At War with the Army Page #6

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All right, come on. Come out fresh,

keep moving.

Hey Corwin, come out. You're beginning

to fall back. Let's get out of there.

All right come on, keep crawling.

All right let's go. Stay with it.

Come on let's go. You're holding it

up there.

Come on Corwin, let's go. You're holding

up the detail. All the guys are waiting.

On this side Corwin, are you crazy?

On this side! Stay here now!

Come on, you can do it.

Taken like a bird.

Corwin!

- Yes Serg?

- You've got to stop this clowning.

All right you guys, keep it low.

Corwin!

What happened to Corwin?

Corwin!

Okay, let's go. You're holding it up.

Look alive there.

All right you guys. Come on now,

come on.

Keep moving. What are you doing

up there? Mailing letters?

Corwin...

Hey Corwin you all right?

Water! Get some water! Hurry up!

Here you are Serg. What do I do

with it?

Let him have it.

Wait a second. Now take it easy.

Come on. You all right Corwin?

Well I'm glad to see that they finally

fixed that soft drink machine.

Well, I think I'll go in there and take

care of that supply sergeant now.

You know, he turns the same

articles in for salvage over and over again.

You'd think he was going to open up

and army and navy store.

As you were.

-Sergeant Miller?

- Yes Sergeant?

- Hey where's Sergeant Puccinelli?

- I don't know.

Boy he's sure in trouble again.

The Colonel's after him, the

Captain's after him and Millie's after him.

I wouldn't trade places with him with

14 points.

I see that you took care of that

supply situation to your satisfation.

Yes sir!

I don't think we'll have anymore

trouble with Sergeant Miller.

Boy that was close! The Colonel

almost had me that time.

- Got a cigarette.

- Yeah, sure Serg. Here, roll your own.

That'll be all Sergeant Miller.

What's Miller featuring today?

- 40. medium?

- Yep.

Yes sir?

Have you made any progress

finding out about that girl?

- What girl? - The one who was

in the orderly room yesterday.

Oh yes sir. I have a hunch sir.

I want to see that man as soon as

possible.

Yes sir.

- Hey where's Corwin?

- He's in the rec hall rehearsing.

Rehearsing for what? How to

become a mental case?

- Okay, come on, let's go.

- Where?

- To see Captain Caldwell.

- What'd I do now?

- You'll find out and I'm delivering

you C.O.D. - What about the number?

- What number?

- You promised Pokey you'd do it.

Well tell him to get with it, but hurry up.

All right, go ahead, ask him.

But watch how you ask him. In a

nice way. Use a little diplomacy.

You say:
Pokey, will you play a

song for Vic and I, we're going to dance.

Cause you and me Alvin. We're going together

a long, long time. You and me, we're friends right?

So go ahead and ask Pokey. So go ahead

and ask him and I'll wait too. Go ahead.

You say:
Pokey, play some music for Vic

and I. Go ahead. What are you waiting for?

Alright!!

I forgot what I was going to ask him now.

Oh yeah! Pokey, will you play this dance

song so that Vic and I can do this together?

- Sure.

- Thanks a heap.

-Old song and dance?

-Old song and dance?

No, the whole band, they should

play it together.

What are you waiting for?

Look buster, I don't do it unless the

Sergeant tells me.

Okay folks.

All right folks, let's quiet down now .

We'd like to present First Sergeant Victor

Puccinelli and Private First Class, Alvin Corwin.

Doing their impression of two great

personalities.

Well, top of the morning to you

friend.

How are you me boy?

I just thought I'd stop over now son,

and let you know that....

I don't knock the idea of you leaving

in St. Dominique's charge.

Well I kind of hate to see you leave

the place too padre.

- I was just wondering if I might ask a wee

bit of a favor son. -Well, go right ahead.

I would love you to sing one of me old Irish

lullabyes. Just once now, before you go.

Now which little lrish lullabye you

thinking about?

The one you did that night I was so sick in bed

son. You remember that one, now don't you lad?

Well, couldn't rightly do it for you tonight Padre,

for I got to have music behind me, you know that.

But I've got a musicbox with me.

Won't you try now son?

- It should be a pleasure to do it for you.

- Just open it wide open.

Sir, would you still like to see the man I spoke

to you about? The one that caused all the trouble.

- Most definetly!

- Yes sir.

Corwin...

Come here.

Private First Class Corwin reporting

sir, as ordered.

At ease.

Corwin...

What's your first name?

- Alvin.

- Alvin?

Yes sir.

Alvin, bringing children into the

world is a solemn matter.

Solemn sir? I didn't think it was so

solemn.

That's the trouble.

Sometimes we don't realize it until

it's too late.

Now, what do you intend to do

about this matter?

Nothing sir. Everything been done

already.

That's the wrong attitude entirely.

-Aren't you ashamed?

- No sir. I'm very proud.

Proud?

Yes sir. We wanted a baby, so we

got a baby.

- You wanted a baby?

- Yes sir.

But don't you understand? You

can't let this baby grow up without a name.

I know. We'll think of a name for it.

That's not what I mean.

Now Corwin, listen to me closely.

Do you have any love for this

woman?

- Yes sir. I love her very much.

- Then my job should be simple.

I'm going to give you a three-day pass, so that

you can go to this girl and do right by her.

Oh thank-you sir.

But understand, this pass is only to

give this baby a name.

Three-day pass to think of a

name...

I know sir, we'll name it after you.

That's not necessary.

But I'll tell you this: when the baby is born,

I'll see to it that you get an emergency furlow.

But sir I..... No buts about it!

Get into class A uniform.

- Yes sir.

Puccinelli. I've decided to give

Corwin a three-day pass.

Pass? But Captain, after what he

did?

Well I have to give him a pass, so

he can get married.

Get married? What for?

Puccinelli. Is this or is this not the

man who is in trouble?

Sir, yes sir! He's in trouble all right. What

he means is, the baby's already been born.

- Is that right Corwin?

- Ah, yes sir.

Yes mam', yes sergeant.

Oh, that's different. Give me that pass.

- Oh but Captain!

- We'll give you an emergency furlow.

Oh thank-you.

Get this Corwin, you'd better bring

back a marriage certificate.

Oh that's easy. I got one in the

barracks.

He doesn't mean his own sir. One of

the boys has one tacked up on the wall.

Corwin, you'd better get ready to go.

Yes Sergeant.

- Well I'm off to battalion.

- Sir, do you want me type up furlow papers?

No, I'll have it done at

headquarters. I want to push it right through.

Clark, don't leave me here alone.

- Cutie!

- Millie, what a surprise to see you here.

Well, I've been trying so hard to see you.

Millie, come here.

- Now tell me the truth.

- Are you going to have.... Yes Vic.

Where did you hear?

Where did I hear? Well it's

practilly a coast to coast hook-up.

Look honey. Step into the Captain's

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