Bachelor in Paradise Page #10

Come here. You're going

to break your neck.

Come on, hurry!

Why are you out!

- Aah!

Shh!

They're all coming.

Over the wall.

- Oh!

Can you make it?

Go on.

WOLF IN PARADISE

LOVE NEST LOTHARIO LAYS EGGS

THREE HUSBANDS NAMES A.J. NILES

LOS ANGELES:

COUNTY COURTHOUSE

State, your name, address,

and occupation, please.

I'm T.W. Jynson, presently residing

in the Palm Vista hotel.

And I'm the developer of Paradise.

Paradise?

As I recall,

the book of genesis...

Paradise Village,

Your Honour.

It's a real-estate development.

One of the finest

housing developments

in the broad and fertile valley...

You will not use this courtroom

for any advertising

purposes, Mr. Jynson.

Continue.

Now Mr. Jynson, isn't it

true that, most regrettably,

you are compelled to seek

this action against your wife

after numerous instances

of infidelity with one A.J. Niles...

a man who is known to be...

pardon me, Your Honour...

a libertine and a seducer?

- Absolutely.

Objection!

Your Honor, we intend to

produce evidence to prove

the statement that Mr. Niles is,

if you'll pardon the expression,

a libertine and a seducer.

Order!

Order in the court!

Yes, I did say I wanted

to be in his book.

I wanted to be a

whole new chapter.

But in matter of fact, I wanted

to be a whole new book.

Mrs. Tom Cheapstake lives.

Miserably.

A.J. Niles filled my wife's

head with sexy ideas.

I married that woman because

I liked her empty-headed.

I knew there was

something going on

when I saw the way my wife

was wrapping the garbage.

Nobody wraps garbage

like that unless

there's some hanky-panky

going on.

The poor, dear man

was always trying to help,

like... when Camille wanted

to dye her hair red,

and Jack... Mr. Niles...

told her that dyed red hair

look so phoney... and...

Oooh!

Well...

Your hair doesn't look

like it's dyed, Your Honor.

I mean... I mean, men can't always

be right, can they?

Your home is directly

across the street

from the house Mr. Niles

is rented? - Right smack.

I've just talked to New York.

You making headlines.

I've had to order

a second printing

of your book

before it's even finished.

From your observation,

Mrs Brown,

how would you

describe Mr. Niles?

Sex fiend,

pure and simple.

Objection!

- Sustained.

Mrs Brown,

that's a very broad

and condemning term.

I don't know how else

should describe him.

He has only one thing

on his mind.

Have you ever read

his books, madam judge?

Yes, I have.

I also read books

from H.G. Wells,

but I wouldn't describe

him as an astronaut.

Please, confine your testimony

to factual observations.

Very well,

Your Honourees.

Ever since that man moved in

Rosemary's house...

Stop trying to make

implications, Mr. Backett.

My relationship with Dolores

Jynson was not experimental.

Oh, then you actually did find

her physically attractive?

Certainly not.

Did he have to say that?

Well, that is, I didn't

find her unattractive.

I... What I mean is...

Mr. Niles,

when you've finished debating with yourself,

will you please answer the question?

I'm trying to,

Your Honour.

I did found her attractive, but

that did not motivate my actions.

Now, Mr. Niles,

you herd Mr. Jynson

testify that he saw Mrs. Jynson,

clad only in

a revealing negligee,

nestled in your arms.

Would you explain

your motivation for that?

You see, Your Honour, it

isn't quite that simple.

What I mean to say is...

There were three other women

in the house at the same time.

Three? - I didn't

plan that way.

I don't go in for group therapy.

It... was one of

those hectic nights.

I can well

understand that.

Your Honour,

may I make one statement

to clarify this whole situation?

Clarification would most certainly

be in order, Mr. Niles.

Well Your Honour, there seems to

be a public image of A.J. Niles

as some sort of

wandering Casanova,

to whom the world

is a private boudoir.

In the past, there may have

been some justification for this,

but ever since I established

residence at Paradise Village,

I'm an entirely

different man.

The plain truth is...

For the first time in my life,

I've been in love...

sincerely,

deeply in love.

And because of that, only one woman has

meant anything at all to me.

That woman is

Rosemary Howard.

Because of my

feeling for her, I...

couldn't have possibly indulged

in any of the activities

of which I've been accused.

I returned from Washington for one

reason, Your Honour...

to marry Miss Howard.

Unfortunately,

she turned me down,

but I was truly

and still am...

deeply in love, and I...

hope to persuade her to

change her mind and marry me.

No further questions.

Does counsel

for the defence

wish to cross-examine

the witness?

No questions, Your Honour.

You may step down,

Mr. Niles.

Who is your next witness,

Mr. Backett?

I'd like to call Miss

Rosemary Howard to the stand.

Do you solemnly swear to

tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

Now yet you ruin everything.

Now you're just another guy.

And it's about time.

Now, Miss Howard,

were you formerly associated

with Mr. Jynson in business?

I was.

Did you resign

your position?

No... I was fired.

Will you tell

the court why?

Because I have refused to evict

Mr. Niles from my house.

Who demanded that eviction?

There was a petition signed by

a number of husbands

in the neighbourhood.

That would be exhibit A,

Your Honour.

Is this the document,

Miss Howard?

It appears to be,

Your Honour.

Now, Miss Howard,

that petition...

makes several allegations as to the

conduct and character of Mr. Niles.

Would you deny them now,

under oath?

Well, Miss Howard?

May I make a statement,

Your Honour?

In the interest

of clarification?

Oh, yes.

- Then by all means, Miss Howard.

These three divorce cases...

are based on a complete

misunderstanding of Mr. Niles...

and his motives

and the motives of the wives.

You tell them, Rosemary!

Order in the court.

Continue, Miss Howard.

I know this because

I worked very closely...

with Mr. Niles... on his notes.

I heard all the conversation...

between the girls and Jack...

I mean Mr. Niles...

that night before Tom Jynson

came bursting in.

A.J. Niles only wanted to help.

He understood

their frustrations,

their doubts,

and their loneliness.

She's right,

Your Honour!

Control yourselves!

This is not

a PTA meeting.

Go on, Miss Howard.

A woman left alone,

even in Paradise,

has to...

rebuild her pride.

I know Dolores and Tom are very

much in love with each other,

and Mr. Niles was

aware of it, too.

The others felt that their husbands

were losing interest in them.

But in all this time

in Paradise Village,

A.J. Niles only wanted to help,

and this is his reward.

Miss Howard...

Mr. Niles is not on trial here.

I know that,

Your Honour,

but he seems to be

the central character.

For as these men are guilty

of failing to appreciate their wives.

What's worse,

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