At War with the Army Page #7

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office, just for a minute.

NO! There's too much traffic in there.

Please Millie.

Come in.

Victor Puccinelli. I have a few

questions to ask you.

Helen, listen.

And the first one has to do with

Jack Edwards.

Oh if that's all that's bothering you.

- Listen Cutie.

- Please Millie.

Who was that girl?

Mrs. Caldwell, the Captain's wife.

If you send Jack Edwards out of this camp,

you can consider our relationship at an end.

Oh you wouldn't do that, would you

honey?

On the contrary. I'm not sure I'm in love with either

one of you. Well, I want to be fair to you both.

- Now look...

- Good-afternoon Sergeant.

Captain Caldwell, Miss Palmer, I'd

like to have you meet her.

-How do you do?

- How do you do?

Captain, I think you are wanted

down at battalion headquarters.

Can I help you?

Lt. Davenport!

Now wait a minute. Don't mix me

up in this.

- Maybe I'd better leave.

- No! One moment.

You've made a startling recovery,

haven't you?

I don't know what you're talking about.

-Sergeant Puccinelli.

- Yes sir.

There he is. Corwin, come in here.

Sit down young lady.

- Can you explain.... -First Class

Corwin reporting as ordered sir.

Can you kindly explain why this young lady

is sitting here completely recovered...

...and you're about

and you're about to start an

emergency furlow?

Recovered sir? What was wrong

with her?

Don't try to be funny.

I don't understand Captain. I never

saw that woman before last night.

You never saw her before last night?

- No!

- Then why do you think you're getting this furlow?

Cause my wife had a baby.

Your wife had a baby.

Yes sir. Here's a telegram I got.

Well, I think I get this now.

-Do you know him?

- No, but he's cute.

- Here's your furlow.

- Take it and get out. Thank-you Captain. Yes sir.

- And give my love to the baby.

- Yes sir, I will sir. Thank-you Captain. Good-bye.

Now young lady....

Where is everybody? Sergeant

Puccinelli.

Yes sir.

Do you realize that this whole mess

is still up in the air? Corwin wasn't the man.

He wasn't sir?

I can't understand your attitude lately.

I guess I'll have to take care of this

myself.

Give me the company roster with

the physical descriptions of the men.

Yes sir.

Well, I suppose we should introduce

ourselves. I'm Helen Palmer and this is ah....

Captain Caldwell's wife.

And, who are you?

I'm not quite sure.

The Captain would like to see you.

Me? Oh, but I was just in there.

Ernie Caldwell! What's the

meaning of this?

She was introduced to me as your wife.

Now wait a minute.

What do you mean when you said

you had just been in here?

I was just in here. I was here last

night too.

The desk was here, there was a

chair there and over there.....

Now darling, this is an army matter.

This is not your affair.

Now young lady, what's the

meaning of this.

- Captain, I can.....

- Sergeant Puccinelli.

-Ernie Caldwell! Can't you stay

outside until this is settled?

If there's anything going on, I want

to know about it.

Then let's both get outside and I'll

try to explain.

- I don't understand...

- But Captain.

Oh come on Millie, let's get out of here.

But I still don't understand.

Why is everybody picking on me?

Hi ya Cutie! Well honey, what are

you doing here?

I was worried. I came over here to

ask Vic about you going on that shipment.

Oh don't worry. Cutie will see that I

don't go.

Come on, why don't you give up?`

You can't win.

Puccinelli, we have something that

must be settled.

Now just a minute. For 5 years this army

has been deciding things for me to do...

But I'm in the driver's seat this time. I don't

want to be a warrant-officer. I want to go overseas.

I want to get away from everything.

Away from all this.

That sir is something else I'm

deciding. I'm busting myself.

- You can't do that.

- I can't, but you can do it for me. Watch.

- Oh honey.

- Ernie!

- What did you call him?

- Ernie.

- Did he say he was Ernie Caldwell?

- Yes.

- Then there is something.....

- Ladies, please!

Now if you'll just wait dear.

Is he the man you have been going

steady with?

- No, I only met him last night.

- Last night?

Oh I think this whole thing is silly.

Let's get out of here.

Now then Miss. You must have

gone out with another in this company?

Present sir!

So it's you Puccinelli. Well, I'm going

to give you exactly what you asked for.

You'll be reduced to private and

shipped overseas.

Thank-you sir.

And don't think this relieves you of your

responsibilities to this woman you are married to.

- Married to me?

- Now don't deny it.

Oh but he isn't. I'm already

married, to someone else.

John Slaker. Has been since a

week after I broke up with Vic.

Well what have you been looking

for me for?

Because I want to tell you not

to come and

see me tonight, like you

promised 4 months ago.

Before John and I were married.

You won't come, will you?

Holy Toledo, no!

I'm so glad. My husband might not

understand.....

....he's not very bright and I don't

want to cause any trouble.

Oh well, good-bye and thanks so much.

- Don't think that this will clear you.

-We're still busting you.

Okay, so I'm busted. For once I've

beaten the army.

While all these other guys are

rotting here in the states....

.,...I'll be on the other side and the army

had nothing to do with it. I did it all myself.

- What the devil is that?

- I don't know sir.

It sounds like a special call.

Captain Caldwell. Have you heard the news. All

movements, transfers and furlows have been cancelled.

- Movements cancelled.

- Sure.

Sure, the whole outfit is going

overseas.

- But darling, why didn't you?

- Sally never told me.

Ernie Caldwell. Step into my office.

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

Let go of me.

Serg, I just caught this man trying to

sneak off the boat.

Don't bother me, I'm out of business.

Sneak off the boat nothing. I've got

a furlow. I've got to see my baby.

-You ain't got no furlow.

- I have!

- No you don't.

- I have!

QUIET!

- All furlows is cancelled.

-Cancelled!?

Right, the whole division is going overseas.

- OVERSEAS!?

Wait a minute, you too.

That's right. Come on Private Puccinelli.

Join your buddy. Let's be getting on the ball.

- Pick it up.

- Pick what up?

The suitcase.

Private Puccinelli.

Vic.

I'll take it.

- What?

- The bag.

Nah, come on. I'll take it.

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