Baby Geniuses Page #3

...I've got that surprise I promised.

Let's see you get out

of this one, Houdini.

Dumb and Dumber.

Lock and load.

Say "cheese. "

Cheese!

We're currently experiencing

technical difficulties.

What the hell?

It's too easy.

What do you got?

A temporary loss of transmission

in Quadrant 4.

Lexi?

You're out.

Come with me.

I want to, but I'm too scared.

I'll take you to a mall.

A mall?

Really?

I can't.

Wait a minute.

I heard something. You better go.

Bye.

Take care of yourself.

I'll miss you.

Quadrant 2's down now.

Don't be late, babe.

Five, four, three...

...two, one.

Diaper Express. Right on time.

Diaper gravy.

Well, give me liberty or give me death.

Not exactly aromatherapy.

I should've taken death.

Yeah, well, there it is

in plain English.

It sounds like baby talk, but he's

saying, " by a factor of four at least. "

How can you tell?

It's like this language that I used to

speak, and I've just forgotten it...

...except for once in a while.

I believe you, honey. Really, I do.

Can I go home now?

Yeah, but remember one thing, Nosebleed.

Dennis Rodman can afford

to look like roadkill.

He gets 18 rebounds a game.

Sweet dreams, robo-entertainers.

I don't wanna hear any snoring.

How were the crowds?

20,000 maniacs disguised as kids.

How do you think they were?

We had some glitches with Bunting.

Bring up his schematic.

Coming up.

The world's biggest video game.

The tracking software

needs to be recompiled.

If you don't have any dirty diapers...

Dive, dive!

- Come on. I'm looking bad.

- He tries so hard.

I hope when I go over and speak their

language, I'll remember to thank him.

How could you thank him?

When you cross over, you won't remember

anything you know now.

Wait a minute. I got a great idea.

Have you said "dada" or "mama" yet?

No, that's so stupid. I've decided...

...the first time I speak, I'm gonna

quote the Gettysburg Address. Flat out.

No, you gotta say "dada. "

Say it. He'll go nuts!

He'll call Mom and they'll both go nuts.

I don't know.

You gotta say it. Come on, do it.

I'll do it.

Dada!

You said "dada. "

She said "dada"! I got it on video.

I can't believe it! I missed it!

- Where is she?

- Come on, girl. Where is she?

My little sweetie.

My little doll.

- Told you.

- Say "dada. "

- Can you say "mama"?

- Watch this. Mama!

She said it!

She did, she did.

What are you feeding those kids anyway?

Too much.

- Happy trails.

- Okay, take care.

Diaper gravy.

This is awesome!

Where are the chicks?

Hasta la vista, baby.

All right! Look out, world.

Sly man's here!

The night is young. And so am I.

Diaper gravy.

Having that strange feeling again?

Yeah. Like somebody's calling me.

It sure happens a lot.

What are they saying?

I don't know. But it sure is scary.

Whose little boy are you?

- Whit, what's wrong?

- What is it, sweetie?

Hey, come here.

Did something scare you?

Come on.

- Let's take you upstairs.

- It's almost bedtime. Let's go.

Down to the last

cleaning person, you have passed...

...the most stringent

security check ever devised!

You each receive

salaries 10 times...

...that of similar positions

in other companies.

Why?

You are part of the most

momentous experiment...

...in the history of corporate

research and development!

You are entrusted...

...with that knowledge...

...and the responsibility

that goes with it.

And you have failed that responsibility.

Now I don't care how, or what you do.

Get Sylvester back.

Yes, sir, you're someone's

little boy, all right.

And there's going to be a reward,

and I'm going to be the rewardee.

I'm going to take real good care of you.

Reward? Hell, forget reward.

Let's talk ransom.

Yeah, that's what we'll do.

Ransom and easy street.

And if they don't come through...

Well, let's not think about that.

Looking good.

Come back when you're ready

to play in the bigs.

I gotta get a disguise.

Good evening.

Good evening.

What? This is a fashion statement.

You see that?

It looked like a kid.

That's a baby.

This disguise sucks.

Taxi!

Hey, babe.

Where are we going?

Since I can't walk, I guess we're

going wherever my mother's going.

Is that friendly?

What does this look like?

The welcome wagon?

Look, I got a problem.

Take off your clothes.

Okay, but at least you could

take me to dinner first.

Oy, a comedian.

Yikes!

Who designed this dress?

Larry, Moe and Curly?

Call me.

Oh, no. It's Elena's goons.

Don't forget, I'm listed.

Merry Christmas, Morty.

See you tomorrow.

Good night, boss.

Sure glad she wasn't wearing heels.

One umbrella one

Two umbrella two...

- Let's go upstairs to the zoo

- Good night, Amanda.

Good night, Rachel.

Sweet dreams.

That was beautiful.

Sleep tight, you guys.

Yeah, there we go.

We'll watch them till you come up.

- Why don't we have another?

- What?

Baby.

I tell you what.

You carry it for 41/2 months and

I'll carry it for 41/2 months.

Deal. Let's start now.

Honey...

Honey, we adopted Whit...

...because we thought that we

couldn't have children of our own.

And then we had Carrie.

She was our little miracle baby.

And miracles can re-occur.

Well, let's not talk

about that right now, okay?

Maybe next year.

Now, sweetheart...

...love of my life,

father of my children.

Did you tell Mr. Wilson

that we wanted a $50,000 loan...

...for a new wing?

Oh, yeah, that.

Oh, yeah, that.

- I meant to show you something.

- We're behind on the mortgage.

We have to go to the bank and beg.

I just want you to look at some numbers.

Right now we get $300 a month for each

baby in the research program, right?

Right. If we take in 10 more babies...

...we qualify as a Chapter 40

research corporation...

...and then we get $900 a baby.

Nine hundred?

So...

...the 10 new babies, our six...

...that's 14,400 a month,

2,000 a month for the loan.

Even with more help,

we'll still operate above break-even.

We can do more research,

take in more babies...

...lose less money.

This is amazing.

This actually makes sense.

Wait a minute.

You don't have a single cell in your

entire brain devoted to business.

How did you come up with this?

Actually, I don't think I did.

I think it was...

...Whit.

Whit told you this business plan?

Well, not tell exactly.

It was just... It came to me.

When I was working with him,

it kind of...

...jumped out of his brain

and landed in mine.

I went to the pamphlets. It works.

Kid knows his business.

Got some better news.

What?

'Twas the night before Christmas,

and all through the house...

...not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse.

Or a kid.

Or a toddler.

Okay, Charlie, they're all out

for the night. Lock it up.

Sly's in the house!

King of the mall!

Macy's.

Damn! I didn't bring

my credit cards.

Shop till you drop.

Video games. My kingdom

for some video games.

What have / got?

Baby Guess.

I can get out of drag.

Smoking!

He shoots. He scores!

- World Facts for 800, please.

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