Baby Geniuses Page #4

- Answer. Daily Double.

You're close to the lead.

Donna moved ahead a while ago,

but you're iust $100 away.

/'ll wager 1, 100, please.

For a $1, 000 lead,

here's the clue in World Facts.

"Discovered by David Livingstone,

Botswana's Lake Ngami...

...lies in the northern part

of this desert. "

What is the Kalahari?

What is the Gobi?

No. Wrong part of the world.

What is the Kalahari?

All right, that takes you

to 4,800. Pick again.

Do you think we've lived before?

I don't know, honey. That's your area.

The Tibetans believe that

when we're born again...

...we retain universal knowledge

for the first two years.

Then we learn to talk

and we forget it all.

They call it "crossing over. "

I'm doing a crossword here.

Universal knowledge can wait.

No, just think.

What if our babies

have all the answers to life?

I'd settle for 28 across. What was it

that Miss Muffet sat on again?

Her tuffet.

What the hell is a tuffet anyway?

You got me.

When you tap into universal knowledge,

you find out and let me know.

Lexi, you should've been here, kid.

What? You never heard

of Weight Watchers?

Diaper rodeo!

On your mark. Get set. Go!

- Here goes Old Faithful.

- Sprang a leak!

Come here, sweetie.

- A winner.

- Time!

Rotator cuff, rotator cuff injury.

May the wrath of Shiva descend upon you.

Stick to your rapping, Ice Shtick...

...and leave the wisecracks

to the people with IQs over 40.

It's not rap. It's mantra.

Junior, I was chanting mantras

before you were born.

You were chanting mantras

before Buddha was born.

Pretty...

That's pretty good.

Christmas shopping. Pray for me.

Want me to take the kids?

You can leave Carrie.

I'm going to run some stats.

Okay, come here.

You're going to love it.

That's a car. You can't

have a car for Christmas.

It's a little too expensive. Well,

maybe a little dinky car would be good.

What the hell was that?

I think I just had a kid.

Babyco 1, he's been spotted.

He's heading your way.

Busted.

Right up to the tunnel.

Go on.

We're on him.

Hey, buddy.

Come on, kid.

Give it up.

I hope you got a kick out of that.

Whittie, you there?

Over here.

Sweetie?

You still in there?

Where'd he go?

What was that scream? Was that you?

Sweetie, what are you looking at?

I thought we dressed you in overalls.

That's strange.

My little sugar.

Were you scared again?

Come on. I know what's gonna

cheer you up. Mommy knows.

Tears?

Could this be guilt

for threatening our great work?

Put him down.

I want you to see this boy...

...who has jeopardized

everything we've worked for.

Serves him right.

Why don't you go talk to your computers,

Basil? They understand you.

They don't like him either.

All right, Sylvester, go to your room.

We'll settle this later.

For heaven's sakes,

someone get him out of my sight!

I've never seen him like this before.

Go run some of that off, honey.

Watch out for that rope.

You know, I gave him a couple of slurps

of my ice cream and he just went nuts.

Dan, come out here.

I don't know what you feed him,

but where can I get some?

How does he do that?

Sugar high. You should've seen him

at Baskin-Robbins.

We've been banned for life.

Well, he seems okay.

I'll have a talk with him.

What is wrong with you?

I'm the executive director

of a madhouse.

What's wrong?

Nothing ever scares Sly.

I just want him to stop crying.

She's still upset, honey.

It's all right.

Just go to sleep, Carrie.

You'll be all right.

- There we are.

- Okay, you sleep tight.

First Whit, and now Carrie.

Must be contagious.

Night, guys.

Had any of those weird feelings lately?

- What?

- You heard me.

Lighten up, will you?

You're not my brother.

You fooled my mom and dad,

but you don't fool me.

What do you mean?

- You're not my brother.

- Don't be dumb.

Jerk.

She's gonna be trouble.

Play. I'll be watching you.

Want to swing? I'll push you.

I don't want to.

Tell us what happened.

I was at the playground with my mom...

With your what?

He's delusional.

You're such a putz, Basil.

Ignore him.

Go on.

And I climbed up the slide

and I bumped into this other kid...

...and when I got up, it was me.

What do you mean, it was you?

The other boy. He looked just like me.

What's your name?

Whit.

Oh, boy.

Don't worry, Whit.

It'll be all right.

Dr. Kinder will take you

back to your mother.

She'll do no such thing.

Don't you see?

Dr. Kinder arranged

for the Bobbins to adopt Whit...

...for just this purpose.

A twin progressive,

comparative experimentation.

What's he talking about?

We don't know, and we're geniuses.

It means Dr. Kinder

let that quack, Bobbins...

...raise Whit while

she raised Sylvester...

...to demonstrate the superiority...

...of the Kinder method.

And wait till she finds out

the twins have been switched.

She'll realize she has an opportunity

for a living cross-evaluation.

He's at it again.

Obviously Sly, swine though he is...

...is superior to this Whit individual.

Gee, thanks.

- She wouldn't do that.

- Do what?

Keep a child from its mother

just to prove her theory.

Oh, really?

Get Dr. Kinder down here.

Tell me, who is this?

That's Sylvester.

His brain synapses fire at a rate...

...of about 40@@@ above normal.

So that's Sly, right?

Look at this...

...little person's voiceprint.

So?

Compare it to this voiceprint

taken from Sly last week.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, no.

Those imbeciles!

Sly?

Whit?

You idiots!

You imbeciles!

You morons!

- You cretins! You, you...

- Boring.

Traitors.

No, not...

...idiots, no.

You wonderful...

...brilliant assemblage.

You have given me the greatest gift

of my entire life...

...our own living cross-evaluation!

Told you.

Brown nose.

Give them all a raise.

Brilliant.

I feel so warm and motherly.

I think I'll go visit my darling niece.

And the mother of the year is...

Start the comparative tests on Whit.

We'll see how Sylvester's

doing among the peasants.

How can she do this?

Don't you understand?

Dr. Kinder is acting

for the greater good.

Maybe it's all right for us,

but Whit has a mom and dad.

What's wrong with you?

She's not going to keep Whit forever.

Yeah, sure, Basil.

This is Dr. Kinder

we're talking about...

...not Dr. Frankenstein.

Teddie, what is it?

I feel funny.

What's wrong?

She's crossing over.

She's going to be one

of the grownups now.

Don't worry. This is the way

it's supposed to be.

You'll all cross over soon.

Bye.

Don't go, Teddie.

My God, look at that.

Two years old and the limbic activity

is slowing down.

The frontal lobes are taking over.

We were right.

Will she remember us?

No, she's one of them now.

Dan, we can't be late.

They're late. They're late

for a very important date.

Your mom and dad are off trying

to save the farm. Hip, hip, hooray!

Oh, you sweethearts. Thank you.

Thanks, all of you.

Here, you take her.

My little angel.

Who's there?

Let's go see.

Come on. I'll make you breakfast.

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