Auntie Mame Page #12

Jackpot!

Pegeen, call Denmark quick

and get ahold of Yul Uhlu!

Are you all right, Doris?

You ready?

I've been ready for quite some time.

Come, Glory!

You...!

Claude! Claude! Don't be hasty.

For 9 years, Mame Dennis Burnside,

I have done everything in my power...

...to protect this boy from

your idiotic, cockeyed nincompoopery!

Now you've ruined everything.

All my plans for Patrick...!

Your plans!

You're shouting orders for everyone.

Did it occur to you

this boy might be hungry...

...for something

you've never heard of?

When Patrick first walked

into my life...

...a frightened little boy...

...hanging on to Norah's hand...

...it was love at first sight.

For 9 years I've tried

to open windows in his life.

You want to shut him up

in a safe deposit box.

I won't let you do that

to my little one.

Oh, no.

He's not little anymore.

And he's not mine.

But he's not yours, Mr. Babcock.

Patrick won't let you settle him down

in a restricted community...

...make him an Aryan from Darien...

...and marry him off to a girl

with braces on her brains.

Mame, did you deliberately

plan all this?

Don't be ridiculous. Patrick always

makes all his own decisions.

Rattlesnake, anyone?

Thank you...

...Lady Iris.

Charmed...

...Lord Dudley.

Punjab, India. June 28, 1946.

Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Dennis,

224 E. 50th Street, New York.

Dear Patrick and Pegeen:

Arriving from India, June 31.

Meet me Beekman Place apartment.

Must return India in two weeks...

... when Uncle Lindsay will have

finished his course in yoga.

- What were you doing in there?

- Just giving Michael his presents.

Look, Dad. Which is the front?

Oh, my little love, let me help you.

There, now.

Salaam for your mother

like Auntie Mame just taught you.

Very good, sahib.

- That's not a real sword, is it?

- It's a scimitar.

That's what I always say.

In Hindustani it means, "The

water oxen are waiting at the gate."

My water oxen's waiting at Idlewild,

Pan American flight 100 for Karachi.

Michael, if I could only

show you India.

The color, the splendor, the mystery.

- The elephants in the street...

- Now, Auntie Mame.

I know, I know.

I shouldn't mention the possibility

of Michael going to India with me.

Auntie Mame said she'd love

to have me. She said so in there.

- That's ridiculous. I won't hear of it.

- Dad?

It's out of the question.

You heard your mother.

You know what your trouble is?

You don't live, live, live!

Life is a banquet and most poor

suckers are starving to death.

One thing you must remember:

School begins the day after Labor Day.

He must be back by then.

Naturally.

Of course.

Labor Day. That's sometime

in November, isn't it?

The first week in September,

Auntie Mame.

Labor. The problem of labor

in India is gargantuan.

What's "gargantuan," Auntie Mame?

On the plane, I'll give you

a pad and pencil...

...to write down all the words

you don't understand.

I've been out shopping all morning

for your traveling gear.

Let's go upstairs and try things on.

Oh, Michael, I'm going

to open doors for you.

Doors you never even dreamed existed.

I give up. She's the pied piper.

Oh, what times we're going to have!

What vistas we're going

to explore together.

We'll spend a day at

an ancient Hindu temple.

The head monk is Auntie Mame's friend.

Perhaps he'll let you ring the bells

that bring the monks to prayer.

There, on the highest tower on a

clear day, you can see the Taj Mahal.

Beyond that is a beautiful...

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