As Young as You Feel Page #4

Company policy.

- Congratulations, Mr. Cleveland.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Well, it's about time. Oh, it's you.

- Where is he?

- Where is who?

- Mr. Hodges, your grandfather.

- Out. Why?

- Look at this.

"C.M. Prexy says human dignity

will beat inflation. "

What's that got to do with us?

Look at it. Look at it good.

Whose picture is that?

Says he's prexy of C.M.,

whatever that means.

That's what it says, but it's him...

Mr. Hodges, your old man.

Dad? Ah, you're crazy.

Look, I'm not blind. My eyes

are good enough for the Air Corps.

I'm telling you, that's Mr. Hodges.

I saw him today with my own eyes.

Oh, for heaven's sakes, Joe.

Sit down and stop being ridiculous.

What in the world would Grandpa be doing

at a Chamber of Commerce luncheon?

Just look at the picture.

That's all I ask.

That could be a picture of anybody.

As far as I can see, the only resemblance

is they both got whiskers.

- Not even the same color.

- But I'm telling you, he winked at me.

Joe, look at me. Look me in the eye.

Have you been drinking?

Drinking? I?

I who think of nothing but success

24 hours a day, drinking?

Well, I like that.

I'll tell you one thing.

I'm gonna get cockeyed tonight

if somebody doesn't start believing me.

Oh, boy! What a house this is.

First we get a piccolo player, then

we get a fellow who sneezes just once...

and all of a sudden he's in a hospital

for an occupational disease.

And now we got a lunatic on our hands

who starts seein' things in newspapers.

By George, this Cleveland makes sense.

I'm gonna save this.

I want dad to read it.

Read it? He said it!

- Joe, please.

- So you think I'm drunk?

Well, what else am I to think when you come

bursting in here screaming that Grandpa...

is president of Consolidated Motors?

Okay. Okay, I'm a liar. I'm drunk.

I don't know what I'm saying.

But I'm telling you, I saw him today

and he winked at me.

[Newscaster] Good evening, everybody.

There's good news tonight.

This afternoon, Harold P. Cleveland,

president of Consolidated Motors...

offered a confused world the best recipe

to beat inflation and continue prosperity...

that this commentator has heard.

Yes, sir. Winked at me.

## [Radio:
Big Band]

## [Radio:
Big Band]

- Have you already mixed the martinis?

- Yes, madam.

- My husband likes them very dry.

- I understand, madam.

- He also likes them served

immediately after he comes in.

- [Doorbell Ringing]

- Yes, madam.

- That may be he now.

- Shall I go and see, madam?

- Please.

- Willie.

- Huh?

- Turn that thing off.

- Okay.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- Whom shall I say is calling, sir?

- Me.

Mr. McKinley. I live here.

I beg your pardon, sir. You'll find

Mrs. McKinley in the drawing room.

- New butler. I tell you, the servant problem...

- Yes, I know.

I've been having trouble

with my cook lately too.

Lucille, this is Mr. Cleveland.

Mr. Cleveland, my wife.

How do you do, Mr. Cleveland?

It was nice of you to come.

Thank you. It was nice

of you to have me.

Come on, meet him,

but do me a favor just for tonight.

- Spare us your political philosophy.

- Okay, okay.

Mr. Cleveland, this is our son Willie.

- Good evening, young man.

- Hello, Mr. Cleveland.

Hey, we were studying economics

the other day, and I saw a picture of you.

- You don't look a thing like...

- Willie.

Yes, sir.

My husband likes martinis,

but if you prefer something else...

- Not at all. My favorite beverage.

- Are these dry?

- Yes, Louis. Very dry.

- Four to one, sir.

- Here's to Consolidated Motors.

- Thank you.

If you don't mind,

I'd rather drink to a lovely lady.

Thank you.

- I'll take the tray.

- Yes, sir.

- What class are you in, young man?

- Tenth.

- On the football team?

- Well, kind of.

Kind of? Oh, so that's the way it is.

I used to be a bench sitter myself.

- How about a little refill, Mr. Cleveland?

- A wee modicum, perhaps.

I thought we'd have dinner

at home tonight, just family style.

After that, if you like, I thought we three

might run out to the country club.

- The country club?

- I'd like you to see it.

It's brand-new and not half bad.

Most of my executives belong. Got

a great little golf course. What do you say?

- I'd be delighted. That is, if Mrs. McKinley...

- Oh, I'd like it very much.

Very much indeed.

## [Rumba]

ByJove, I want to dance.

I haven't danced in 25 years at least...

and suddenly I want to dance.

- May I have this dance?

- Of course.

- Do you mind?

- Not at all. Go right ahead.

- What kind of barbaric music is this?

- It's the rumba.

For one moment, I had the wild

illusion it was the Bunny Hug.

#[Rumba Continues]

#[Waltz]

- Let's get out of here.

- Why? We just got here.

- Look. Mr. McKinley.

- Mr. McKin...

#[Stops]

Well, you two must enjoy dancing.

Your wife happens to be

a very beautiful dancer, Mr. McKinley.

Yeah? Well, for myself,

I think it's a waste of time.

- If you don't mind, I'll run along.

- Perhaps we all...

Oh, no. You two stay here

and enjoy yourselves.

- I'll send the car back.

- Oh, don't bother. We'll get a taxi.

- No bother. My driver's used to waiting.

- I'd prefer a taxi, Louis.

Okay. Good night, Mr. Cleveland.

Good night, and thank you

for a wonderful evening.

- Glad you liked it.

We'll have to do this again.

- I'd like that very much.

Before you go, there's just one

thought I'd like to leave with you...

just a bit of my personal philosophy.

I like a man who works and works hard,

but that's not enough.

A man ought to play and play hard too.

I have an idea that

you don't play enough, Mr. McKinley.

That's very sound advice, Mr. Cleveland.

I'll take care of that in the future.

- Good night.

- Good night.

#[Rumba]

Do you mind if we get out here?

It's only a little way,

but I can't bear to go in yet.

Pull up here.

We'll walk the rest of the way.

Just wait for me, please.

You think I'm silly, don't you?

On the contrary,

I think it was a charming idea.

You'll never know how much

this evening has meant to me.

You don't go dancing often, I take it.

I never go dancing.

Do you and... your wife?

My wife died 25 years ago.

Oh. That's why you said you hadn't

danced in 25 years at least.

I haven't done much of

anything since then, except work.

You loved her very much, of course?

Of course.

People don't love each other

like that anymore.

No. Life's become too complicated.

Young men these days

are afraid to marry...

until they can offer their wives all

the frills of security and comfort.

I don't think it was that way with us.

I loved my wife.

I loved my work.

Life somehow just went on

with a sort of simple grace.

Are you leaving tomorrow?

Unfortunately, very early tomorrow.

I'm sorry. L... I don't know

what's the matter with me.

But I've been so happy tonight...

so really happy.

It's been so long. Good night.

Good night.

Listen, don't give me that

"he wanted to talk business" routine.

Every time I want to talk

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