Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

EXT. LAS VEGAS (STOCK FOOTAGE) - NIGHT

GRAPHIC:
1967 - SOMEWHERE IN NEVADA

It is set against the obvious skyline of Las Vegas.

INT. DR. EVIL'S PRIVATE QUARTERS - DAY

The lair is 1960's high-tech. We see a huge oversized

conference table with six scary-looking EVIL ASSOCIATES,

including a Latin American REVOLUTIONARY in a field jacket

and turtleneck, TWIN NORDIC DOCTORS, and a METER MAID.

ANGLE ON:
A RING WITH DR. EVIL'S INSIGNIA ON IT. THE RINGED

HAND IS STROKING A WHITE FLUFFY CAT.

DR. EVIL

(face always unseen)

Gentlemen, are we all here? Good. As

you know, my plot to high- jack

nuclear weapons and hold the world

hostage has failed. Again. This

organization will not tolerate

failure.

He presses a button. The Revolutionary, the twin Nordic

doctors, and the meter maid's chairs tip back and fall into

a pit. Their chairs return empty and smoking.

DR. EVIL

Mustafa...

ANGLE ON:
MUSTAFA, an Arab with a red Fez.

DR. EVIL

Frau Farbissina...

ANGLE ON FRAU FARBISSINA in a severe Salvation Army uniform.

DR. EVIL

I spared your lives because I need

you to help me rid the world of the

only man who can stop me now. We

must go to London. I've set a trap

for Austin Powers!

EXT. CARNABY STREET - DAY

MUSIC:
Soul Bossanova by QUINCY JONES.

We start on a pair of BEATLE BOOTS and peg-top crushed velvet

pants walking down the street in rhythm, a la Saturday Night

Fever.

We pan up to reveal AUSTIN POWERS, International Man of

Mystery.

He's a swinger, with medium-length Mod hair and sideburns

and he wears National Health Services glasses.

Austin walks along Carnaby Street taking photographs. It is

that perpetual bright sunny day you see in Sixties movies.

Austin, bursting with life, gives a two-handed handshake to

a MOD FREAK, who's just gotten off a red double-decker bus.

Austin salutes a strolling BOBBY, then comes across TWO

BEAUTIFUL MOD GIRLS who are excited to see him. They all

start to twist to the music, including the Bobby.

FREEZE FRAME - TECHNICOLOR BLUE TINT - TITLE CARD

(PRODUCTION NOTE: ALL TITLE CARDS WILL BE DONE IN TECHNICOLOR

FREEZE FRAMES A LA SWEET CHARITY.)

In the middle of the street, THREE MODELS wait impatiently

to be photographed in a makeshift photo shoot area.

One wears a short-skirted Stewardess outfit. One wears a

metallic silver pantsuit with matching cowl. The other wears

a see-through Mary Quant dress.

AUSTIN:

(taking photos)

Alright, luv! Love it! Turn... pout

for me baby. Smashing!

We see that AUSTIN HAS VERY BAD ENGLISH TEETH. The model in

the stewardess outfit foes on all fours.

AUSTIN:

Crazy baby. Give me some shoulder.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

(beat)

No. No. Show me love. Yes! And...

done. Here you go, luv. I'm spent.

Austin throws the camera in the air behind him. An ASSISTANT

scrambles and catches it before it hits the ground.

AUSTIN:

Get these off to Fab Magazine right

away.

SUPERMODEL 1

Austin, you've really outdone yourself

this time.

AUSTIN:

Thanks, baby.

SUPERMODEL 2

(suggestively)

We could have another photo session

back at my flat.

AUSTIN:

(coyly)

Oh, behave!

SUPERMODEL 3

Austin, I love you!

AUSTIN:

So many women, so little time.

A gaggle of MOD GIRLS come towards the shoot site. They

recognize Austin and SCREAM hysterically.

MOD GIRL 1

It's Austin Powers!

Austin runs away. The mob chases after him a la Hard Day's

Night.

EXT. CARNABY STREET

Two BAD GUYS attack Austin. He JUDO CHOPS them.

AUSTIN:

Judo chop! Judo chop!

The mob of girls catches up to Austin and he runs away.

EXT. PHONE BOOTH

Austin's in a phone booth with his back turned. The mob runs

by.

He steps out, disguised only by a beard.

EXT. GUARD STATION - LONDON - DAY

Austin is jiving down the street and comes across a stoned-

face red-coated BUCKINGHAM PALACE GUARD standing at attention

just outside his guard box.

Austin mugs for the guard, trying to get him to crack up,

but to no avail. Finally, he pulls a big sixties FLOWER from

behind the guard's head and presents it to him. They both

crack up.

EXT. PHOTO BOOTH

The girls run by a Sixties-era photo booth with somebody

inside.

Austin steps out.

ANGLE ON THE FILM STRIP

Panels 1-3 show Austin with various exotic MODELS. The fourth

panel shows Austin with the QUEEN.

EXT. CARNABY STREET

Austin spots a VERY PREGNANT HIPPY GIRL with a placard that

says "PROTEST!" in a funky font.

AUSTIN:

You might want to protest a bit louder

next time, luv.

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