Ashby Page #3

I assume you'll turn back

into a pumpkin at midnight though.

Probably. I'm in.

Seems weird.

No, it's not weird.

You realize I need to

see your brain now.

Really? I'd be honored.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, sure.

Music?

- You got any Pilgrim?

- Of course.

My mom is dead, if you were wondering.

She had a cerebral hemorrhage

which is a bit like an IED in your brain.

She was standing in line at

The Cheesecake Factory one day

and boom.

Where were you?

Standing in line

at The Cheesecake Factory.

My dad really took it hard.

They were really in love.

Not like most people

who say they're in love

but then really never see each other.

They were loyal and tight and...

Like they saw each other brighter

than anything else in the whole world.

He mostly works now.

My neighbor killed people for the CIA.

Really?

I would love to see his brain.

What's he like?

He's strange.

He wears, like, really funny clothes

and he has all these tattoos

but not, like, hipster tattoos.

He has tattoos that I'm pretty sure he

got in a Russian prison.

I actually really like him.

But I found out that he killed 93 people.

Lot of blood on two little hands.

Who said that?

Me.

Really? Sounded like you were quoting.

Yeah, well, I do that sometimes.

So people will put my sayings

out into the lexicon,

- thereby rendering me...

- Immortal?

Exactly.

You're pretty strange.

How so?

All right, well.

Guess... Guess that's it.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Sign here. Just kidding.

All right.

Bye.

You're not coming to practice tomorrow.

You get that?

Hey.

Howdy?

Let's go.

Where are we going?

He died for this.

You okay? What are you...

- You gonna buy something?

- Let's just get out of here.

Somebody's really chatty today,

isn't he?

Would you like an ice cream

or something?

What? No.

Let's go.

Is this a cassette?

I've literally never seen a cassette

before. I've only heard about it.

Does it work?

Left here.

Who's Peter Frampton?

Slow down. Right here.

- Can I know where we're going?

- To visit a friend.

What're you doing, really?

You're gonna see a girl?

- No.

- Did you get all dressed up for her?

- I won't be long.

- It's a nice vest. You look nice.

Look.

Like a ghost.

- Ashby.

- Pete.

I didn't hear the bell.

No. I didn't ring it.

Of course.

You want some lemonade?

Or a whiskey?

It's early in the day,

but late in the life, right?

Garret Hughes.

What about him?

He wasn't an enemy of the state,

was he?

He was an enemy of the state of

my bank balance.

Jesus Christ, Peter.

Look. Come on, Ashby.

Are you getting squeamish now

after all you did?

We did?

I was meant to do it,

but I got stuck on that Honduras thing.

You used me.

In our world, it's an office prank, Ash.

Are you mad about the money?

You want a piece? I'll cut you in.

I'll cut you a check

and we'll have a whiskey.

I'd love to reminisce.

We'll have some dinner.

Marjorie's in Florida.

So, you don't get to see her pretty...

You're going to kill me, Ash?

I am.

Over some guy you didn't even know?

You'll forgive me if I don't believe...

I don't think I can fix this.

How's your friend?

Sort of grown apart.

That's too bad.

Hey, I made the football team.

- Congratulations.

- Thanks.

- That's great.

- Thanks.

What happened?

They forgot to give you a helmet?

This kid took umbrage at my presence.

'Cause he thinks

I'm gonna take his spot.

Well, I hope you got a few punches in.

No, I kind of have a pacifist view

of these things.

I just think, violence begets violence.

Well, let me tell you something.

Beatings begets bruises.

Trust me. More beatings.

Hey, you wouldn't kill him for me,

would you?

Would you just kill him for me?

I'm retired.

That's a shame.

But, the thing is I proved to myself

that I can do it,

which is all I really wanted to do.

And I'm just happy that

I made the football team.

I don't even need to, actually, be on it.

I really do have a big workload

and SAT's to think about.

I'm really focusing on trying to

get into Northwestern.

Where did you go to college?

So you're going to just quit?

I dunno. I mean, I have to balance up

my pros and cons and look at my goals.

- Let me ask you something.

- Yeah.

Is one of your goals

to bullshit yourself into submission?

You know, I don't have to drive you.

Oh, I know. Hey, I'm grateful. Okay?

Okay.

And I'm gonna repay you right now.

Wait, you're going to teach me

how to fight?

I ain't got that much time left.

What then?

If you're going to be a pacifist

and an irritating personality type,

then you can at least learn

how to take a punch,

as you'll, no doubt,

have to be taking many.

- Put 'em up.

- That's lovely, but...

Jesus!

- Stings a little.

- Why did...

I didn't think you were

actually gonna do it.

Slip to the right. All right.

Don't be a b*tch.

Slip to the right. Come on.

Relax. Just focus.

I'm not relaxed.

I'm not gonna focus. Okay?

You're hitting me in the face.

How's that supposed to make me relax?

Jesus! I'm gonna hit you back, old man.

I doubt that.

Are you gonna quit the team, huh?

There you go. Now you're feeling it.

Come on.

Yeah, how does that feel?

Felt good to me. Come on, bring it.

There you go. Now you're feeling it.

Come on.

Sh*t, kid.

Why did you do that for?

I'm an old man.

Oh, sh*t. Sh*t. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

That's all right.

That's good.

You've got a good right hand, son.

I do?

Right.

Well, we've got to celebrate.

Congratulations on making the team.

- Proud of you.

- Thanks.

Any idea on what to do about

this guy that hates me?

I have utter faith you'll work it out.

You're a really bad judge of character.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Madison.

Hale, aren't your parents judges?

There are always losers

in the genetic lottery. D.

"The Adventures

of a Napkin Salesman."

B+.

You know, I was awake

through long stretches of this.

Heard you made the football team.

Yeah, I did.

Don't get hit too hard

in that head of yours.

Your brain's showing

occasional signs of thought.

Okay. This weekend, read

The Catcher in the Rye,

the story of a spoilt whiny narcissist,

with quite appropriate self-loathing.

Off you go.

Remember, you're all special and...

You all follow your dreams. Okay.

Hey, Smits.

You want to get a scholarship, right?

Yeah.

I guess, I'm the fastest guy in the team.

I am sort of your best chance

at looking good.

You think, maybe you could help me?

Hey, Valchek.

How about you stop rowing on his face.

Garry Rhodes.

Twenty-two touchdowns.

NFL.

Green Bay Packers.

One testicle.

Vince Lombardi once said of him,

"You oughta check his pants again.

He might have three of 'em down there."

Ferguson here, World War 2.

Well, he dropped the big one

on the Japs.

Look at them.

Come on.

Look at 'em, PlayStation faggots.

You are not you, anymore.

You are them.

You carry their flame.

You carry their spirits.

And you have an obligation to uphold.

Tomorrow, you will rise with wings

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