Auntie Mame Page #4

It used to go:

That's it!

- An appalling situation.

- Frightful, my dear.

Where's Miss Dennis?

Keep your shirt on!

She's still making up.

She has a lousy two-line bit.

She's had two acts to make up.

Make sure she knows her entrance

is from the other side.

But in all fairness to him,

I believe she's been leading him on.

After all, she is a princess.

He, a commoner.

Everybody into the solarium.

I think I hear them coming now.

But, Reginald, to do such a thing!

To dash away together like this

would be mad.

Quite devastatingly mad.

Quite devastatingly mad.

Lord Dudley, your flattery would turn

a young girl's head.

Come now. Hurry to the ball.

If we tarry, we shall be late.

No, it would be madness.

I belong to one world, you to another.

It's better we part now.

Now, while we cherish

this ecstasy we've known.

What have you got back there,

reindeer?

This is goodbye, Reginald.

I hear the others coming.

Lord Dudley, no more champagne

or I shall forget myself altogether.

- I have... I have...

- I must say, you're the funniest man.

I have something to tell you!

I have been unexpectedly

called back home.

Prince Alex needs me

and my place is by his side.

It has been so lovely

this whole summer.

But after all, it has only been

midsummer madness.

Lady Iris, would you be good enough

to ring for my wrap?

Certainly, princess.

And get rid of those damn cowbells!

- May I help you, princess?

- Thank you, Lady Iris.

Goodbye, goodbye.

I shall always feel

a strong attachment to you all.

- Let go!

- I can't. I'm stuck.

Let go!

- It's my bracelet. It's caught on you.

- Bring down the curtain!

I was only...

Ruining my beautiful play

with your lousy bell ringing!

These are the only bracelets

I have in the world.

Enough! That's enough!

- Okay, strike the set!

- Why?

- I thought I'd give her character.

- You scene-stealing, society biddy!

You destroyed me!

There were critics out there!

We're all ruined!

Don't let me catch the sight of

your evil face again, you assassin!

But, Vera... You see...

I felt if I should make

something out of...

There weren't

many lines, and I felt...

Ms. Charles asked...

I thought you were very good,

Auntie Mame. Everybody noticed you.

My little love.

How did you get up to New Haven?

lto brought me up.

How could lto drive you up?

I sold the car.

He didn't drive. We hitchhiked.

Mr. Babcock thinks you're in school.

It's all right.

It's Thanksgiving vacation.

Is it?

Can I be your escort?

Can I take you back to your hotel?

You can take me all the way

back to New York.

Patrick.

Oh, Patrick.

Are you ashamed of your Auntie Mame?

I'm proud of you!

Nobody liked the stinky old play

at all until you came in.

Lady Iris?

Charmed...

...Lord Dudley.

Widdicombe, Gutterman,

Applewhite, Bibberman and Black.

You want to talk to Mr. Gutterman?

I'll connect you.

Widdicombe, Gutterman,

Applewhite, Bibberman and Black.

Yes, Mr. Bibberman. You'd like to talk

to Mr. Applewhite. I'll connect you.

Yes, long distance, how are you?

Mr. Widdicombe, I have

your San Francisco call for you.

Yes, Mr. Bibberman?

Did I connect you with Mr. Gutterman

instead of Mr. Applewhite? I'm sorry.

What are you doing in that hole

with Mr. Gutterman?

Yes, Mr. Widdicombe?

I'll try to reconnect you again

with San Francisco.

Let me see, Mr. Bibberman is in there.

Where is Mr. Applewhite?

There you are, Mr. Applewhite!

There's no such place as San Francisco.

Please!

Roller-skate lady.

Where is the roller-skate lady?

That stupid clerk sent me

two left skates.

Does Macy think my son

has two left feet?

If you'll just be patient, madam.

Where is the roller-skate lady?

- I don't know how I got in Tinkertoys.

- I want a pair of skates.

One moment. Oh, Mr. Loomis!

Will you help me with my sales slip?

Why don't you let me

send these COD?

- Then you wouldn't have to pay.

- I would eventually.

Of course, but why worry about it now?

Now, here's your slip.

It's so simple.

No big, bulky bundles to carry or lose

en route, as it were. I love COD.

- Excuse me, ma'am. Ma'am.

- Just one moment, please. Yes?

Yes?

Can you assist me in ordering

24 pair of those roller skates?

Twenty-four pair!

My, what a proud father you must be.

I'm a single gentleman.

But there are tykes

at Oglethorpe Orphanage...

...that will be happy

to see that package.

That's a nice thing to do.

It's the true...

How much does that come to,

little lady?

You want to pay? Cash?

Just Oglethorpe Orphanage,

Georgia.

Wouldn't you prefer

if I sent them COD?

The nippers wouldn't think

much of their Santa Claus...

...if he filled their stockings

with bills for collection on delivery.

I haven't worked here long.

The only kind of sales slip

I know how to make out is COD.

I might be of assistance here.

- We'd get in a lot of trouble.

- I'm familiar with financial matters.

First, get your duplicates

and triplicates straightened out.

Mr. Macy wouldn't have any way

of knowing what you sold.

- That's why they have tissue paper!

- A nice, new order blank.

First name:

Beauregard...

...Jackson Pickett Burnside.

That's a lot.

You took up all that space.

Ms. Dennis! May I inquire

what is going on here?

- He was helping me with the slip.

- This young lady, Ms. Dennis...

...was having trouble with the sales

slip for skates. I was helping her.

- Was there something unusual?

- Yes, he wanted to pay cash.

A Macy employee doesn't know

how to make a cash sale?

I'm a whiz at CODs.

You can tell.

Ms. Dennis, this sales book

is a shambles!

Goodbye, everybody,

and Merry Christmas.

That young lady was doing

the best she knew!

I consider myself

responsible for this!

The thing is a misunderstanding.

Don't forget the skates

for the little nippers!

Get them at Gimbels!

I'm not finished decorating yet.

You're home early.

They gave me my Christmas

vacation a little bit early.

I'm glad, because now

it fits with your vacation.

We won't miss even a day together.

Patrick, that's beautiful.

A genuine Picasso, huh?

His black and blue period.

It's almost a week till Christmas.

But open it.

Patrick, where did you get the money?

Mr. Leavitt down at the pawnshop...

...gave me a good price for

my hockey stick and microscope.

- I was getting tired of microbes.

- Now, you know you...

- My, my, my, my.

- They're not quite diamonds.

Oh, darling, that's the most beautiful

bracelet I ever owned.

Wiggle it.

See, it doesn't make any noise.

I told the man you had to have

a quiet one for when you go on-stage.

Wear it with your mink coat.

You'll make a sensation at Macy's.

I've already made

a sensation at Macy's.

My mink coat is down at Mr. Leavitt's

with your microscope.

If we're going to have Christmas,

let's have it all around.

Norah, lto! Come in, please!

Yes, Missy Dennis?

- Merry Christmas, everyone!

- It isn't till Tuesday.

We need it now,

so let's go ahead and have it.

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