Baby Boom Page #7

Yes, honey, I locked it.

- Do we have enough maple syrup?

- Get a couple more.

- Oh, honey, look at these! For Lindsey?

- Those are great.

Oh, look at this.

Does this look good on me?

- Well, what are you going for?

- A turtleneck, Sundays reading the paper.

What, no good? They're $12.

You don't need a $12 shirt.

Get a Ralph Lauren.

Gail, look at this! Gourmet baby food!

- I've never seen this before.

- Fabulous idea. How much are they?

- Oh, $3.50 a jar.

- Cheap.

- Well, $4.50. I mean they're $5.50 a jar.

- Great packaging concept.

- This is unique.

- That means the way it's designed.

Oh, really? You learn something

new every day, don't you?

We'll take a dozen. And how are you...

...you cute little country baby?

- We'll take a dozen, too.

I can't believe nobody's come up with

this before. Gourmet baby food. Fabulous.

- Great Christmas gift.

- (JC gasps) Great!

God, it's the greatest

Christmas present. It is.

- Honey, maybe we ought to get more.

- We should.

We, too.

I'd like to see everything you have on new

consumerism, baby food manufacturers.

Also, recent issues of Progressive Grocer

and American Demographics.

(clears throat)

Look, I know we saw each other

so it'd be stupid for me to ignore you.

No. No, really, it wouldn't. Please

ignore me. You have my permission.

- (chuckles)

- Yeah.

There's something about you

that's kinda... hard to ignore, you know?

Uh-huh.

- What are you doing here, anyway?

- I'm just doing a little bit of research.

- Can I help you with that?

- No, no, you can't, really. You cannot.

What are you doing here?

I thought you were a vet.

- Hi, Doctor Cooper.

- Hiya, Stacy.

I teach a class here once a week.

Aren't you supposed to be

headed back to civilisation?

Oh, I'm working on it, believe me.

- What?

- Nothing.

I was just wondering if maybe

you wanted to go have a cup of coffee.

I don't drink coffee.

Anyway, I thought you asked in a way...

...that sounded like you weren't asking,

so I just think forget it. Just forget it.

Sh*t.

I can't believe this.

Um, are you this nervous

around all men, or is it just me?

(thud)

Oh, no.

"Place the jack tongue..." - Oh, God -

"...in the slot in the bumper."

OK. OK.

All right, now I got this bumper.

I'm positioning this tongue in the slot...

Oh! Oh, no.

- You need some help?

- Everything is under control.

Thank you very much.

- Here, wait, wait...

- I've got it. I've got it just fine.

It's gotta go in the slot. Here.

- Oh.

- There you go.

Yes, well, I guess I'm just... I guess I'm

just not used to this kind of jack, that's all.

Right.

You know, uh, you kind of remind me

of a bull terrier sometimes.

Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.

You do. You're feisty and quarrelsome...

...and hard to get along with.

- (laughs)

Even a bull terrier,

once they warm up to you, they...

They what?

They bring you your slippers?

- There.

- There, you got it.

Now... I'm just going to...

...loosen the lug nuts.

These are... The lug nuts are right there.

Oh, yeah, I knew that.

Is there something I've done to you

that I don't know about?

Right. Right. You don't know that

I've been completely humiliated.

Why? Because you told me

you hadn't had sex for over a year?

It has not been over a year. Where

did you hear that, at the town meeting?

- There's nothing to be ashamed of.

- I'm not ashamed!

I just really choose not to talk

about this any further. There!

If a man knows your frailties, it doesn't

necessarily mean that he's your enemy.

- I mean, I like frailties. I like women.

- Ugh.

- So you're under control here?

- Yes, I'm fine.

You and me are probably the only two

people under 60 in Hadleyville County...

...so we might as well make the best of it.

I appreciate you taking time to chat, but

I'm not in the mood for idle conversation.

So if it should happen again, I think we

should both try to ignore each other...

...cos I'm not one of your students who's

gonna faint every time you say hello.

I am a tough, cold career woman...

...who has absolutely nothing in common

with a veterinarian from Hadleyville.

All I have on my mind at this point in my

life is to get out of this moth-eaten town...

...and nothing here,

including you, Doctor Charm...

...holds any interest for me whatsoever.

So what do you think about that?

See you around.

Wow.

We don't sell baby food.

But this is unlike any baby food you've

tasted. It's all natural. It's home-made.

We don't sell baby food.

Right.

Now, ladies,

I'm telling you honestly, trust me.

I swear this is the greatest stuff ever.

Honest. Are you gonna try it?

I'm going to show you something

you're not going to believe.

Here you go. You want this? You

wanna take it and put it in your mouth?

(woman) I like it. I love it.

Let me get this straight. You want the

Country Baby peas, corn and bananas.

- Why don't I send you my catalogue?

- Great.

Elizabeth, that's right!

- Morning, JC.

- Morning.

- We'll send that right out, Mayor.

- Thanks, Mary.

Oh, excuse me, Mayor.

Aren't you Doctor Cooper's nurse?

- Yes, I am. How are you feeling?

- I'm fine. How's Doctor Cooper?

- Oh, he's fine.

- Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that.

I was thinking about him the other day,

and it's good to hear that he's pretty fine.

Well, he had a pretty bad cold,

but he's much better now.

- Just has a bit of a cough.

- Well, tell him I said hi. No, forget it.

- (coughs)

- Oh, my goodness.

Well, I'll see you later, Doctor.

Hi.

- Oh, are you taking something for that...?

- Oh, yeah, I think I got it under control.

That's good. I'm glad to hear that.

Yeah...

So, I hear your business

is really taking off.

It's unbelievable.

We have our products in a catalogue.

- Do you?

- That's right. And I'm doing very good.

- That's good.

- Yeah.

You're still moving back to New York?

- Oh, yeah. First chance I get.

- Hm. Hm.

Huh. Um, yuh.

- Well, it's good to see ya.

- Oh, isn't that something?

It's good to see you, too.

- Take care.

- Um, yeah. Yeah. Take care.

- There it goes! Great!

- You're big-time now!

It looks good. I love it!

(jazz music)

- JC. JC.

- Hi. Oh, Katie, how are ya?

- I'm good. I'm good. This is Ben.

- Hi. I knew it was Ben. I knew it.

Hi, Annie. Did you see Elizabeth?

Does she look cute tonight?

You wanna dance, huh?

- Hello.

- And how are you doing?

Hi.

I didn't know

you were a music aficionado.

I never miss a concert

my plumber plays in.

- He's pretty good, isn't he?

- Yeah, he's very good. Yeah.

Oh, so this is the famous

Country Baby baby?

This is Elizabeth. Elizabeth.

- Hi.

- Hi. Hi.

- Hi.

- I know.

- Well, you look good.

- Well, thanks.

So do you. Um, I like your shirt.

- Do you?

- Yeah.

- You want a... Oh, you don't drink coffee.

- But I drink other things.

- You do?

- Yeah.

7 UP and root beer, iced tea and water.

I drink, uh... punch.

Punch. Well, let's have some punch.

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