Bachelor Mother Page #3

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-You don't have to get up in the morning.

-Come on, just a minute.

-Well, I'm just a little tired,

-and I think it would be better...

-Only a few minutes.

FREDDlE:
Just one little matcheroo.

-No. No.

-Oh, come on!

Hello, Mr Merlin.

Well, I just came in for a little smoke

or something, l...

(STAMMERlNG) We've been out dancing.

Well, l...

I guess I'd better go. Good night.

How did you get in here, Mr Merlin?

Your landlady was kind enough to let me...

(BABY COOlNG)

Let us in out of the cold.

I've been here three hours.

I'm sorry, l...

I've been here three hours, Miss Parrish,

waiting to ask you just one question.

What could possibly go on

in that peculiar brain of yours

that lets you jump around a dance floor

like an idiot,

10 minutes after you've left your child

in a strange house,

with strange people who,

for all you know, might strangle it?

-Are you through?

-No.

I've seen some low things in my time,

but a mother

who has just abandoned her child, going...

That will stand alone in my memory

as something revolting.

Just one minute, Mr Merlin.

Are you interested in knowing

what I'm gonna do?

Would it interest you to know

that I am not the mother of that child?

And that, to me, is the lowest thing of all,

that you can deny that baby

when it cries as it leaves your arms.

Those are experienced people.

They know a real mother when they see one.

I'm gonna fire you. In fact, you are fired.

But that's nothing.

-I'm not the mother of that child.

-Fine, you're not the mother.

But as you go from place to place,

looking for employment,

you will discover that no department store

in the Merchants of America Association

will hire you. I'll see to that.

But that's nothing.

Any employer will ask you

for a character reference

and in my wildest imagination,

I cannot conceive of anybody

whose character

is less deserving of a reference than yours.

I'll explain your character!

Well, that's persecution.

I'll say it is. And eventually you'll come

and you'll beg for your job back.

And then you'll realise

what it is to have security

and a chance to bring up your child yourself.

You danced. Now pay the fiddler man.

You have an obligation to that child. Fulfil it.

Good night.

Well, have you decided

to ask for your job back,

or are you going to starve for a while first?

I'd like my job back.

Well, that's better.

I'm really not as bad as you think.

Why did you do it?

I had to.

There was nobody I could turn to.

Well, isn't there some legal way

to make the father support the baby?

I don't want to have anything to do with him.

Oh, I see.

He used to beat me.

No.

See that?

-Coffee pot.

-Oh, you poor kid.

-lt all started...

-Yes, well, I must go now

and you ought to get some sleep, I think.

Don't worry anymore.

The store is behind you.

-Thank you, Mr Merlin.

-Oh, that's all right.

-Good night.

-Good night.

Well, thanks for the job anyway.

This can't go on very long, you know.

Yeah.

Well, what am I gonna do with you?

Hmm?

Have you got any suggestions?

(lMlTATlNG THE BABY)

Well, I'll think it over.

I suppose in the meantime

you'll want to get undressed.

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Who is it?

Could I come in a minute?

Oh, I'm...a little tired

and I'm getting ready to go to bed.

You don't have to hide that baby from me.

I know all about it.

Just like you, it looks.

You really think so?

The man I let up here with the baby,

he told me all about you.

Why did you want

to leave this baby someplace, huh?

You thought I wouldn't let you

keep a baby here maybe.

What kind of landlady do you think I am?

Well, thank you, Mrs Weiss.

I help you to take care of this baby.

I have downstairs a baby carriage

and a crib and anything you need.

Fancy.

What a wonderful baby. What's the name?

Joan.

John.

John.

That's a nice name, John.

Yeah.

John.

(TOY DUCKS QUACKlNG)

Good morning, Polly.

Good morning.

Don't talk too loud, you'll wake me up.

Why? What's the matter?

Ain't you getting any sleep lately?

Not for two nights.

How long can a person go without sleep?

Now, look, Polly.

You can trust me, you know.

I'm the kind of a guy that's strictly...

Couldn't get nothing out of me

with wild horses.

Huh?

How about you

putting in a good word for me with...

You know.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

Look, the assistant floorwalker job

is open right here in this department.

You know, with the little carnation here?

Now, one word from you to...

And I can stop pushing

this silly wagon around.

-Take that truck out of the aisle, Miller.

-Yes, sir.

-Keep those ducks in motion, Miss Parrish.

-Yes, sir.

Will you be coming upstairs, sir?

No, I'm just going to walk around.

I'll see you in a few minutes.

Good morning.

Good morning.

How are you?

I can hear you, but I can't see you so good.

I haven't been asleep for two nights.

Why not?

The baby's been crying.

Well, why don't you have it sleep

on its stomach?

I read that someplace.

That's how they like to sleep.

And do you know how to get a baby

to sleep on its stomach?

You turn it on its stomach

and then you go to bed,

and the baby turns over and starts to cry,

and then you get up

and turn the baby on its stomach

and go back to bed.

And then the baby starts to cry,

and then you get up

and turn the baby on its stomach

and pretty soon it's 9:00

and you're winding a duck.

Don't any mothers sleep?

I'm beginning to think they don't.

Well, there can't be very much to it.

After all, everybody here was a baby once

and they all got through it all right.

Thanks. I'll think of that.

Oh, that's just a pose that all mothers put on

that it's so difficult to raise a child.

I thought through that

when I was six years old.

Good luck.

Good morning, Mr Merlin.

Well, good morning,

good morning, Hargraves.

Quite an honour,

having you visit our department.

Oh, it all seems to be running like clockwork.

Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.

-Good day.

-Good day, Mr Merlin.

Here we are again.

Great fellow. Chip off the old block.

Yes, he is.

-This is the matter of your new assistant.

-Oh, yes.

Frederick Miller is entitled to promotion

by seniority.

Unless you have some personal objection.

No, he'll do as well as anyone. Thank you.

Oh, Miller.

-Yes, sir?

-For you.

Gee.

Tomorrow morning when you arrive,

you'll find some carnations in this vase.

-Take one.

-Yes, sir.

-A small one.

-Oh, of course.

Good luck.

-Thank you, sir.

-Okay.

Okay.

We have this little guy. He quacks, too.

He's all...

Babe.

That's what I call service.

Oh, this one quacks.

See the little duck?

Isn't he a cute little duck?

Now watch it. Now watch.

There we go.

Look at the duck.

Come on, open this mouth wide.

Isn't that good?

Isn't that good?

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Come in.

Hello.

Hello.

I was going through the book department

today and I found this book.

The Scientific Care of Infants

by Dr Joseph Eagleman.

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