Auntie Mame Page #9

Oh, no! Spirits do

the most terrible things to me.

- I'm not the same girl.

- What's wrong with that?

Will it mix with Dr. Pepper?

He'll love it. Drink!

Norah, go get my black Patou velvet.

Ito, lay out my cosmetics,

my cold cream, everything.

You see, me be Charlie of the Ritz.

Come, child.

I think I know what you want me to do.

I'm not a bit sure I want to do it.

Agnes, where is your spine?

You've taken my dictation for weeks and

you don't get the message of my book.

- Live, that's the message.

- Live?

Yes! Life is a banquet and

most poor suckers are starving.

Now, come on, Agnes, live!

Come, child. Live!

The whole place has gone nuts.

She'll never make a silk purse

out of that sow's ear.

Mrs. Burnside, I can't breathe!

Good, good. If you can breathe,

it isn't tight enough.

- And why aren't you dressed?

- I am not going to that party tonight.

Then I'm not going either.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!

Well, you can use the Duesenberg.

And I have a date for you.

Agnes?

Agnes?! You can't expect...

Would you ask Toscanini

to lead a harmonica band?

I won't take Gooch,

she's an offense to the sight.

It's good her mother, the Countess

de Gooch, can't hear you.

She'd pull your beard.

Countess? You're joking.

Surely you've heard of the de Gooches?

Second wealthiest bankers.

Fabulous estate at Newport.

This child is just doing this

for a little literary experience.

Agnes. No, no, no.

Agnes, head up, dear.

Shoulders back. Tummy in.

Agnes, tonight you are

queen of Romania.

Agnes. On your feet.

Darling, you look divine.

- Do I really?

- Yes, now come along.

Enchanting.

Golly.

Hang those furs on the Gooch. Hurry.

Auntie Mame, Gloria Upson.

This is my Auntie Mame, Mrs. Burnside.

I can't tell you how pleased

I am to make your acquaintance.

Yes. Come in, children.

Do, please.

There's some friends

I'd like you to meet.

This is my secretary, Miss Gooch.

My Boswell, as it were.

Miss Upson and my nephew, Patrick.

What is your boyfriend's name?

O'Bannion. Mr. O'Bannion.

Well, now, you two run along

and have a good time.

Well, good night!

I can't tell you how pleased I am

to have met you, Mr. O'Bannion.

And Miss Boswell.

Well, Patrick tells me

how special you are to him.

That means you're very special

to me too.

- My, what a stunning apartment.

- Thank you.

Books are awfully decorative,

don't you think?

Won't you sit down?

- Can I get you something? A cognac?

- Another hot chocolate?

Not a thing. On our way to Bunny's,

my friend who lives on Park Avenue...

...Patrick and I just stuffed

ourselves at Schrafft's.

Do you know what

your silly nephew did?

He spoke French to the counterman.

Imagine anybody speaking French

to a counterman at Schrafft's.

Showoff.

If nobody minds,

I think I'll have something.

You're at school, dear?

I'm an Upper Richmond

Girls' School girl.

How did you get that lovely tan

so early in spring?

I played hooky for a couple of weeks.

Mums and Daddums and I went

to our place in Fort Lauderdale.

I was out of my mind

until she got back.

I'm insanely jealous of this kid.

It's torture and I love it.

Silly.

Tell me, dear, have you

chosen your major yet?

Chosen my major?

What courses are you taking

at college?

Just a general sort of liberal arts

thing. English Lit and like that.

Upper Richmond's top drawer.

Really top drawer.

How did you two ever get acquainted?

Uncle Dwight introduced us.

Uncle Dwight? Oh, yes.

Well, he's not really my uncle.

But he's been a close friend

of the family since I was a girl...

...with braces on my teeth.

One day I must meet Mums and Daddums.

We won't bother you with family stuff.

Naturally, we'll expect you

at the wedding.

The wedding?

Is there a wedding?

I told you it was definite,

Auntie Mame.

Well, it's awfully good of you

to let me know.

We've decided on a September wedding

at our place in Montebank.

September?

Tell me, just where is Montebank?

It's above Darien. You'll love it.

It's awfully pretty

and terribly handy to the city.

Of course, it's completely restricted.

I'll get a blood test.

We'd better hurry

to catch that Italian picture.

Those awful foreign movies.

What I go through for your nephew.

But he is kind of cute, isn't he?

Yes, isn't he?

I'm pleased to have made

your acquaintance.

Thank you, dear.

Well? Isn't she terrific?

Yes, dear. Yes, she is.

So are you, Auntie Mame.

You're really top drawer. I mean...

Well, you know what I mean.

Now, why did I ever buy him

those long pants?

Hang on to the red dye pot. I may

want it after visiting the Upsons.

It's just what you wanted.

Respectable.

If a bit drab.

Did you bring the car?

I go to garage. No Duesenberg.

Mr. O'Bannion no bring back.

I hope nothing has happened...

To Agnes.

I'll call Mr. Lindsay and borrow one.

Don't forget the maps and martinis.

What happened, Missy Gooch?

I lived.

What kind party was that?

I don't remember. All that champagne,

I don't remember a thing.

I think we went to a movie.

Yeah, there was a wedding in it.

And Gary Cooper was the groom.

I don't remember who the girl was,

but it made me cry.

Where's Mrs. Burnside?

She get ready for Connecticut.

Where Duesenberg?

I don't know. Mr. O'Bannion said

he just had to meet my mother.

Then we got on the Staten Island Ferry

and he disappeared.

I've got to see Mrs. Burnside

before she goes.

Is anything wrong?

I did just what she told me. I lived.

I've gotta find out what to do now.

I think it's a very good match

for our little Gloria.

Why didn't Dwight want us

to meet the aunt?

We never would have

if she hadn't phoned.

I'm glad she did.

I've been dying to get a look at her.

- Where is she now?

- Freshening up in the guest room.

That certainly is an expensive outfit

she's wearing.

I looked at the label in her coat.

I'll bet she's better fixed

than Dwight figured.

I hope it's all right to have

a cocktail hour in the patio.

She may think we live like gypsies.

You show me a gypsy

that lives like we do.

Claude, you be genteel

in front of Mrs. Burnside.

That must be she.

We're out here on the patio,

Mrs. Burnside.

What a delightful spot you have here.

We adore Montebank.

Of course, we always spend summers

at our camp in the Adirondacks.

We call it Upson Pines.

We leave next week.

There's one thing we ought

to get straight right off.

You do take a little nip,

now and then?

On festive occasions.

Good!

I'll have an Upson daiquiri

ready in a minute.

I can't get over the thought you've

given every detail of your house.

We've done all we could to make it

seem like authentic Colonial America.

And how well you've succeeded.

Those enchanting miniatures in the

powder room of John Quincy Adams.

- Did you see our driveway signpost?

- I did.

What a divine name you've

given this place, Upson Downs.

- I'll bet you thought of that.

- That was Claude.

I'm just a homebody.

Claude is the clever one.

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