Baby Geniuses Page #2

Just look at that intensity.

There's no other baby like Sylvester.

Well, maybe one.

His twin, Whit?

Whit!

Mayday!

Whitley, where is helper number one?

Give me the lug wrench. Whit, hurry up.

Go! On the double!

Oh, mama!

Mama.

Listen, you monkey.

This is a monkey wrench!

Plumber's helper number one,

you're fired. Get out of town.

What is that terrible noise?

Noise to us.

But the computers analyse

every possible permutation.

What we hear as incoherent noise

may actually be a musical masterpiece.

Listen to our computer's

interpretation of Basil's playing.

That's remarkable.

It has all the complexities

of a symphony by Haydn or Beethoven.

If that's the case...

...it's possible that what we hear

as baby talk is actually conversation.

Exactly. And look at this.

A child writing on a pad, right? No.

After checking all languages...

...we found out they're writing

the cuneiform language.

They speak their own language.

They understand all others.

Now watch this.

Subject One speaks, and we

immediately see activity here...

...in the lower limbic region...

...while Subject Two, as he listens...

...is active in the forebrain.

These babies are having a conversation.

We just don't understand them.

The instant a child begins

to speak in any known language...

...the limbic activity ceases.

As though they forget.

Exactly. Bobbins was right.

What if the limbic activity

is not merely speech?

What if it's stored knowledge...

...from an early-parent gene pool?

Passed from generation to generation.

Amazing!

They may know

the secrets of the universe.

The greatest

breakthrough in history!

Change humanity!

If we find the key to the human mind...

...every child will be

educated in my method.

Every great mind will be ours to mold.

Let's get them all

into the amphitheatre.

Hello, my little baby geniuses.

What are we discussing today?

Could it be postmodern

ethical construction?

How about...

...the mechanics of human knowledge?

My little Sly one.

Sly, tell me...

...what are you thinking?

Come on. You can look at me.

What are you thinking?

What are you saying?

Enlighten me, my little Einstein.

What do you think?

Should I enlighten her?

She won't understand.

She doesn't speak our language.

But go ahead. Have fun.

Lead us through the wilderness,

my little warrior.

All right, all right. That does it.

Doc, if you're gonna talk

out of your ass all the time...

...maybe you should wear

a bow tie on your butt.

Bow tie? On her butt?

On her butt?

That's disgusting, Sylvester.

You know...

...you think because I don't understand

you, I don't understand what's going on.

Don't be too sure about that, honey.

Yeah, right. And don't call me honey.

Okay, Sly man, one.

Dr. Kinder, zip.

You're always busting her chops.

Are you kidding? Give me a break.

She's Darth Vader in a skirt.

Dr. Kinder's our benefactor.

Because of her,

there will be a new order...

...and we will be its leaders.

Don't have a cow, Basil.

Why do you talk like that?

Your syntax is atrocious.

It's because he watches TV all the time.

How does he do that?

He converts the monitors.

You ought to all watch TV.

Check out the real world,

like Jerry Springer.

And have fun.

This is exactly what Dr. Kinder...

...is trying to overcome.

Moral decay.

Now you sound like Heep.

Discipline, discipline, discipline.

Reward and deprive.

Give the babies a crumb. Take it away.

Like Pavlov's dogs. Hold up the bone,

the doggies salivate.

If they behave,

give them a little gristle.

If you don't like it...

...why don't you just leave?

He'll just take the next bus.

You're such a weasel, Basil.

Nice face, weasel.

You fool. Dr. Heep is watching.

Don't mess with the Sly man, Heepster.

We're back!

Dickie?

Where is he?

Carrie? Whit?

The kids aren't here.

Wait a minute. Hello?

Anybody?

Whit? Is that you?

What's this mess? Look at this water.

No fraternizing with the help!

Carrie, look at you.

You are soaking wet.

You are soaking wet. And look at Whit.

You know what? You two go for a swim...

...and Uncle Lenny and I

are gonna have a little talk, okay?

This water here on the floor.

Is it dangerous?

Please. The power's out, anyway.

The power's out?

Great. Where's Dickie?

I don't know.

Nice 'do, Dickie.

You look like Mount Pepto-Bismol

just erupted.

Pink is cosmic, all right?

For the last time, my name ain't Dickie.

It's Ice Pick.

Would you people get that straight?

Ice Pick...

...I love the creativity and imagination

that you've displayed here...

...but no matter how outrageous

you act or you dress...

...I'm not gonna fire you.

So give it a rest.

Love you, pal. Grab a mop.

He could use that pink one

he's got on his head.

Don't worry. He's just acting out.

We'll bring him around.

Can you tell me why

we're doing this again?

I promised Dan's brother we'd get him

through one job without getting canned.

I wish I could afford

a makeover like that.

These are the bills

that have to be paid this month...

...but this baby...

...is actually a check...

...made out to your business

for 34 big ones.

Dollars, that is.

Why don't you collect

from some of these stiffs?

Their kids spend more time here

than they do at home.

One ring off Elena's finger,

you could run this place forever.

That being said, I'm resigning.

Effective immediately.

" Ice Pick. " I like that,

but it's a little commonplace.

What about " Ice Pick the Great"

or "Saint Ice Pick"?

Or "The Great and Powerful

Wizard of Ice Pick"?

Very funny.

Seven on a scale of a thousand.

Nose Pick, let me ask you a question.

Why cut new holes?

Why not close up some of the old ones...

...like your mouth?

What is that, an old hippie joke?

Wrong answer.

Don't you kids try that at home.

Margo, don't pull

on Dickie's earring, okay? Grow up.

Ice Pick is right.

Auntie Elena should help.

You're not supposed

to call her "auntie. "

- Just Elena.

- What's it matter?

They can't understand me.

He does so much good.

I wish we could help.

I tried. I gave him

that idea subliminally...

...about a new wing.

What's that do?

Increase their disposable income

by a factor of four at least.

Honey! Honey.

Did you hear that?

Tell me you heard that.

Whit. He just said, clear as a bell...

..." by a factor of four at least. "

And I understood it.

This is so great.

It was in their language,

but that was the phrase.

Those were the words,

" by a factor of four. "

Beats the hell out of "dada. "

- You got it?

- Right here.

- He's got it.

- Let's see it.

Oh, boy, home movies.

He understood our language.

Is that all you have to say?

Okay. Let me think.

He's going to want us to explain

the secrets of the universe.

That could be a real problem.

Well, you're in trouble

again, Sylvester.

Now go to sleep,

or it's Valium for you, pal.

There you are. You got that lock?

I've got the security bonder.

Yeah, right. Okay, Sly man...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes