do you know how hard it is

for me to be here?

DOCTOR:

Yes.

(as Melvin starts

for the office)

No.

INT. PSYCHIATRISTS' WAITING ROOM - DAY

More PATIENTS in the almost-crowded waiting room. Melvin

passes through -- visibly drawn and upset. He stops.

Eyes on them. Then:

MELVIN:

(to other patients)

What if this is as good as it

gets?

They look stricken. He exits.

INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY

As he walks to his booth and sits down. Enormous relief.

CHERYL, a heavy-set waitress, reluctantly moves to his

table -- unseen by Melvin as he takes out his utensils

and arranges them. In a corner booth, four big TRANSIT

AUTHORITY POLICE are having a meal together. Cheryl

looks at his utensils.

CHERYL:

What the heck are those for?

MELVIN:

No. No. Get Carol.

CHERYL:

I'm filling in. We don't know if

she's coming back. She might have

to get a job closer to home.

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