Atak paniki Page #2

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Guess.

Speed it up. What's your deal?

I can't talk right now.

My deal is, that you're gone.

What?

- Because you're getting an air raid.

- What air raid?

What do you think, you idiot?

You work for a catering company.

You have a wedding to get through today,

am I right?

How do you know?

I've been looking for you, my friend.

You wrote it on your wall, I quote:

"Another all-nighter today.

Hate this job."

Watch out what you post on Facebook.

What do you want?

- I want you to apologize.

- For what?

- For being a cocksucking douche.

- You're out of your f***ing mind.

Don't use voice deformation, you c*nt.

Every kid knows how to do that voice.

Later, d*ckhead.

Hello?

Then don't answer.

He keeps asking about things.

I have to answer.

Pretend you're asleep.

Easy to say.

Jesus, what am I supposed to do?

Where the f*** have you been?

We're running late.

- Can I use the Internet around here?

- How should I know? Ask the boss.

- Plates!

- It'll melt.

Put it in the freezer.

- It's full.

- Boss, can I go online for a sec?

What the heck for?

I need to check something.

Check what?

This one important thing.

Are you bored?

No, boss, it's serious business.

Are you bored?

Come on, boss...

Answer my question.

Hey boss, take it easy on him.

I'm not talking to you.

Answer me.

I'm not bored.

Maybe this is your wedding?

No.

No? It's not your wedding?

Then whose is it?

Theirs.

You're gonna stand here

talking bullshit?

Or will you start serving the guests?

Now f*** off!

"The clock is ticking."

I want to kill people when I hear that.

I know it's ticking.

It's ticking for everybody.

And what if I don't want to have kids?

Or I have nobody to have them with.

"Well, you need to find someone."

And that someone means anyone.

He can be brainless,

as long as he's full of semen.

And loaded. Ideal situation.

Clever, sly, with tons of sperm,

a lifelong supply.

Money and sperm. Yeah!

Sorry, I'm rambling.

Tell me, what have you been up to?

Jesus, I forgot, sorry.

- What's it for?

- My head.

Anxiety, that sort of stuff.

But it's really light.

I don't feel the difference.

I feel it when I stop taking it.

Want some?

No, thanks.

What have you got?

Paroxetine.

Been there, done that.

Now I'm on...

I forgot the name.

You?

God, since when?

Sorry, it's been a crazy day today.

Bachelor party?

Almost. Conference.

Conference? What kind?

Medical, I think...

Can I help you with anything else?

And how would you like to help?

- With another bottle of wine maybe?

- Then I guess you can help.

- At least I need help.

- Me too.

Help.

- Jesus, Andrzej.

- Quiet, be quiet...

I think I'm gonna die.

I see you've already been served...

One moment, please!

Could we have that fresh ground pepper?

Fresh ground, of course.

- Where is he? It'll be cold.

- I asked for pepper.

Pepper, pepper... the grainy one.

It's called fresh ground pepper,

dumbass.

Pepper for you, sir.

Does he disappear often?

- He'll be back in a sec.

- Not too often, I hope.

Enough, enough.

I'd like some, too.

There you go.

Thank you.

- Jesus Christ...

- It's alright...

- Do you have a towel or something?

- It's alright.

It's good luck.

I'll wipe it up, no worries.

Could you bring me another glass?

He'll bring a new one.

It's over.

What?

I think this man is dead.

What are you talking about?

Poke him, maybe he's asleep.

No, he's not asleep.

His eyes are open.

Be quiet!

Shut up, you're making a scene.

We can't be sure yet.

Quiet.

Someone will come over.

He'll be back. Don't worry.

Why aren't you eating?

I lost my appetite

along with the groom.

Where is he?

I don't know, mom.

Maybe he's on the phone somewhere.

I meant the waiter.

Okay, man... let's say

I do recognize you.

You're Nemixar, right?

We had a small misunderstanding once...

But come on, when was that? A year ago?

We had an alliance, a**hole. Remember?

Actually no, I don't remember that.

Just that we had this stupid fight.

You were supposed to send back up

and you attacked me yourself.

But when was this, man. A year ago?

Let's not f*** each other over now.

We can figure out a new alliance.

It's totally worth it, dude.

You'll get plus five to diplomacy.

F*** diplomacy.

Fine. This is my last offer.

And I don't give a f*** after that.

I'll give you a business deal

and monopoly on querkian mineral.

Take it or leave it.

What's your bet?

What?

What specialization?

Urologists?

No, too easy.

Who gets it first, wins.

- Oh f***.

- What?

- No, nothing...

- What?

Don't turn around.

This guy looks exactly like my ex.

- Which one?

- Don't turn around!

I'll tell you,

just don't turn around.

- OK.

- I'll describe him to you...

...and you'll turn around

as if looking at something else.

Alright?

- Sh*t!

- What?

Don't turn around.

It's him.

Who?

Animal behaviorists' conference. I win.

We switch places as a reward.

Come on, quick. Before he notices me.

Which one is he?

Sebastian Kamil.

That's his name.

Kamil

is his actual last name.

God, that was bad.

I even turned him into a serial killer.

You haven't read it.

I mean it's not in print yet.

Maybe September.

"Friday night, Monday morning."

That's the title.

Anyways, crazy stuff

happens in the end.

As always.

And I won't say another word.

I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Maybe you'll read it.

So you think this is a...

An animal behaviorists' conference, yes.

One hundred percent.

Sorry. Want it back?

No, help yourself.

No, no... okay, last one.

Answer.

No.

Maybe it's important.

More important than me...

Sorry, I have to call back.

Okay.

Go, leave me alone, you a**hole.

Just kidding! Go make that call.

That b*tch was very anxious.

She was licking herself all over, man...

And her owner couldn't grasp it.

It's not a dog vs. dog issue,

it's about the dog vs. human.

Women...

Check his pulse.

Jesus.

And?

How the f*** should I know?

I don't feel anything.

Do something.

What am I supposed to do?

I called for help, calm down.

That was a rough ride, huh?

Agatka's occupying the toilet...

What is it?

We think this man is dead.

What?

It seems like it.

Did you check his pulse? And?

See for yourself.

F***.

Stay calm, stay calm.

Can't you sit somewhere else?

Not really.

It is pretty packed...

Did you report this?

I just called for someone.

We're going to have to turn back.

Turn back where?

I don't know. To Cairo, Hurghada...

To the closest airport. Protocol.

- We have to go get someone.

- Calm down, don't panic.

We've had enough adventures

for one day.

F***...

What happened?

The Belgians.

That's today?

I'll have to cancel all the meetings.

Hold on, maybe it'll go fast.

No way, I don't think so.

All those Arab procedures...

Who, why, how did it happen?

Besides, those are my seats.

We'll have to explain everything.

They'll think we switched on purpose.

You could've sat through the whole

flight and not notice anything.

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