Auntie Mame Page #8

dictates is so wonderful.

When I think of the things

she's done...

...and think of the things

I haven't done, I could just die.

But it's so exciting

being in this house.

Just imagine, a Japanese houseboy...

...all those artistic friends...

...and you, Mr. O'Bannion.

I'll get it, Brian. Hello.

Hello, Lindsay.

It's coming along.

Well, it's only been three months.

Brian is polishing and perfecting it.

A party? Oh, I'd...

No, I'm afraid not.

Brian couldn't possibly...

What is it, my dear?

Lindsay feels that Warner Bros.

might pay for our book...

...as a vehicle for Bette Davis. He's

meeting Jack Warner tonight, but l...

Mrs. Burnside and I couldn't

possibly allow our work...

...to be defiled

by a movie company.

But, just as a courtesy,

we'll come and discuss it.

About 8:
30? A black tie?

All right, and thank you very much.

Goodbye.

Brian, you accepted! It might do you

good to get back in the world.

- Here's what you dictated.

- Thank you.

And here's what Mr. O'Bannion edited.

Mr. O'Bannion and I are going to work,

so why don't you do...

...whatever it is you do do to relax.

Thank you, Mrs. Burnside.

I think I'll just fix myself

a Dr. Pepper.

I'm worried.

We have little to show Mr. Warner.

We'll tell him the story. How long

will it take to finish this book?

Flaubert spent 13 years

on Madame Bovary.

- Where were we?

- Give us our last sentence.

"My puberty in Buffalo was drab."

Oh, no, no. It has no majesty.

"Drab" is such a drab word.

How right you are, Brian.

It has no afflatus.

What about "bleak"?

Bleak? Bleak.

How bleak was my puberty.

Bleak Buffalo! Hear how

the words cling to each other?

Like a man and woman in each other's

arms. Listen to the words sing!

How bleak was my puberty!

I'm sorry.

Come, Mame. Let us lie down in front

of the fire and stare at the flames.

It will help stir the flames

of our inspiration.

Yes. Well, now, Brian.

Will the general public understand

all this symbolism?

"Like an echo from the caves

of Kakamora...

...I came forth whilst Deirdre

wept cool tears."

Wouldn't it be simpler to say, "The

day I was born, it rained in Buffalo"?

- It's drab.

- It's drab, but it's clear.

Here is clarity. I stayed awake half

the night to sift it from obscurity.

In the blank gray midnight

of me haunted garden

Your soft form appeared raining

kisses on the parched earth of me lips.

What's come over you?

Now, you mustn't!

Besides, it takes Agnes no time at all

to knock off a Dr. Pepper.

Brian, you mustn't!

Do not withdraw this wondrous water,

for without you...

I rinsed out the glass.

Aren't you neat?

It came from the fiber of my being.

That's why I'm so tired today.

You could revitalize me

with a single, motherly kiss.

What's happened to you?

- I'm revitalized!

- You're recharged.

Don't you come near me!

You're old enough to be my mother!

I'm going to your room...

I mean, my room. Ito!

- You'll kill yourself.

- What a way to die. I'm mad for you.

You've poured your strength into me.

And I want to pour it right back.

This is ridiculous.

It's like having a crush

on your teacher. Or your analyst.

Stop it!

Hello, anybody?

Patrick.

Hello, Auntie Mame.

- Hello, Dennis.

- I'm so glad to see you, darling.

Mrs. Burnside and I were

just working on the book.

- I bet that's gonna be some book.

- Why are you home from school?

I had to talk to you.

You have things to talk about.

I'll go to my room and change.

- His room? Is he living here?

- Of course.

He was living in some miserable flat.

Since we're working together

night and day...

Let me tell you something about

that spiritual Irish poet...

You don't have to tell me a thing.

It looks very cozy.

For a minute, you sounded like

someone from the Knickerbocker Bank.

Please get O'Bannion out of here.

Right away.

- I beg your pardon?

- I don't want him in this house.

Aren't you taking rather an imperious

tone? Mr. O'Bannion is my colleague.

Colleague, my foot!

Gloria would never understand...

Who is Gloria?

Auntie Mame, listen to me.

I've met a girl.

I've been going with her

for several months.

She's a very special girl, and...

I should have told you

about her before.

I would have, but I knew you

were tied up with the book...

...and everything.

And until now it wasn't definite.

What's definite now?

Gloria's the girl.

That's what's definite.

- You're going to meet her. Tonight.

- You didn't leave her in the car?

I left her at her girlfriend's house.

She wanted to spruce up.

- I'd better spruce up too.

- I'll bring her in 10 minutes.

I'll have my face all organized.

What did you do with

me evening slippers?

- It's all right. I found them.

- Wait a minute.

If he's still in the house...

...l'm not gonna bring Gloria

back here.

May I inquire why?

Gloria is a very sensitive

and well brought-up girl.

I don't want you flaunting

your new flames...

...and old peccadilloes

in front of her.

Then why bring her here at all?

Want to know the truth?

I've been trying to avoid it.

She wanted to meet you.

I see.

You dropped by to see

that I was all...

...scrubbed up and presentable

for inspection, is that it?

Yes.

And to tell you that

while she's here...

...for five minutes to try to act

like a normal human being.

Gloria's from

a very conservative family.

She doesn't have to know

about things...

...ordinary mortals

simply don't have to know about.

Should she know you've turned into

one of the most beastly, bourgeois...

...Babbitty little snobs

on the Eastern seaboard?

Or will you be able to make that

quite clear without any help from me?

Well, it's been nice knowing you.

Patrick?

Auntie Mame?

Darling. I love you so.

I'd do anything for you. I'd denounce

Calvin Coolidge as a Bolshevik.

Gloria had better like you or

I'll bill her one square in the chops.

I'll get him out of here and have

the whole place fumigated. I promise.

Thanks, Auntie Mame.

Brian?

- Why aren't you dressed?

- Would you mind going without me?

- You want me to go alone?

- Something came up.

Hurry up and get dressed.

I am not going to that party alone.

If there's nothing more you wanted,

I just thought I'd go up to my room.

Agnes.

I wonder.

Is anything wrong, Mrs. Burnside?

- You're coming out.

- Where?

You know, you have

very beautiful eyes.

Take these glasses off forever.

I can't see out of my right eye.

Then look out of your left one.

Now, now, now, now.

You do have a bust!

Where have you been hiding that

all these months?

- What do you call those?

- Orthopedic Oxfords.

Kick them off. Now take

off your clothes. Norah, lto!

There's a man in the house.

Will you stop being a goose

and get these clothes off?

Norah? lto? Where are you

when I need you?

I don't have a very clear picture

of what's going on.

Now, Agnes, dear...

...I am sending you to that party

tonight with Mr. O'Bannion.

I couldn't. I'm too nervous!

This will calm you down.

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