Atoll K

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Who has never dreamed of knowing heaven on earth,

of sailing away to a desert island?

Well, here's a story

of such a dream come true.

A story that starts in London,

at tea time.

Which is not surprising

since it's always tea time in London.

On this particular day at the house

of The Honourable Mr. Bramwell.

Your tea, Mr. Bramwell.

The guest from America

is waiting outside.

The guest from America?

Oh, we can't keep him waiting.

Eh, gentlemen?

Well, don't stand there gaping, Pringle.

Show him in, immediately.

Will you go in now?

Mr. Laurel, I presume.

No, I'm Mr. Hardy,

Mr. Laurel's financial exchequer.

- But where is Mr. Laurel?

- Right here. Mr. Laurel is...

Ah, Mr. Laurel,

we've had quite a time finding you.

Now gentlemen,

let me introduce the two attorneys

that handled your late Uncle's affairs

in France and In Italy

Mr. Hardy... Monsieur Bonfois.

Mr. Laurel... Signor Paltroni

Signor Paltroni... Mr. Hardy,

Mr. Bonfois... Mr. Laurel.

My name is Bramwell.

Mr. Hardy!

Well, gentlemen...

Could we get down to business?

Oh, thank you, Stanley.

Now,

just how much was this legacy?

Oh, you Americans, you never seem

to believe in formalities, do you?

There's one thing about us.

We always believe in business before pleasure.

You see...

Pardon me...

Thank you very much.

Now, could we proceed?

As a matter of fact

we'd better get right to business.

Your Uncle was quite an eccentric.

He didn't believe in banks.

He insisted in keeping his money in cash.

- And here it is.

- What is it?

It's money...

I think.

Indeed, it is money,

and a very large sum.

- Italian lira.

- And French francs.

And English pounds.

Stanley...

Mr. Laurel, before we actually

turn this money over to you

there are some administrative charges.

These include, overhead legal charges,

deflation and motisation,

currency fluctuation, foreign exchange

and a few other incidentals.

Gentlemen!

Here's your receipt, Mr. Laurel.

Alright, gentlemen.

My dear Mr. Hardy,

there is another small item.

- What now?

- The taxes.

To save you time

we've had them all figured out.

Including, naturally,

a slight fee for our services.

These deductions represent, income taxes,

state taxes, inheritance taxes,

death taxes and living taxes.

And a few other plain taxes.

Gentlemen...

Wish Uncle had left me the taxes!

Is that all we get?

- Oh... But you also get an island!

- An island?

- And a beautiful yacht.

- A yacht?

A yacht. Yes. The yacht is tied

to a dock in Marseilles, France.

And the island is here,

in the south seas.

- Gee, that sounds wonderful, Ollie!

- Well, that sounds swell. But...

How much are the taxes on that?

Oh, none.

The island is absolutely tax free!

- Here's your money.

- The papers for the boat.

And this is the deed to the island.

Well, now, that cleans out.

I mean, that cleans up the estate.

- Gentlemen, I bid you good day.

- Come, Stanley.

Why don't you be careful?

Take a look.

Here's your little boat, gentlemen.

And here's your port clearance.

We're going to need a crew for this one.

A crew? What do we need a crew for?

I'm running this boat!

Well, let's get on it.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Dock fees.

- How much?

- 19.000.

Thank you, sir

and bon voyage.

- Merci beaucoup.

- Good day.

- Bon tomorrow!

- Thank you.

It's a good thing he didn't take the taxes.

We'd have had nothing left.

Oh, pardon me. Thanks a lot for reminding me.

I forgot about it.

Monsieur...

Oh, thank you...

It's much too much, sir. Much too much.

What did you have to open

your big mouth for?

I didn't know he was going to take it.

Come on and let's take a look

at the boat.

We've got plenty of gas!

Let that thing alone!

Put that down!

- Look, theres a tunnel.

- Look.

See?

Let's go down.

Why don't you watch

where you're walking?

I couldn't help it.

Oh, never mind that...

Let's see what we've got here.

- I didn't know they were living underneath.

- Well, they've moved now!

- What'd he say?

- I wouldn't care to repeat it.

Come on!

- What happened?

- Mind your own business!

Oh, look!

What is it?

It's an emergency life raft for four people.

- You can't get four people into this thing!

- You don't understand...

Inside is a compressed air cylinder.

When you release the valve it blows up

large enough to carry four people.

- Well, what about me?

- You don't have to be insulting.

Haven't I always taken care of you?

You're the first one I think of.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings,

Ollie.

Ollie.

Ollie.

Take that snake skin off

and get that cargo aboard!

What about me...

What about me?

Don't waste time like that.

Throw them to me and I'll put them there.

Look at that!

- What goes on here?

- There's a man in the cage!

- I bet it's Antoine again.

- But the guy must be mad.

- I'm a monkey, I tell you!

- He's a stateless man.

- A what?

- Somebody who has no nationality.

He's not a bad guy, really.

It's just that no country seems to want him.

He'd do anything to get back on land.

Let's go, Antoine.

Don't you know it's against the law

to land here without a passport?

Punish me, teach me a lesson,

put me in prison!

But remember, to put me in prison

you've got to let me land.

- How long has he been on your ship, captain?

- Oh, months.

He tried to get ashore at Tetrokovac,

Nagasaki, Caracas, Sydney,

Brooklyn, Salonika...

Everywhere we stop.

- All I ask for is a country.

- Well, get a passport!

Oh, that's easy to say...

How can I get a passport

if I have no country?

And how can I get in the country

if I have no passport?

I didn't make the regulations.

You're not allowed to land

in this country and that's the law!

Fine laws!

You land monkeys without a passport

but not human beings!

Take him back on board.

Let's go!

Canned food, one crate...

Canned food, one crate.

- Six sheets plywood...

- Six sheets plywood.

- Sugar, one sack...

- Sugar, one sack.

Oh... alright.

Won't you ever stop

playing hide and seek with us?

Go on.

Beat it and quick!

But you two always stop me.

Now, see here.

You're probably a good stonemason.

Why don't you go and work in Italy?

- But I'm an immigrant!

- That's just it. Immigrant in Italy.

Are you kidding? How can you immigrate

to place you've left already?

Well, maybe,

but one sure thing...

You're not going to leave Marseilles

without paying your passage.

Good morning, boys.

- What'd you say?

- I haven't opened my mouth!

Good morning, boys!

- Going on a vacation?

- We're going to the South Seas.

It's a long trip there

and a long way back!

But we're not coming back.

You see, we own an island

out there. Don't we, Ollie?

- Say, how do you start an engine?

- With a mechanic, of course!

We can't afford one.

We haven't got any money.

We did have

but they took it all for taxes!

Well, don't worry.

I'm going to send you a mechanic

and he won't cost you a cent!

- Well, everything's arranged.

- What is? My execution?

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