Ashby Page #2

Now we got Tom Hanks here,

and he's like, crying in our scotch.

It's hilarious.

You, okay?

You want some water?

Yeah, get me some water

and there's some pills in the...

On the bureau in the hallway.

Okay.

Kid.

The f***...

Kid.

So nice to meet you.

I should have come over earlier

and introduced myself.

Welcome you to the block.

That's so sweet. No, not at all.

I've been so busy anyway

trying to learn the neighborhood.

I'm in real estate and I keep getting lost.

Bit embarrassing trying to show a client

a beautiful Georgian and then instead

bringing them to a crack house.

Sure you'll get the hang of it.

- Ed.

- Ed.

I've got a doctor's appointment in town.

I was hoping, maybe,

you could drive me there.

Of course he can.

I promise, I'll get him back

for his school work.

He's told me how much his studies

mean to him.

Really? More than he's told me.

You know how boys like to keep secrets.

Well, so, shall we go then?

Ed, you don't need that umbrella.

We're are not in Oregon anymore.

- Okay.

- Okay, we'll see you later.

Hey, so...

Where... Where is your doctor?

We both know

there's no doctor's appointment, Ed.

So...

Where am I taking you, then?

Well, I thought

I might take you deep into the woods

and put a bullet in your head.

Ashby, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean

to see anything. I'm really sorry.

You know what I am.

I won't tell anyone. I promise.

- I won't tell anyone.

- How do I know?

I know there's only one way I know

to silence a man.

Oh, Jesus! Jesus Christ.

- Don't blasphemy, Ed.

- Sh*t!

That's better.

Sh*t.

Did you tell anybody?

- Did you tell anybody?

- No.

- Any of your friends?

- I don't have any friends.

Ask anyone, I don't have any friends.

- Your girlfriend?

- No, now you're just mocking me.

Yes, I'm mocking you.

I'm not gonna kill you, Ed.

I've been on the bench for 12 years.

And, this is it, Ed.

I want you to promise me.

That you won't put any of this crap

in your report.

I promise you, I won't put

any of this stuff in the report.

- Swear to God.

- I'm just going to write a report

about a napkin salesman.

- Swear to God.

- I swear to God. I swear to God.

I want you to look at me and tell me

you swear to God.

Where do you want?

Where do you want me to look?

Right in my face.

Okay, I just...

- Look at my face, Ed.

- I just don't want you to kill me...

Okay.

- So say it.

- Say what?

Swear to God?

I swear to God I won't write about it,

that you are an assassin in my paper,

even though it'd make a better paper...

- Let's go have some pancakes.

- Than a napkin salesman...

Let's go have some pancakes.

Okay.

Thank you.

Ashby, how many people did you kill?

Kid...

This is really interesting for me.

I like history. You know, I like the past.

Why's that?

'Cause the present sucks.

I can roll with that one.

People my age think that history is

like Kim Kardashian's first marriage.

I would like to know stuff,

like, actual stuff.

You tell me,

I won't tell anyone, I promise.

Ninty-three.

What?

You killed 93 people, 93?

Was there an assignment?

Did they assign you a killing?

You work as a team.

I would execute the requests,

and they gave me assignments.

They give you a dossier?

No. You get a name, an address or two,

air ticket. That's it.

Wait, so you didn't even know why you

were whacking someone?

They were a threat to our country,

to our national security.

End of story.

Weren't you curious at all as to...

Didn't you look at some of the guys,

and be like, "Really?"

- No.

- I get it. You don't wanna get

emotionally involved.

The less you know, the better.

You just want him to be some,

back of a head,

just some anonymous guy

you can just...

You'll be like, bang!

I think you need to prioritize

talking and eating.

Let me tell you something

Mr. Video Game.

There's nothing fun about it.

There must've like...

There must've been some satisfaction

though, right?

- What?

- Such a well-defined thing,

like, you get a target, you got a plan,

and you gotta execute the plan

and it's just a choice, me or him.

You just gotta be like...

Deep, loud.

- You're a very strange kid.

- I know.

I try not to talk too much

so nobody will notice, but

hard to conceal. You gonna eat this?

Are you gonna kill me now?

Weren't you ever scared?

Yeah, of course.

If I wasn't, I would be crazy.

What do you do, then?

You remember

that you're gonna come home.

You know, you're gonna have to

stare in the mirror and

you take a deep breath,

and you go do your thing.

I still can't believe that you

weren't curious

as to who you were killing

and why you were killing them.

I got orders.

I obey them.

I'm gonna tell you something.

They all had

that same look in their face.

What was the look?

That they knew they had it coming.

They all had that?

No, Jesus, no.

All right, now listen up.

We got just about

a little over two weeks,

and most of you know what that means.

We got a lot to learn. We...

Hi. I am Ed Wallis.

And you are interrupting

my meeting, why?

'Cause I'd

like to try out for your team.

Tryouts are over, kid.

Get out of my locker room

before I tear your windpipe out,

punch holes in it and play it like a flute.

All right, where was I?

Putting together a lot of new wrinkles

for this year, so we got a lot to learn...

I'm confused.

Somehow, I got it into my head

that this school was great

because it was a meritocracy

and that it embodied

what was best about America.

You know, that the cream rose,

and the best

stepped onto this hallowed field

to make magic happen.

But, it's not. This is kind of all

just about a bureaucracy,

and rules and timetables

and that sort of thing.

Because, in that case, I'm...

I think I'm just gonna play Ping-Pong

in North Korea

'cause I hear they value freedom there.

Thank you, guys.

Kid, what position do you play?

I'm a wide receiver.

Well, I'll be the judge of that.

On the field, 10 minutes.

- All right.

- Jesus.

Watch him, watch him.

Get him.

Nice spin move.

Low center of gravity.

- He's fast.

- Better than that. He's smart.

Come on, guys.

Valchek, looks like you got

some competition, son.

- Hey.

- Yeah.

Wipe that smile off your face.

You ain't sh*t.

Father.

Mortal sin keeps me

out of heaven, right?

Well, forgiveness is for all who seek it.

God forgives all, though.

He must have standards, though.

I guess.

What, redemption?

Right the wrong?

If one can.

Yes, always knew you had it in you.

Just needed balls.

- I used to think, "Where's his balls?"

- You did?

You know I'm coming to that game.

I'm there, and I love you, buddy.

I just love these slow wind sprints,

don't you?

- Hi.

- Hi.

Are you from Architectural Digest?

Because you seem to be

obsessed with my house.

I was just coming over...

Listen, do you have

the history assignment?

I do.

Do you still need it?

Because there's a rumor going around

that you turned into a jock.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes