Bachelor in Paradise Page #9

permanent home since he was a kid

in the pool room

burned down.

And wants to stay

as free as a winds.

A man who's not only dead broke,

but in hock to the government.

Is that the kind of

man you want to marry?

I don't know...

I don't know if

I want to marry anyone.

Then it's a stand-off,

isn't it?

But I do know one thing.

- I know.

Pardon me. I'll kill whoever

it is and be right back.

Hello.

Yes, operator. Speaking.

Wait! Rosemary!

Don't go!

I... yeah?

Who?

Austin Palfrey, dear lad.

Can you be at the

L.A. airport by midnight?

But why, what's...

I've wired you a ticket

for the midnight jet.

You're to be in Washington

first thing tomorrow.

No, Rosemary. I haven't

seen Jack since yesterday.

But I did hear

his phone ring.

Was that you?

Dougie, spit that out!

What, Rosemary?

No. His car's

not here, either.

Look, honey,

I've got to run.

Dougie's eating a

a ball-point pen.

Dougie!

Jack?

TURN ON:

Darling...

that's you, Rosemary...

I had to leave.

Keep this machine

to remember me by.

I hope you'll be as lonesome

and miserable without me...

as I have been every

evening when you left.

There you are,

Mr. Niles.

Except for 1,000 dollars or

so, it's all there.

What's all there?

Your money, dear lad.

The cash, stocks, and bonds.

You mean,

you found Wappinger?

Boarding a plane

in Mexico City.

Oh, that's great. Thank you

gentlemen. That's wonderful.

Course, you'll have to sign

a complaint against him, Mr. Niles.

No, I don't think I will. I'd have

to stick around for his trial,

be a witness and... there's

something about courtrooms...

I suppose you're anxious

to back to France...

finish your book.

- No, I'm working on...

something little more

domestic right now.

Of course...

How the Americans Live!

It's true. - Alright George, you can

let the newsreel boys in now.

I'm about to start the publicity rolling

on Adams' next bestseller.

As a matter of fact, I've been back

in this country for some time...

I've been in California,

in a housing development

in the San Fernando Valley.

Course, I've have used

an assumed name,

but I've been doing a lot of

research for my newest book.

It's based on modern living in this

country, and it's called...

How the Americans Live!

It is been a most stimulating and

and fascinating experience...

and frankly I've been amazed

with some of my findings.

Because I've found a strong,

healthy group of

hard-working men and women,

who not only try to be

kind and decent,

but go to extremes

to help each other.

Aah!

Rosemary.

Why didn't you tell me

you were coming back?

I didn't know

I was going to.

But I just moved back in

tonight. This is awful.

It's not bad from here.

You look quite alluring, and I'm

proud of you for one thing.

What? - You didn't pull the bedclothes

up around your neck.

No, no!

Stay right where you are.

No need to get up.

It's after midnight.

There's no one's here but us.

- Oh, no, please.

You're beautiful with your

hair shook up like that.

Don't spoil it.

You're a picture.

You don't go in bed with your face

full of grease like a channel swimmer.

You... got let me get up.

- Rosemary.

We didn't plan it this

way either of us.

It just meant to happen.

I surely didn't

mean this to happen.

You're single, female, and in

your right mind. - Exactly.

If you think I am going to allow myself

to become entangled with A. J. Niles...

Oh, so that's it.

Everyone knows who you

are, Mr. Niles.

All you-know-what

broke loose here today.

You didn't feel this way

before I left.

I'm the same man

I was two days ago.

The same deceitful liar.

I had to lie,

but not have to anymore.

A shattering thing happened

to me while I was away.

For the first time in my

life, I miss someone.

I had to come back.

Will you please leave me alone,

and get out of here!

At least now

you know the truth.

If you want the bedroom,

you can have it.

Your rent is still paid.

- No, I'll stay there.

I'll sleep on the couch,

like the men always do

in american movies.

Ooh!

Oh, darn him.

Here.

Well?

- Well what?

Aren't you going

to brush your teeth?

Oh... I forgot.

You come in here

just to remind me?

No, I came in to tell you

how despicable person you are.

You might get an argument.

I'm quite fond of me.

You're the only one who is,

but I'm grateful

to you for one thing.

Well, that's something?

You brought me back

to my senses.

When I thought you'd gone for good,

I was desolate.

I was miserable

because I lost my nerve...

and ran out on you

the other night.

But now that

you're back,

I could see what a mistake

it would have been.

I'm not a woman to you.

I'm a... guinea pig.

That's all every female in Paradise

is to you, A. J. Niles.

A guinea pig.

By the same token, I owe

you a vote of thanks.

In the gitty euphoria of recovering

my loot and my identity,

I seriously considered

proposing to you.

What a stupid blunder that

would be, at my age,

to change my

whole way of life,

give up my freedom,

and everything.

Thank you my dear, for

snapping me back to reality.

I'll be out of here and out your

life first thing in the morning.

Thank you.

Who's that?

- I don't know.

Quick. In the bedroom.

- But who is it?

I don't know, it's too

early for the milk.

Just a minute.

Hi. May I come in?

No.- I heard your

car drive up.

I was so excited, Jack.

Mr. Niles, I mean.

I didn't think you were ever coming

back here. - Well, I didn't...

We knew you were somebody.

You just had to be.

I want you know,

no matter what happens,

we girls will stick up for you.

- May not be enough, Linda.

I'll take... ah...

- What's that?

What?

- Jack! Back door.

If that's Larry,

he'll kill me.

Quick hide in the bedroom.

No! No, no.

Second bedroom. Right there.

I knew this house

was too small.

You got to come with me

right away. - Where? What!

To my house, before Leland

finds out I'm here.

You gotta talk to him for me. You gotta

explain that nothing happened.

You calm down, Camille.

What you're talking about?

Ever since Leland found out that

you're A.J. Niles,

he thinks you and I we're having...

that we're carrying on

some kind of a...

Oh, please! You got to

come clear my name.

My whole marriage hangs in

the balance. - Will you stop this drama!

If I had to go that...

- No!

It's Leland! I knew I got to hide!

Please! I got to hide!

Here. Get right in there.

Keep breathing.

Oh, no!

Adam J. Niles!

Welcome to Grand hotel.

Why didn't you tell me?

We could have conducted the

most marvellous experiments together!

Look... put that

coat back on!

Where's your tape recorder?

Let's get to work.

But Dolores! - I want to be in

your book! - You know that you can't...

Ah!

So Mrs. Brown was right!

Wait a minute, Jynson. - I won't wait

a second, you libertine.

I'll see you in court...

both of you!

This...

- Oooh!

Linda!

What are you doing in

there? - I don't know.

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