Attack of the Killer Donuts

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Johnny. You're gonna

be late for work again.

I'm up mom.

Good morning gorgeous.

Good morning.

Or should I say good afternoon?

Wooh. Bacon.

I love bacon.

And mama loves you.

John Blake Wentworth.

How many times have I told

you to cut the grass?

It's a jungle out there.

I promise. I will cut it tomorrow.

For sure.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow.

You're almost a grown man.

And I am late for work.

Who's the most beautiful

mother in all of Shady grove? Hm?

Who is it?

I think it's you.

Who is that?

It's my mom.

My mom is.

Ok. How much?

What?

I mean it.

Fifty Bucks?

For someone that works as much as you do,

how come you're always so broke?

It's Veronica.

She's, she has expensive taste.

She should get a job. Like Michelle.

Michelle. She's like a friend from

grade school. Okay.

Veronica is hot.

- Michelle is perfect for you.

- Veronica is great.

And she is crazy about me.

Of course she is crazy about you.

You shower her with attention

and money all the time.

No. It's not like that.

She's a really sweet girl.

You'll see.

Okay.

When do I get to meet her?

Uh. You'll get to meet her very soon.

She's just uh...

- She's just a really, uh... Shy girl

- Uh Hmm...

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

Uh hm.

Have you seen my tablet?

No.

Did you ask your uncle Luther?

Luther?

You be nice to your uncle.

He's a misunderstood genius.

Alright Veloci.

We are going to make history.

Don't worry.

This won't hurt a bit,

because you're dead.

And if you aren't,

it'd hurt like a motherf***er.

Here we go.

There.

Sh*t, Sh*t, Sh*t!

No. No, you may not eat Minnie.

You, B*tch!

You...

Uncle Luther.

Uncle Luther.

Open up.

B*tch!

Uncle Luther, do you

have a chicken in there?

What's going on?

Noth'n

Uncle Luther, open up.

Do you have my tablet?

I've done it. I've made the greatest

discovery in the twenty first century.

Geez man. Didn't you hear me calling you?

Please, never enter my lair

when the door is locked.

Oh, there it is.

- No, I need that.

- Oh man, what did you do?

I'm late. I gotta go.

No. Wait.

You're gonna ruin my greatest hour.

Cool. Thanks.

- Hey.

- What?

I told you I needed that laptop

done by this morning.

So imagine my surprise.

When I come downstairs and

see it still sitting there...

untouched.

Well, it's not like I wasn't working.

Serving doughnuts, not exactly a

flourishing career move.

Neither is lying, and getting paid for it.

I'm not lying.

Really?

Really.

People bring me their broken sh*t.

They pay me. They pick it up fixed.

Not by you.

Who cares?

Me. The person who's not

getting paid for the work.

I pay you.

Is it invisible money?

It's wear and tear.

Huh?

I drive you to work.

Half the time, I am late...

That's not the point.

And the other half, you make

me take the bus, at night.

Also not the point.

Then what is the point

of this conversation,

other than you making

me late, right now?

The point of this conversation is,

I do something for you,

you do something for me.

I fix your computers while

you lie and say you do.

That's something.

You didn't fix the laptop.

Well, it's not going to happen right now.

When?

- After work.

- Tonight.

Fine.

I'm not driving you tomorrow

if you don't do it.

- Really?

- Really.

What's next?

You gonna tell mom?

And you sassing me is

not helping the situation.

How about I walk for now on?

And you fix your own computers.

Okay. If that's how you want to play it.

Yes.

You're bluffing, but...

cool.

Okay. Hey hey hey. Shh.

Let's just chill.

Breath it out.

Always the loving brother.

Thank you.

I was being sarcastic.

- I know.

- Dick.

B*tch.

Nice to be to make it, sunshine.

This thing is ruined.

Hold your water Nancy?

I got it.

It's useless.

My stupid uncle.

Here you go.

What the...

- How did you...

- I got the skills to pay the bills baby.

Damn. It stinks.

Did you take out the garbage?

I was a little busy. What, with being

the only one here, and all.

Sorry, I... I'm just having a...

Whatever.

I'll take it out.

I'll help you.

We shouldn't leave the store.

What if we get a customer?

Yeah right. We haven't

had a customer in days.

It's just slow right now. It'll pick up.

I don't know how Cliff manages

to stay in business.

Easy. He pays us crappy wages and

cuts every corner imaginable.

- Johnny.

- Hey Babe.

I've been looking all over for you.

Great.

Princess "Spread Your Legs".

Come on babe. You know

I work the late shift.

Yes. Of course.

Johnny. We have to get back to work.

You should come inside.

I can't. I'm in a rush.

Who's the dude?

Oh, that's Bobby.

He's just giving me a ride.

I'll bet he is.

What did you say?

Nothing.

I am going back inside.

I'll leave you two love birds alone.

- Thanks Michelle.

- Bye. Michelle.

Weird. I don't think your

friend likes me very much.

No. Michelle is great. She...

Okay. What else...

Dude, I need money.

Baby, I just gave you money yesterday.

I know, but...

you work late,

and leave me at home all by myself.

What am I supposed to do?

Woah. What about my kiss?

Babe let's go! I ain't got time.

I am on house arrest.

Did he just call you babe?

No.

Don't be silly.

Oh hi Johnny.

Hey Mrs. S, How are you today?

Just Peachy.

I'm going to treat myself to one of

these delicious jelly doughnuts.

My. Look at that one. That's a tongue.

I've been working extra hard on my diet,

and today is my cheat day.

We'll be happy to take

care of that for you.

Oh, great.

Here comes trouble.

Oh no.

I'm here for the device.

Uncle Luther. I am working.

Where is it?

I don't want to use salty

language in front of the lady.

Oh my.

I told you not to come back.

I'm here to speak with my nephew.

And I said get out.

I don't want your kind in my

classy eating establishment.

Yeah, this place screams class.

Cliff, Luther is my uncle. He's one of

the few paying customers we have.

And I told you not to let

him back into my store.

- It's mine.

- Get! What are you doing?

- Get out.

- Help me.

You ruffian. Help. Police.

Help me.

Johnny. Michelle.

You ruffian

Nope. Are you?

I'm good.

- You bastard.

- Help me.

Johnny. Police. Help. Police.

It's mine.

You two are useless.

I get assaulted, and you sit

there and you do nothing.

Someone has to watch

the fryer at all times.

Rule number three in the Dandy Donut

safety manual.

Just gonna put that back, huh?

I'll be in my office.

I'm not hungry.

But it's doughnuts.

It's free doughnuts.

You know I don't take freebies Fred.

Come on, you just gotta

lighten up just a little bit, uh?

What about the perp?

Don't mind me.

I'll wait here.

Free doughnuts!

Are my doughnuts ready dear?

Here you go. A dozen for the waist.

I only asked for one.

Go for it. You earned it.

It's your cheat day.

Oh well, if you insist.

Thanks kids.

Excuse me officers.

Excuse me.

Good evening officers.

What's up kids?

Ah, we have a fresh batch of glazed.

Ah, we can't wait,

we got a perp in the car.

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