Babylon Page #3

lot oftrouble yesterday.

- Good!

- Yeah?

You turned my record

player off, you know.

Put it back on! Put it back on!

Give me my hat. Give us it!

I'm gonna tell on you!

Give it back!

Missed! Missed!

You're not worth one. You think you can

live in that dirty the room upstairs, man.

Now go in the kitchen and bring

a broom and clean up this room.

And I want every piece ofthem sponge

back in them cushion, before I murder you.

Jesus Christ! Look at the

place. Like a farmyard.

So what happen to your job, man? How

come you still here this time of the day?

Nothing's happened to

my job, my job's cool.

Cool?

Lfyou must know, I leave the job.

You just threw away a good, good

job there and you don't even care.

Who said I don't care? Pray stop, man.

Listen, you do your thing,

and just allow me to do mine.

Your thing? F***ing kali weed

and sound system your thing?

Yeah, mine's herbs, man, and yours

is white rum and betting shops, man.

So what happened to

that, everything not cool?

No, sir, is two man inside

here and one that work

and one not work, you hear me?

And I don't want to subsidise you.

I don't

want to subsidise you.

Come here, you, come, come.

You skanking school again.

Leave him alone, man.

You see the fine example

you are setting him.

Why do you skank from school?

You must go offto school.

You too feisty.

You don't control him and

you don't control me, see.

So just leave him alone, right?

Watch it. When you earn as much as I

earn, then you can tell me what you want.

Until then, just keep your

pussyclaat mouth closed.

What's up, Blue?

- Why you not at work?

- Check the dole queue scene.

- Let me show you a shot, boy.

- Who you call "boy"?

- You the boy.

- Play the shot, then. Let me see it.

How come your face looking so

vexed and worried? Elaine pregnant?

- That's a call shot. Take it again.

- I'll show you a different one.

Hey, come here, I want

to show you something.

Come here. Hey, Blue,

come here, man. Hey! Beefy!

- Hey, Blue, come here and watch this.

- What the f*** is that, man?

Is that a dog? WEASEL:

Why doesn't he ride it?

He can just ride the thing.

Hey, Beefy, man, you've pulled a dog!

You're going to get killed, guy!

That thing gonna turn on you.

Turn on him! See that.

Beefy, where are you

going with that thing, man?

What the f*** is that?

Cho, Beefy, man, where

you got that thing, man?

Thing? Listen, this is

African Ridgeback, man.

I just lent him from my neighbour,

innit? Sit down, man, sit, sit. Sit.

You see? Plan is, man, we're

going to mash up Shaka and feast.

Man, this man is itection

against Shaka, you see.

See, Beef, the thing

looks starved, man, sure.

I think it's a poodle.

No, man, is a mutant,

the head's too small for the body.

Listen, this is a lion killer.

In Africa, they use them to kill lions.

What does it do, Beefy? Sit on

them and suffocate them, does it?

- A word with you, Errol.

- Yeah.

Look at that.

What is it?

40.

- 50, man.

- It's not mint.

- Oh, come on. - Errol, it's got

scratches all over the top, son.

Have a look.

Top price, it needs to be in mint condition

otherwise it's just not worth my while.

Hold on.

I want you to look upon video camera,

all right? What do you think about that?

Errol, son, where did you get

that from, the blind school?

Oh, come on, Les, don't

be so f***ing tight, man.

asking. 50 with the TV.

- What do you say? - You're

a f***ing liberty-taker.

- I want it delivered, all right?

- Yeah.

One, two, three, four, five.

There you go. Oh, and, uh...

A pound for some sweets

I want it delivered, mind.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- All right.

Anyway, listen now,

I talked to him about the video and

thing, right, and he just gave me this 5.

- 5? No, man, not right. - Listen,

Beefy, don't start that, blood claat.

Listen, take the 5 and be grateful now,

man. You lucky you get anything at all.

Look, listen, right, how am

I gonna buy weed with that

and how am I gonna buy an

engagement present as well, you know?

Oh, blood claat! Engagement present?

Tell me something, how long do you think

Loverboy and this Sandra

going to stay together?

Yeah, well, that's all you know, innit,

because he's going to buy a suit now.

You waste your money.

- What you doing it for?

- Hey, check that.

A walking flag of Ethiopia.

The man must have red, gold and

green underpants, the rahtid.

Jah! Star!

Eli! Peace to the I,

Rastafari. One love!

Really nice...

So what happen now? You

can't give me a lift?

No, man, not with the

dog. You have to walk, man.

- Later, man.

- Later.

- Walk with the dog, boy.

- Blood claat.

Hey, come on out.

- I no go, man. Get out.

What you mean, you

not come? Come on, man.

No, man, I'm not going, right? You think

marriage is all lovey-dovey and cuddly.

It's aggro. Me no go.

How can you not turn up to

your own engagement party?

Look, keep your mouth

down, man. She don't...

- Listen, my mum don't know, right?

- What?

All right, I'll put

it another way, right?

Listen, say God came along and he's

created all these different people,

all different colours, right,

red, brown, black, yellow, white...

Hey, wait a minute! White

is not a colour, you know.

All right, smart arse,

pink, right? Say he's pink.

He's not gonna say, "Well, the red people,

I'm gonna give them choppers that size

"and brown people's that size, but black

people, I'll give them one that size. "

- Why not?

- Because he's not, is he?

- He don't think like that, does he?

- That's where you're wrong, man.

You ever see a China girl with big tits?

See, is the same thing,

man, the same thing.

- He's right.

- Beefy's right.

Lfyou're sure, right,

Ronnie, when we get there,

- put it up on the table and measure it.

- We'll need a magnifying glass.

When you've quite finished,

where are you getting off?

Yes, pal, we're going, we're going,

we're going. Where are we going?

Tell him where we're going.

- I don't know, man.

- What are you talking about?

No, man, stop joking, man. Where is it?

- No, man, Sandra's supposed to...

- See this here... Wait.

See!

Where we getting

off? Where we getting off?

Hey, Beefy...

- St David's Hall.

- We've passed it.

- By the Odeon.

- Come on.

That's a pound. Five 20s is a pound.

- Leave it out, guv'nor.

- Come on, give us a pound.

Sandra, what time did

you tell this guy to come?

It's bloody well 10:30 now.

The guy hasn't turned up yet.

- I'm sorry I'm late.

- Forget about it, forget about it.

- Come up there with me.

- Hello.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Would you gather round, please?

Please hurry up. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to

disturb yourdancing and yourenjoyment

but the reason for calling you here

this evening is to ask you to participate

in the engagement of my

beautiful daughter, Sandra,

to Norvil Washington.

A very fine boy.

And therefore, I would

like you to raise your glass

in a toast to both these lovely people.

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