Ask Me Anything
1
Oh, you
You
With those tongue
and lips
Let me taste
Your bitter kiss
Oh, you
You
With those seasoned eyes
Let me walk
Inside your smile
All my nerves
are tearing me down
Won't you just come over here
and take away this frown
'Cause I can't sleep
Tight
I don't see
Right
I won't feel
Right
Until you're mine
Mine
I can't sleep
Tight
I don't see
Right
I won't feel
Right
Until you're mine
Mine
Oh, you
You
Just walk away
Walk away
Before I break down
and cave
Oh, you
You
It's just not fair
How you kill me
with just one stare
All my nerves
are tearing me down
Won't you just come over here
and lick away this frown
'Cause I can't sleep
Tight
I don't see
Right
I won't feel
Right
Until you're mine
Mine
I can't sleep
Tight
I don't see
Right
I won't feel
Right
Until you're mine
Mine
Can't sleep tight
Don't see right
Won't feel fine
Until you're mine
Can't sleep tight
Can't sleep tight
Don't see right
Don't see right
Won't feel fine
Won't feel fine
Until you're mine
Until you're mine
Can't sleep tight
Can't sleep tight
Don't see right
Don't see right
Won't feel fine
Won't feel fine
Until you're mine
Until you're mine
Can't sleep tight
Don't see right
Be mine, baby
Won't feel fine
Be mine, baby
Until you're mine
Until you're mine
Can't sleep tight
Don't see right
Until you're mine
When I decided at the last minute
to take a year off
before college,
I told my mom it was
because I had no idea
what I wanted to do
with my life.
She pretended she didn't want
to strangle me.
But sweetie, that's the whole
point of college:
Is to figure out
what you want to do,
to find out what you're good at,
to discover your bliss.
But what if I don't discover it
until junior year,
and it has nothing to do with
the classes I've already taken?
I'd have to start over.
Or what if my bliss is something
I don't even need college for?
I'm not going to lie to you, Katie.
I'm concerned.
Why? Tons of kids defer.
You're not tons of kids.
You're one complicated girl
who's been through a lot.
You need structure.
Are you saying that college
is the only place
that I can get structure?
Because if so, Miss Matsuo...
Katie.
I'm serious.
Here's something.
Why don't you start a diary.
Or a blog?
Why?
It's a daily time commitment.
It'll keep your
verbal skills sharp.
And it'll force you
to be introspective.
What a wonderful idea.
I was just lying
At least that's what I thought
at the time.
But I guess not.
What the f***?
Here I am blogging.
Anyway, I'm going to start
by telling you a secret,
something I've never
told anyone.
The real reason I'm taking
a year off is because of a guy,
an older one.
A man.
And he's the most amazing...
Sh*t, got to go.
You don't know
what I'm gonna do
Or what I see in you
You're obsessed
With my little red dress
Boo!
But you don't care
if I'm a mess, now do you?
Boo!
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Boo!
You're late.
You noticed.
Dan and I have one strict rule:
We don't talk
about his girlfriend...
or my boyfriend.
Dan teaches film at a really
good community college,
so we only watch serious cinema.
I feel smarter
One of the best things
about my year off
is that I get to continue
my education.
He never asks
for anything in return.
He just wants me to relax
and enjoy it.
Dad?
You always hold back in the end.
I'm sorry.
It's your loss.
Have, uh... I got some news.
I'm, uh, moving closer
to campus.
Why?
Look at this dump.
It's ridiculous.
Looks like I'm still
in grad school.
Well, did you already
find a place?
Yeah. It's great.
And they'll let me move in
on the 15th
Well, where is it?
It's like a half-hour away.
We're not going
to see each other again.
Of course we will.
Come on, don't be so
melodramatic.
No, you're not going to want
to come pick me up
and then drive me to your place,
and then back to mine
a few hours later.
That's like two hours
in the car.
And someone might see us.
Come on, you know I'm right.
If my dad would just
buy me that car he promised me,
then I could...
I could come see you...
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
We're going
to work it out, okay?
We'll work it out.
I promise you.
Come on.
Sh*t.
I'd never touched him before.
I was always too scared.
He came so hard.
He'll definitely call me
after he moves.
So don't you think it's
time to stop loafing and get a job?
I'm not loafing, I'm blogging.
Since when?
Last week.
What's your blog called?
Not telling.
And you won't find out,
because I use a fake name
and I'm changing lots
Why?
Because if there was even
a one in googol chance
it was me,
then I wouldn't tell the truth.
And what's the point
of having a blog
if you're just going to lie?
Hey, babe.
Why do you call her that?
She's 46.
What is on the agenda
for today, hmm?
TV? Internet?
Maybe a good, long nap?
I'm getting a job.
The grill or the fryer?
Ha-ha.
Neither.
Something stimulating
that pays extremely well.
This may come as a shock to you,
kiddo,
but the economy
is in the toilet.
There's 20 applicants
for every job.
You underestimate
my powers, Earthling.
Today, a reader sent me one
of those annoying self quizzes,
which are just a sad excuse
to talk about yourself.
What's your favourite number?
69.
Sometimes 96.
Have you ever kissed someone
and regretted it?
Yes. Tom Lovelace,
who was 16 when I was 11.
My fist tongue kiss.
It felt like a worm.
I want it all to end
Being loved by you
Hold me now
Make it stop
The butterflies
won't go away
Do you believe in the horoscope?
No. Sagittarians never do.
I am lost
Make me found
Stop right there!
Don't even put it up.
Have I got the girl for you?
Is that so?
Come in.
What happened to Jonas?
I bought him out,
lock stock and barrel.
You have so many more books.
I used to buy my dad
his birthday and
Christmas presents here.
He's a sports writer.
Well, he used to be.
Now he just drinks.
Sam Johnson's Book Shop.
Nice to meet you, Sam.
No, I'm not Sam.
He died a long time ago.
first great English dictionary.
Is he your hero?
Among many.
Are you a lover of books?
I could be.
Glenn Warburg.
Katie Kampenfelt.
Three days a week, $12 an hour.
Wow!
And it's butt-easy.
All I have to do
is help customers
while Glenn runs
the online business.
Sweetie, I got to hand it
to you, that was fast.
You did it.
Yup, I am indeed impressive.
Does Glenn have a last name?
Warburg.
Is he married?
Why? You think
he only hired me
so he could have
sexual intercourse with me?
It crossed my mind.
Your moustache is heinous.
I've only been blogging
for 16 days,
and 500 discreet visitors a day.
that people use to find me
are "high school," "college,"
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