Baby Boom Page #3

I didn't have brothers and sisters,

so I didn't baby-sit.

Plus I'm not... natural with kids.

I'm a management consultant

and I work 12 to 14 hours a day...

...and I just really feel that Elizabeth

needs a more equipped situation.

No explanations are necessary. I'm sure

we'll have no problems placing Elizabeth.

Don't feel guilty. You're not the first

to put a child up for adoption.

I understand that. I'm really

very comfortable with my decision.

And I... It's just...

Guilt's not a part of it.

Guilt's not a word in my vocabulary.

I mean, please, guilt?

Believe me, JC,

you made the right choice.

You're gonna be a partner.

Your career comes first.

Look at it this way: You got her all

these toys and $1,700 worth of clothes.

- That's not a bad haul, if you ask me.

- Thank you for your support, Jesus.

- Hey, no problem. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

Put this over you like that...

...and...

(sneezes twice)

Well, gesundheit.

What? You're hot.

You're burning up!

Oh, let me see.

What did I do with that book?

Oh, no. Um, sneezing.

Let's see. Sneezing, sneezing...

171. Don't get sick. Just don't get sick.

One cold mist humidifier, one steam

vaporiser, one baby thermometer...

...one baby Tylenol, baby nose drops,

baby cough medicine and...

- Mm-hm.

...a bottle of Valium?

Oh, yeah. That's for me.

Oh, I ca...

Oh, I...

- Oh, boy. I gotta take this.

- (cries)

I know, I know. It's gonna be so fast.

I have to have this before I do this.

I know. Elizabeth, it's gonna be

such a cinch, OK? Here we go.

Now, try one more time. Here we go.

OK, good.

(phone)

(sighs)

Hello?

Oh. Oh.

Oh, uh-huh. Yes.

Yes, that's great. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Ten o'clock. OK. All right.

We'll be there. Right.

(woman) This is Mr and Mrs White.

Hi.

The Whites have been

anxious to meet Elizabeth.

Before we take her, I wanna hear from

you there's no chance of us gettin' a male.

The agency representative that came to

our motorhome said we might get a boy...

...so Father here wants to make sure

no stone's been left unturned.

We did try to locate a boy for you,

but there are none available at this time.

Well, then...

...she all right for you, Mother?

- Yes, sir.

- She got all of her shots and everything?

- Lord, Merle, it's not a puppy! (laughs)

I understand you bought

Elizabeth some new clothes.

- A couple of things.

- (sneezes)

She's just getting over a cold,

so I brought her medicine and...

Well, she takes a quarter

of a teaspoon every four hours...

...and I packed her spoon in

with her clothes and toys.

The clothes and toys won't be necessary.

Where are you folks from?

I mean, if I'm allowed to ask.

We'll be moving back

to Duluth next week.

Most of Merle's family is out that way now

and our pastor is out there an' all.

I'm sure Fern will like it just fine.

Fern?

We're naming her after Merle's mama.

Oh, hush, hush. Hush now.

- Well, maybe I should...

- I'll take care of formalities from here on.

You're free to go.

Oh, I am? Oh, well...

Bye-bye.

You... you take care.

Right.

Right.

(crying)

(bawling)

Just don't expect too much, OK?

OK?

I couldn't give her to a woman

who called her husband "Sir".

Her whole life flashed before me and

suddenly I saw in a Dairy Queen uniform.

- Oh, look, JC...

- Anyway, I can handle it. I really can.

A lot of working women do it:

Eleanor Roosevelt, Ethel Kennedy.

- Ethel Kennedy?

- OK, she doesn't work, but a lot do it.

You don't know what you're getting into.

You think my mom had a doctorate

in parenting? You learn.

You should see me diaper her now.

I am so brilliant at it.

I appreciate what you're going

through, I do, but for me, I just...

- Go ahead.

- I just...

You can be honest. You what?

I just...

- No?

- I can't.

OK.

- Do we have any women partners?

- One. In the Chicago office.

- Good morning, Mr Sloane.

- Right, right. The redhead.

Everett, it's down here.

The first office on the left.

I found it! Here you go.

Here you go, Miss. There it is.

Oh!

Oh, hello! Oh, hello.

- Everett, you remember JC, don't you?

- Of course. Everett, how do you do?

I thought you were in Washington.

Won't you please come right on in?

Yes. Sit down.

Um... (whispers) Charlotte?

Everett, why don't you sit down?

Oh, Everett, excuse me. So, so sorry.

If you could just scoot over. I'm sorry.

(gasps) Oh, my goodness.

I have a hair dryer in the closet.

- I'm fine.

- Perhaps a towel?

- No, I'm fine.

- Very sorry about that.

- When did she have a baby?

- This isn't JC's baby. It's her cousin's.

- She's just keeping it for a few days.

- Well, Fritz, as it turns out...

...I'm keeping her - excuse me -

I'm keeping her a little longer than that.

- How much longer?

- Oh, for ever.

Could I interest anybody in anything

to drink? 7 UP, Perrier... formula?

I hear you'd like to be a partner.

Oh, yes. I would love to be a partner.

It represents the kind of tenure that...

Oh, pardon me. Yes, thank you.

I'm so sorry, Everett.

It represents the kind of tenure

that I've always wanted.

Oh, I'm so, so sorry.

So, anyway, it does. Would you excuse us

for one moment? I'm sorry. Pardon me.

Charlotte! Charlotte.

Look, this is the single most

important moment in my entire career.

If you don't stick this bottle in your mouth

you'll be on the next Greyhound to Duluth.

Do you understand? OK? Now take it.

- (sighs) OK.

- Nice to see you again.

- You're leaving?

- Yes.

I wanted to discuss The Food Chain's new

entries in the food market. I have ideas...

- Good. I hope they buy it.

- They will. The Tiger Lady's on the case.

- Mm-hm.

- Yes.

I'm hiring a nanny tonight. She'll never

be here again. Nothing's going to change.

I need you to come with me to Cleveland

to talk to The Food Chain.

I'll be there.

I can still count on you

seven days a week, 48 hours a day?

I'm not gonna turn into Erma Bombeck!

I'm a maniac! You know that.

Yeah.

(doorbell)

Hi. I'm here for the nanny interview.

So why don't you tell me

a little bit about yourself?

- I'm originally from Wichita, Kansas.

- Oh. And what brought you to New York?

- The Lord.

- Uh-huh.

Well, thank you very much for coming by.

I've just graduated from Johns Hopkins...

...and I'm taking a year's sabbatical

before medical school.

Fabulous. And what

brought you to New York?

I came here to live with a guy,

but that didn't work out.

Then I suffered a nervous breakdown. You

see, my father tried to commit suicide...

...and when I came home

I found him at the bottom of the stairs.

My mother was drunk and

she accused me of trying to kill him.

So... what did you say

your baby's name was?

(German accent) I think you should know

from the start that I'm a full-charge nanny.

I don't argue... and

I do not like to be argued with.

I will teach your daughter to respect

a man. I speak only when spoken to.

I need no bed.

I prefer to sleep on the floor.

Well, I don't have any real

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