At Middleton Page #7

---

I think you're a natural.

Beer?

Uh, no, I'd better not.

Good call. More for me.

Slainte.

Oh, yeah

The reggae beat

Yeah...

I'm a cardiac surgeon, yeah.

Isn't it supposed to be the kids

that are going away to college

and smoking weed behind

the parents' back?

So what's the word?

Are you guys digging Middleton?

Your kids are gonna

go here or what?

- Yes.

- No.

I gotta say, man, in my short life,

you two are the coolest

parents I've ever seen.

Aw, thank you.

Where did you guys meet?

College.

Yeah.

You got one.

So as I was saying, the

trouble with Chomsky is

he can't leave his

politics out of it.

Now, that, for me, in my view,

compromises his science.

Some would say Chomsky is

just true to his conscience.

Ah.

Advise me.

Oh, I think you've worked it

out pretty well on your own.

No, I mean, be my

advisor next year.

I will not let you down.

You're a very serious young woman.

Well, thank you.

I didn't quite mean

it as a compliment.

It sounds as though you're

hurrying somewhere in such a way

that the journey will yield

very little pleasure.

Slow down.

College should not necessarily be

about narrowing your focus.

It's about broadening

your experience.

I'm sorry, but I can't

be your adviser.

Okay, I know you don't

take on freshmen,

but with my AP credits,

I'm technically entering

Middleton as a sophomore.

I'm leaving Middleton.

At the end of next week,

as a matter of fact.

Are you going to another school?

I'm going on a sabbatical.

Right.

There's a remnant of a Sioux

tribe in South Dakota

that I've arranged to study.

And I won't be in residence

for the next four years.

You can't do this to me.

I'm sorry?

You're all I thought

about this last year.

There are other linguistics

professors at Middleton.

Well, I don't want

other professors.

I want you.

- Audrey, I...

- Miss Martin.

- Miss Martin...

- Is this what this is all about...

tea at the faculty club,

I'll let her down easy?

F*** South Dakota!

Hmm.

Okay.

Please excuse me.

The line between

ambition and obsession

is much thinner than

one might imagine.

You would be well

served to look down

and see exactly where

you are standing.

I can't believe my

baby is leaving me.

It's been a long

time coming down...

Conrad doesn't even know

what's in store for him.

He's gonna get his

buttocks handed to him.

Where did the last 17 years go?

Sleepovers, soccer games,

slamming doors.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't feel like the way

that I thought I would feel

when this happened.

How do you feel?

- Young!

- You are young.

Who defines young as

having a child in college?

Larry.

Heart Attack Larry.

I won't have to wait up

till 1:
00 in the morning

listening for Audrey to come home.

I won't have to

fumigate his room twice a year.

Yeah...

Please, come on.

Hi, it's Edith. Leave a message.

I'll call you back.

It's okay, George.

- I still respect you.

- Mm.

Yeah, I respect you, too, George.

You know, I'd let you

dig around in my chest.

Of course, not today,

but, you know...

George, can I tell you a story?

When I was a kid, we had this dog.

This dog had a ball sack...

oh, yeah...

that was abnormally large.

When I say large,

I mean it looked like

somebody had grabbed him

and just shoved two Crenshaw

melons inside of his nut sack.

Anyway, one day the

dog got sick, okay?

It had a liver thing or something.

And the sicker the dog got,

the smaller

the ball sack got.

Hmm.

The vet says he's never

seen anything like it.

You know what I think, George?

The ball sack

is life.

Hmm.

The ball sack is life.

Exactly.

I was sure that there was gonna be

a point in there somewhere, but...

Yeah.

- The ball sack is life.

- The ball sack is life.

The ball sack is life.

Come on, let's go! Come on!

Yo, it's Fountain Friday?

Oh, yeah.

- It's Fountain Friday?

- Yes.

Are you guys in?

By my count, it's Fountain Friday,

so get in that water,

all you crazy kids,

and don't forget your sunscreen.

Now to play some music

for all you revelers

is our guest DJ Con Fab.

That's Con for Conrad

and Fab for "fabulous."

Take it away, pilgrim.

Um, this is for all you

reluctant Middletonians

who are thinking about not

getting in that fountain today.

Do yourselves a favor,

get in the water now.

You might be thinking it's

too uncool or stupid,

but you'll never know how

you really feel about it

until you jump in.

Go ahead.

Give it a chance.

And, hey, you just might like it.

This is usually where

we play a song.

I've got a little over six million.

Help yourself.

Um...

Not bad, kid.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

That's my son.

That's Conrad.

Would you rather be more

than the things that you say

Just be the words that you

sing to yourself in your head

When nobody's around?

Or would you rather be

a part of the crowd

Or just a single sound

Waiting to be heard?

Do you know what I mean?

Well, you could be

one of the lovers or liars

Hiding all the things they do

on the back of their hands

Well, it's just you and me

'Cause everybody's got

a little wrong

In all the right places

Just depends on

where you are...

Come on.

You were so right.

About what?

About everything.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry

about what happened today.

Yeah, me, too.

I was wrong about this place.

I think I could go here.

Well, you couldn't

pay me to go here.

Bad day, huh?

Catastrophic.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's not your fault.

I like you better

without the leash.

Not yet.

I... I don't think we can...

Yeah. No.

I thought you fixed hearts.

It ends badly, doesn't it?

What do you mean?

The French movie...

it ends badly.

That's what makes it so special.

Well, this can't be good.

Hey, what happened to you?

I mean, where have you been?

Why haven't you answered my calls?

Here.

Okay.

Let's go.

I need you to drive.

Should I take 90 or Highway 2?

What happened to your glasses?

Mom.

We're gonna be okay.

You were right.

Middleton's not so bad.

Let's take the long way home.

Rate this script:1.5 / 2 votes