Baby Mama Page #3

Angie, that is just

the greatest news!

That's just

unbelievably great.

Yeah, yeah.

Thank you so much, Angie.

If you need anything, anything

at all, you let me know, okay?

Yeah, okay. I will.

I'm having a baby!

Hello.

What if the baby's

a hermaphrodite?

What?

A chick with a dick.

I heard it happens

to about 2% of babies.

Well, that's crazy.

That would mean that 10 people from

our high school were hermaphrodites.

Mommy. Mommy.

Mommy. Mommy.

No, that sounds

about right, actually.

You can't solve problems

by worrying about them.

Is that Alex? What does

she want for her birthday?

Karaoke Revolution

or a cell phone.

She's four.

Do you think it's too much if I

ask Angie to call me every day?

She just seems so chaotic.

I don't know

if she's eating right.

Is she getting

enough exercise?

Is she moving around too much?

You're only six weeks in.

You can't put her in a cage

and force-feed her.

I know. I know.

Expecting a baby?

Did I tell you? I found a

location for the new store.

Yeah, I have to

pitch it tomorrow.

It's gonna be a girl. That's

what's making your hair so dry.

Cash or credit?

Cash.

Oscar?

You got baby mama drama.

Hey, I left Carl.

I found out he was effing around

on me, so we got into a huge fight.

Things got

really physical.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I didn't

hit him too hard.

Hey, I brought you

a picture of the baby.

You know,

an ultrasound picture.

Oh, my gosh.

Looks like a squirrel.

A cute, cute squirrel.

Anyway, it's kind of early, so

you can't really see anything,

but they took a picture of it just

to make sure it's growing right.

They said all the parts

are good.

Why didn't you tell me?

I would've been there.

I didn't want

to bother you.

Don't worry. This couch is

more comfortable than it looks.

I also put a stack of clean

towels for you in the bathroom.

Do you need

a toothbrush?

Because I have some extras

that I keep for houseguests.

Good night, squirrel.

What we have here is our Boo

Boo Buster No-Slam Door, okay?

Watch how this works.

You can just slam it.

It bounces right back.

So you can put your fingers right

on in there, and it wouldn't...

Not you, it'll only

work for baby fingers.

- Okay.

- Okay?

Also included

in your premium package,

we have

child protection everywhere.

The doors, the door handles,

you have the cabinets,

caps all over the outlets,

cabinets, everything.

It's just baby-proof

all over the place.

Shouldn't be a problem for

anybody over the age of seven.

You sure have

done a great job

getting an early jump

on your baby-proofing.

Well, you guys

are the best in the city,

and I didn't want to risk

being on a waiting list.

True. But you can't be no more

than three, four months pregnant.

There's something

wrong with your toilet.

I'm sorry I broke

one of your rules.

You peed in the sink. Isn't

that against everyone's rules?

Only a crazy person

locks their toilet.

It's for the baby.

It's safe.

Please don't touch

anything else.

I'm here. I'm here. I'm sorry.

45 minutes late.

This isn't like you.

I'm sorry, Barry. I'm just

a little out of whack today.

Want me to get Dr. Gary down here?

Give you a shot of bee pollen?

No, thank you. I'm good. Let's do this.

Thank you

for waiting, everyone.

This may look like a

dilapidated warehouse...

Lady Luck gets on my side

We're gonna rock

this town alive

I'll let her

rough me up

Thanks, Oscar.

She knocks me out

She walks like she talks

like she talks like she walks

She bangs, she bangs

- Hey.

- What are you doing?

What is this mess?

Oh, baby, she moves, she moves

This game is awesome.

Where did you get this?

That's supposed to be

my niece's birthday present.

Sorry.

Angie, what kind of food is

this for a pregnant woman?

Dr. Pepper, Pringles, Tastykakes?

Red Bull?

Angie, Red Bull?

You have to remember that you are

carrying something very precious.

- Like a little puppy.

- Yeah.

Yeah. Or a baby.

What you eat, the baby eats. What

you listen to, the baby listens to.

If you listen to DMX,

the baby comes out going...

Are those cigarettes?

What? No. Where?

Do you know how stupid

it is to smoke at all,

let alone when

you are pregnant?

I'm not smoking.

I swear, I'm not...

Why would you

answer my phone?

- Hello.

- Kate, we're moving forward.

I think that that

is a great decision, Barry.

Yes, let's get those facts and

figures, Barry, into the idea machine.

We should close

in a couple of weeks.

I want you to put together

a press conference.

How about we start with a

little community outreach

and get the people in the

neighborhood on our side,

and then let the press

find us?

That's why I'm a genius

for hiring people like you.

All right, you.

My job gives me access

to the most nutritious,

chemical-free food

in the world.

I don't want my kid born addicted

to high-fructose corn syrup.

There is a thing called being too

healthy. That's what killed Bruce Lee.

Really? Where did you read

that? The Weekly World Dum-Dum?

All right. This is your folic acid

and this is your pre-natal vitamin.

You're serious about this?

I don't want my baby

to have a pinhead.

I can't do it.

I got it. It's going...

I can't swallow it.

What is this?

Water.

It's horrible!

- I need a...

- No, I can't put it in your butt.

Angie, cats can do this. Come on.

- It's in there.

- Just try.

Just relax.

Close your eyes,

open your mouth,

and do it! Swallow it.

Take it. There you go! You did it.

Hey, I'm just

like a lot of you.

I grew up at 52nd and Walnut.

I attended West Philly High.

I smoked a joint with Hall & Oates

during the bicentennial, all of that.

But unlike

a lot of you,

I have since

traveled the world.

I've had papaya on the

beach at Virgin Gorda.

I've toasted pine nuts at the

mouth of an active volcano.

I sat down with Native Americans

and had some amazing salmon.

And I'm here to share

my experiences with you.

You know, I was talking to Jimmy

Buffett this morning about trans fats...

Barry, the time.

Well, I'm sorry

I can't stay longer,

but I have to swing by

my son's graduation.

So I will turn you over

to our vice president of

development, Ms. Kate Holbrook.

Good morning and thank you...

Will there be pedestrian

access during construction?

How can you charge

$4 for one mango?

What's your carbon footprint?

Okay, how about we line up down

front here at the microphone?

And I can take

your questions...

And I can take your

questions one at a time.

Hi.

Rob Ackerman, WeBeSoCa Small

Business Owners' Association,

and I also own

Super Fruity Smoothies.

It's like Jamba Juice.

No, it's not. It's not

like Jamba Juice at all.

I think you've been

to my store.

Yes, I have. I remember.

Did you ever find that

apartment you were looking for?

Not yet. No.

Here's my question. Exactly

what portion of your profits

are gonna go

towards rebuilding

and the revitalization

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