B*A*P*S Page #4

cramp the colon...

and eventually stop the heart.

Is that true?

Mm-mmm, not the way she do it.

- Good grief, would you look at that?

- Yes.

Let me have that from you.

You're alarming me a little bit.

I want you to relax.

I think you're overreacting.

Ladies, I want you to continue to cook...

whatever you think is going to

make my uncle happy.

And if there's anything else you need

from the store...

well, I'm sure that Manley will be

more than delighted to go get it for you.

Oh, you think he could go

by the record store?

Oh, sure.

And don't forget my Ice Cube cd, Manley.

Good morning, everybody.

How are you? Isaac, good to see you.

Ah, I don't know

what you put in that meal last night...

but I feel great.

Excuse me.

What's for breakfast?

Excuse me.

Excuse me, please.

I wonder if you could help me.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You're looking for the

classical section, back there by the jazz.

No, no, no, no.

I am not looking for the classical section.

I'm looking for the rap section as follows:

2 Pac, Too Short, the Dogg Pound...

Ice Cube, Ice T,

B*tch Betta Have My Money...

and Pull Up to the Bumper, Baby.

All right, right, right.

OK, you trying to get your groove on.

Right this way, dog.

Got that Too Short player's style

right there. Yeah.

What else? We got that Mack 10,

baby, yeah.

West Side!

Yeah, what you know about that?

Got that east coast Busta Rhymes

in the house.

What you know, boy?

Yeah, what else we got here?

An, got that Miami Bass, baby.

What you know about

that Luke Skywalker, huh?

Uhh-uhh, get it, get it

Get it, get it

Check it out.

We got the bomb in the back, though.

- Hey, you know Dre left Death Row, right?

- What?

Now who's got the ball?

I hear you.

Ah ah, I got the ball now.

You can't shoot from there.

My shot!

- Mr. B shoots. - 2, chalk upo 2!

- Tie score. - I shot 2.

4 seconds, 3 seconds.

Here we go around.

Mickey.

You all right?

My hair.

My hair got wet! Oh, God!

Mickey!

Mickey!

I told that girl

she should wear a swimming cap!

What's the problem?

Nothing.

She done got her hair wet.

Now she's mad

because she going to be nappy.

I tell you what, send for the car...

and make an appointment

at a hair salon I know.

Have them call me

and charge it to my account.

Wait, I got a better idea.

I can use some new clothes.

What say we... we go on

a shopping spree?

A shopping spree?

Today must be my lucky day!

I'm going on a shopping spree.

I never been on a shopping spree.

I'm going on a shopping spree!

I... yeah, yeah, yeah.

Would you relax?

Relax.

Stop worrying about those girls.

Because they're idiots.

They're not going to suspect anything.

No, they won't.

Look... look, all you have to do...

just be set up on your end.

Everything's going to be fine.

Because I know it will.

I already have all the pictures

I'm going to need.

Just get a grip on yourself.

You're going to be very wealthy

very, very soon.

Yeah, that's true.

I won't be so badly off myself.

Look, I'll talk to you later.

OK, bye.

Good.

Ohh, you trippin'.

You diggin' hard on Antonio, ain't you?

Yeah.

I wish I could find me a man.

You will. You will.

Well, I ain't found one yet.

And we leaving here

as soon as Mr. B die.

I can't believe we waiting around

for some man to die.

It don't feel right.

- And he's such good people, too.

- I know.

Ooh, we done missed

our stories today, girl.

Ooh, and today was the day

we was going to find out...

who killed Adam's wife.

I know. It was the housekeeper.

No, it was the stepdaughter

because she jealous.

No, no, she ain't smart enough.

No, it was that ho Jillian.

That Jillian.

She is a nasty piece of work, isn't she?

You watch the stories?

Oh, yes.

I videotape every episode.

Get the f*** out of here.

I beg your pardon?

Who killed Adam's wife?

It was that dirty,

rotten swine Dr. Matthew.

I always did suspect him.

I knew it. I knew he did it.

- Dr. Matthew. - Thank you, Alfred.

Manley.

Manley.

I'll take your ticket, sir.

Nice to see you, Mr. Blakemore.

Don Blakemore...

I haven't seen you

at the golf course lately.

Yes.

Mr. Blakemore, good evening! Welcome!

Thanks for coming. How are you?

Alex, always good to see you.

Now, I want one of your choice tables

for me and my guests.

That'll be no problem. Ladies?

Excuse me, I'm going to

wash my hands, ladies.

OK, follow me. Right this way.

Here we go. Right up here.

Howard Hewitt!

Oh, I been a fan of yours for so long.

Since you was with Shalimar

and you had the big afro.

Oh, I'm such a big fan of yours.

You got to sing for me.

- You got to sing something.

- Not here.

Oh, yo, yeah, here. I ain't letting you go

till you sing something for me.

OK, OK, OK, listen.

You know I love you, baby.

Wunderbar. The show is over.

Thank you very much.

I'm so sorry, Mr. Hewitt.

It was nice that you sang.

- Oh, bless you for that.

- Listen here...

you can't be acting like no fool, OK?

We in a fancy place.

We got to have class.

We in a classy place.

Oh, Leon!

Ooh, I loved you in Waiting to Exhale.

I want to exhale. I want to exhale.

Please, please, let him exhale.

Oh, Mr. Leon, I'm so sorry.

Please... thank you for coming!

Ooh, girl. Leon.

Your table is ready.

- You got us in trouble.

- You getting us in trouble.

- I know how to act.

- I know how to act, too.

- Look. Oh! - Heavy D!

Heavy D!

Ooh, Heavy, Heavy, Heavy!

You the main reason that we here in L.A.

At that audition,

I didn't do the best I could.

Wait a minute.

Ain't you that girl that hit the other girl

in the face with your hair?

Oh, I seen all you can do, hon.

No, she can really dance.

No, I seen all she can do.

She could hurt somebody.

No, she can dance.

And I'm the next Monifa.

She is.

Oh, you're the next Monifa?

Yeah. Look, the Mickey remix.

Check us out.

Oh, no, this is not necess...

It's been too long since you been gone

Feels good when I'm with you

I miss you

Please, no, with the booty!

Oh, Mr. Heavy D, I'm so sorry.

I did not mean for this to be heavy.

You know what I mean?

It's OK. It's all right.

No problem. No problem.

Your table is waiting!

I'm sorry.

It's fine. It's fine.

I didn't mean it.

I just wanted to show you.

We'll call the office.

Have a good night.

Diddle-lee-dee, diddle lee-dee.

- C.E.O. - C.E.O.

- C.E.O. - C.E.O.

Oh, good to see you again,

Mr. Blakemore.

Whoa, no, what a night.

Will there be anything else for you,

Mr. Blakemore?

No, thank you, Albert.

- I'll have the check, though.

- Thank you.

You know what, Mr. B?

This food ain't all that.

They should've had Mickey up

in the kitchen.

Amen.

Nisi, do you cook?

Mm-mmm. I do hair. That's my thing.

- Really? So did Lily. - Who?

Oh, grandma. Yeah, Lily.

Grandma could grease a scalp,

couldn't she?

Uh-huh.

Tell me more about her. It's been so long.

Let's see.

Grandma.

Oh, Lily, she have a big...

Take care, Mr. Blakemore.

I hope everything was

to your satisfaction.

Rate this script:2.2 / 5 votes