As Good as It Gets Page #9

He closes the door in her face. She stands there...

thrown by the abruptness -- then lifts the two paper

shopping bags holding her things -- walks back toward the

elevator -- pausing briefly outside Simon's door -- then

continues on her way.

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT

The doctor gone, mother and daughter arguing.

CAROL:

There is a seriously goofy man

behind this. You are not allowed

to block out that fact.

BEVERLY:

Do you really want to go back to

the runt doctors in Emergency who

keep telling us they can't help?

CAROL:

It lets a crazy man into our

lives.

BEVERLY:

Come on. Why fight when we know

how it will come out. This isn't

like stocking or a string of

pearls. You don't send this one

back.

EXT. NEW YORK APARTMENT - ESTABLISHING - DAY

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY

Shades drawn. Simon is a wheelchair... the PHONE RINGS.

He goes to answer... the phone across the bed so that

reaching for the phone is a brief but difficult

struggle... he grunts with pain, hope and anxiety as he

answers.

SIMON:

Hello?... yes... sure... finally,

huh? Why, "finally"? Because I

called you so many times. Maybe

20.

(relief)

Oh, boy... I was hoping it was

something like that. You didn't

get one of them, huh? 'Cause I

mean it wasn't only your office --

it was your home, hotel and the

cigar club you like in San

Francisco. No -- Sarcastic... Of

course. I believe you. No, don't

fire anyone... Please. Maybe I'm

wrong about the 20 times. Take a

breath...

(more)

So, you miss me a little? Hey,

strike the question -- How's the

case going? Really. Fantastic.

I didn't hear. I haven't been

watching. Great. Just great.

I'm so happy. Whoopie! Me?

Well, I'm mending. No, I look

fine. Well, some of the damage

might still be noticeable if you

look closely...

He runs a hand across his scarred and still bloated and

beaten face...

SIMON:

Carl, I need some help and you're

the logical one to turn to.

(aghast)

No! Not 'cause I blame you for

what happened. I hardly get how

you can ever think that. No, I'm

not being sarcastic.

(trying to figure it

out)

I guess because you hired the guy

who did this you think... No, I am

a sarcastic person. Well, if

you must know, the reason I said

you were the logical person is

because you always told me how you

thought I was this great person

who made you feel good about

humanity and everything. You do

remembering saying that? Well, whew.

Okay, so Carl. I hate asking but

this money thing is ridiculously

serious...

He picks up an index card from his night stand and takes

the leap -- reading the text he prepared in advance.

SIMON:

"Will you please loan me money? I

will pay you back. I will give

you whatever percentage of my

income I don't absolutely need

until I do. It will take a while.

But I don't know what I'll do if

you say"... that.

(as he listens)

I understand... yes... No, I do.

(a bit of boldness)

But you know, you know -- you

didn't even ask how much, Carl?

Well, Frank has no right to

discuss how much I'm in hock...

no, you're right -- not the point.

So... what have you been up to???

Uh-huh... Oh, the group show...

how was it? Well, I'm not

surprised that there's that much

talent around... great... Look --

gotta go... no, you shouldn't feel

that way at all... take care, you,

too... you, too... Good-bye.

(as he hangs up)

Pal o' mine.

It's very quiet.

LONG SHOT - SIMON

A lonely figure -- who now holds his good hand up to his

face and appears on the verge of enormous emotional

release -- CAMERA MOVES TOWARD him as if to rendezvous

with the moment of catharsis...

... but Simon is denied even this small luxury as the

CAMERA ABRUPTLY ADJUSTS just as he begins sobbing to

focus on the door opening and Melvin and Verdell entering

the room.

MELVIN:

Maybe I'll bring him some food by.

SIMON:

Thank you for walking him.

Simon wheels away from Melvin.

SIMON:

If you'll excuse me I'm not

feeling so well.

MELVIN:

It smells like sh*t in here?

SIMON:

Go away.

MELVIN:

That cleaning woman doesn't...

SIMON:

Please, just leave.

MELVIN:

Where are all your queer party

friends?

SIMON:

(his first shout)

Get out.

Melvin pauses -- Simon weeping... Verdell looks at Simon

with concern. Melvin is thrown. Moved?

SIMON:

Nothing worse than having to feel

this way in front of you?

MELVIN:

Nellie, you're a disgrace to

depression.

SIMON:

Rot in hell, Melvin.

MELVIN:

No need to stop being a lady...

quit worrying -- you'll be back on

your knees in no time.

Simon swings his arm and cast at Melvin -- the sudden

attack jolts Melvin but not as much as what follows.

SIMON:

Is this fun for you? Well, you

lucky devil... It just gets better

and better. I am losing my

apartment and Frank wants me to

promise to paint hotter subjects

and to beg my parents, who haven't

called, for help... and I won't.

And I don't want to paint anymore.

Melvin has made for the door... Simon blocks him.

SIMON:

So the life I was trying for is

over. The life I had is gone and

I am feeling so damn sorry for

myself that it is difficult to

breathe. Right times for you --

huh, Melvin. The gay neighbor is

terrified...

(a sudden screamed

word surprises them

both)

Terrified... Lucky you, you're

here for rock bottom... me

wallowing in self-pity in front of

you, you absolute horror of a

human being...

As Simon works to stop crying, Melvin is weird with

discomfort.

MELVIN:

Well, I'll do one thing for you

that might cheer you up.

SIMON:

Get out.

MELVIN:

Don't piss on a gift, tough guy.

You want to know why the dog

prefers me... it's not affection.

It's a trick.

Simon looks up, his mood turning on a dime -- he's

rapt... Melvin comes and stands by his wheelchair.

MELVIN:

I carry bacon in my pocket.

SIMON:

(pleased)

Oh, my gosh.

MELVIN:

(hands him bacon)

Now we'll both call him.

SIMON:

Come on, sweetheart...

MELVIN:

Yo, yo, yo...

Verdell goes like a bullet to Melvin... who is totally

surprised and staggered by the implications. True love

and such.

SIMON:

Would you leave now, please?

MELVIN:

Stupid dog.

(to Simon)

I don't get it.

He exits... looking apologetically at Simon in stoic

ruin.

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Carol in bed on the pullout sofa... She is in turmoil...

there is THUNDER, but no rain. She walks to the kitchen.

She is trembling as she drinks a glass of water and exits.

INT. BEVERLY BEDROOM - NIGHT

The room is on an air shaft and this is where Carol

shares a closet with her mother, who is now asleep.

Carol quietly extracts a dress from the closet, leaving

her nightgown on the floor. There is something sexy

here, the woman in Carol churning. She plops on a summer

dress -- no time for underwear.

EXT. BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT

Carol seeing a bus and dashing after it.

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