Attack of the Killer Donuts Page #2

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You better hurry. This man

wants some doughnuts.

How about a cup of fresh coffee?

Ah. Actually, you know what. We'll

just settle for a cup of yours.

Good one.

I tell you what. It's on the house.

I like your style kid.

Blue Light special?

Now that's funny.

I can't believe you like our coffee.

Ah. I don't really.

It just keeps me regular.

Anything for Shady Grove's finest.

- Ah, thank you.

- Thank you.

You have a free box of glazed.

My favorite kind.

Thanks kids.

Have a good evening kids.

See ya.

Bye.

Did you miss us?

Oh. Doughnuts.

Can I get one?

Oh shut up. There's no eating in the car.

Woah woah woah. You're not

going to let me have a doughnut?

No crumbs in the seat.

Come on. can I get a doughnut?

- No.

- Please.

You're not gonna let him have a doughnut?

Alright. Fine. We've broken all the

rules today, why stop now?

- It's your lucky day.

- Nice. That looks good.

My ass is kicking in.

Damn, he was hungry.

Whiskers Mcfur.

We've been waiting for this all week.

Come to mama boys.

Man, you look terrible.

I'm not feel'n too good.

Hey look. If you hurl in this car,

I'm gonna come back there

and break your...

- Oh my God.

- God, what is that?

- I think I'm gonna hurl.

- Wait till we get to the station.

Station? This guy's going

to explode back there.

Keep it together.

- Here you go.

- Thank you my good man

and put it on my tab.

Of course.

Do you smell patchouli?

Greetings kids.

Is Clifford available?

Sure thing.

I'll get him.

Can I get you anything?

Oh no. I wouldn't get

caught dead here.

I am on a very strict gluten

free paleo vegan diet.

Flanagan what do you want?

I'm very busy.

I just wanted to show you my,

latest creation.

Lucky me. What is it?

Open it, you silly goose.

It's Fruitle Swoole's latest

edition to the menu.

Behold.

Circular Bliss.

It looks like a tiny doughnut.

Hey, what gives Flanagan?

It's a tiny round doughnut.

It is a tiny round doughnut.

You Boof.

Where do you think they get

the word "circular" from?

So what's the big deal?

The big deal my uncouth compadre,

is that it is made from the freshest

certified organic gluten free,

fat free ingredients.

Nothing less for my customers.

Good luck with that.

Anything else?

The best part.

Three fifty retail.

A piece?

You won't even sell one, you moron.

Actually, my halitosis inflicted

competitor, three dozen sold this morning.

Seriously dude?

Well. Just because it has all

those healthy ingredients

doesn't mean it necessarily tastes good.

- Try it.

- No.

I dare you.

I'm all set. Thanks.

Not willing to admit defeat?

Not into hippie food.

I'll try it.

Michelle.

What are ya doing?

Don't eat that Michelle.

Where's she going?

Don't you dare eat...

She's eating the doughnut.

She'a eat...

It's probably terrible.

I can feel it tingling all over my body.

That's heaven.

Flanagan. I want you to try

Ollie's concoction. Stay right here.

Hello Howard.

Hi.

Are you ready for my famous

macaroni and cheese with bacon?

Yeah, Yes.

Well? Why are you standing there?

Come in.

What is it?

Well, I call it the DoucheNut

It's our new free range, whole wheat,

harvest scent sugar free doughnut.

It looks like a regular doughnut.

Hmm! Impressive, ain't it?

Go ahead, I dare ya.

Actually I am not. Go ahead

and have you bag that up for me.

Take it home.

I'll have it later.

Still wondering why I'm doing here.

Johnny, why don't you bag up Mr. Flanagan's

DoucheNut to go, would ya?

You got it boss.

What's a DoucheNut?

Just a regular sugar doughnut.

Gross.

Here you are Mr. Flanagan.

Oh, thank you so much.

You're so kind.

I would love, love, love to stay around

and chit-chat all day with you all day.

Perhaps catch some salmonella too,

but I have a high yoga class to go to.

Toodles.

Yeah, Goodbye.

Good riddance.

What?

Did you pick up that doughnut from before?

Which doughnut?

The one I dropped.

I kicked it over here, but it's gone.

Maybe Cliff got it.

Cliff wouldn't bend over to pick up

his mom if she was on the ground.

Unless his mom was a quarter.

Do you hear that?

Hear what?

Heavy breathing?

Must be the coffee maker.

Hey!

What's up?

Hey man.

You're in a good mood.

Yeah? What's with the silly grin?

It's just a beautiful night out.

That's all.

Dude, you can't be back here.

Yeah. Go away.

We are... one.

It's fat free, right?

Oh my god.

It tastes like...

dog sh*t.

Oh god.

So much, smooth away the lotion...

So much, smooth away the lotion...

Aw, sh*t.

- Fred. Wake up.

- I'm up. I'm up.

- The perp is gone.

- What?

- Oh sh*t...

- What the hell happened?

This is...

Give me that man.

What are you doing?

You do you mean? I am calling it in.

Are you crazy? You can't just announce

to everybody we lost the perp.

- Procedure man

- Now we could lose our jobs.

Look, we got a dangeous man out there.

- We gotta tell somebody

- Okay, just stop talking. Stop talking.

Let's go find the perp.

Alright.

You're right.

Alright, you're right.

Sh*t. Get the door Fred.

Forget the door.

Let's find the perp.

You got to do the double move.

What?

The double move.

The double move.

Get up, let me show you.

Why does he always hang out here?

Would you keep it down?

He'll hear you.

So.

So, it'll hurt his feelings.

He doesn't have many friends.

Many, or any?

Fine. I'm his only friend.

He only comes here, because

there is nowhere else to go.

What about his house?

His parents have a sweet pad.

Have you been inside?

The place is like a museum.

You have to take your shoes off at the

door, and you can't touch anything.

His dad is always working, and his

mom pops Xanies like they're bon bons.

I didn't know.

He comes in my house,

even if I am not there.

What?

Hangs out with my mom.

Dude. That's weird.

Sha has a soft spot for him.

So, is Veronica your girlfriend?

That's out of nowhere.

I mean. I'm just curious, because

I never see you guys together.

Except for when she's in

here, asking you for money.

She doesn't always ask for money.

She comes to see me.

Whatever.

She's my girlfriend. Alright?

Fine.

She's just a private person.

If you insist.

Veronica doesn't like public

displays of affection.

Why'd you stop?

Why can't we just go to your place?

I told you, my brother is at home.

Besides, I'm crazy about you babe.

You're the clam in my chowder.

Oh, you're so romantic.

This can't be happening.

The doughnut Shop.

Welcome to Dandy Donuts.

How can I help you?

We're here for the free doughnuts.

Try the dumpster out back.

Come on.

Show us the goods.

Show me the money.

He means your ta-tas.

Yeah, Show us your b*obs.

Look guys. I don't want any trouble.

So why don't you just order?

That's right.

You don't want any trouble.

I tell you what.

Why don't go blow yourself.

I am sure you have lots of practice.

Oh ho! Slam!

Dude. She totally diss'd you.

Wise Ass, huh?

A little bit.

Maybe, you just have the hots for me.

And you want a taste.

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