Bachelor Mother Page #6

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I'm gonna take a little walk.

You are, eh?

Well, I don't mind a little walk, myself.

I think I'll go along with you.

No. Whoa. Oh, I wouldn't bother, Dad.

I'm gonna walk pretty fast. I don't think

you'll be able to keep up with me.

Yes. It is a little difficult to keep up with you.

I'll see you at lunch.

-Follow him.

-Beg your pardon, sir?

Follow my son and keep out of sight.

Yes, sir.

Allow me, madam.

Oh, hello.

Thank you.

-Oh, excuse me.

-Thank you.

You're welcome.

-Go right ahead.

-No, no. Go ahead, please.

-Oh, well. Thank you.

-Not at all.

Oh, isn't he cute.

There we are.

Uh, pardon me.

-Allow me.

-Oh, I see. Thank you.

How old is he?

Seven months.

Really?

Junior's only six months old and they seem

about the same size, don't they?

POLLY:
Oh, I don't know.

Our doctor says that Junior

is a perfect physical specimen.

I find if the baby gets gas on his stomach

that the best thing is to take some warm oil

on a piece of gauze,

-and rub it into his navel.

-Mmm-hmm.

Don't let the pages get stuck together.

(COUGHlNG NERVOUSLY)

Does he stand up yet by himself?

-No, he doesn't.

-He doesn't?

Junior does.

And their baby is a month older.

But I wouldn't be too discouraged

if I were you, dear.

After all, some babies

are more backward than others,

but they can outgrow it.

Does Junior talk?

At six months?

Of course not.

Well, they're not supposed to talk at that age.

This one talks.

I can't imagine it. At seven months?

He's been talking for a month.

Well, it's a little difficult to believe,

but, of course, if you say so...

Doesn't he talk, dear?

Didn't he talk last night?

Certainly he talks. And very well, too.

Why, he can recite the first line

from Gunga Din.

Come, Oliver.

Of course,

you didn't have to make it ridiculous.

I just asked you to say he could talk.

Well, you've come a long way from the girl

who wouldn't even admit it was her child.

Now you think it's quite a baby.

You get used to it.

You get used to anything

if it's around long enough.

It's a very unusual baby.

Oh, really, it is.

(GURGLlNG)

Oh, very unusual.

But I guess it's just hereditary.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, it is nice to know that he could grow up

to be the world's finest piano player.

Could grow up to be

the world's finest coffeepot thrower.

POLLY:
Now, that was unnecessary.

After all, you don't know the circumstances.

-Maybe I was...

-Let's not discuss it.

It's nothing to do with me.

It's not my business to...

Dad.

-What are you doing here?

-Oh, just strolling about.

This is Miss... My father, Miss Parrish.

-How do you do?

-How do you do?

And who is this?

Oh, that's Miss Parrish's little boy.

Boy.

Would you mind, if I was very careful...

Would you let me just hold him for a minute?

Why, of course.

Come on, darling.

Come on. Come on.

There it is.

(QUAVERlNG) I'd know that chin anywhere.

What's his name?

John.

John.

Thanks for that, anyway.

Is there something I can do?

You've done it.

I wouldn't keep the baby out much longer.

I think it's getting chilly.

Come on, darling.

Dad, you're acting rather strange.

Do you feel all right?

I'll discuss this matter with you at home.

Goodbye, Miss Parrish.

Goodbye.

Holy mackerel!

Dad, wait. Dad!

Hello, Dad.

-Now, you listen to me...

-I want to explain something.

-Let me explain it my way.

-I'll do the talking.

For years I've been waiting, waiting,

and for what?

The dream of my life. A grandson.

And now you want to deny me

this happiness. Why didn't you...

Excuse me, sir.

So this is the modern generation.

So this is the 20th century.

Marriage was good enough

for your father and mother, bless her.

-And it's good enough for you, son.

-Dad, I never said...

Pardon me, sir.

You're going to marry that girl.

You're gonna bring my grandson

into this house.

-Now, I'm gonna tell you something.

-Now, don't start that with me.

You know my temper.

Remember what I did to Governor Mead.

You haven't any grandson.

The least you can do is not to deny it.

I saw him with my own eyes.

I saw you with that girl.

-That's not my baby.

-Don't be a catcher.

Besides, I have other information.

A letter from... From a friend.

But if I hadn't it,

if I hadn't seen you with that girl,

if I saw that baby on a desert island by itself,

I'd know it was my grandson.

Why, he looks exactly like me.

Oh, Dad, for heaven's sake.

You're jumping to conclusions.

-Now, I'm gonna tell you something...

-My mind's made up.

Nobody's playing around

with my grandchild.

I'm going to take him.

I'll get him if I have to go

to the Supreme Court.

Will you listen, before your blood pressure

goes through the roof...

Never mind my blood pressure.

You don't know me in a fight.

Oh, you're the stubbornest man I ever met

in my whole life.

I'm going to prove to you

that it's not my child.

I know what's the matter with you.

You're crazy,

that's what's the matter with you.

You're unbalanced. You've been working

too hard and your mind's cracked under it.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

You've been burning the candle

at both ends.

Yes, and in the middle, too.

What you need is...

(DOOR SLAMMlNG)

...more sleep.

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Come in.

That must have been funny.

I know what your father thought.

He thought Johnnie was your...

This is no laughing matter.

Do you know what he's gonna do?

-No.

-He's gonna take that baby away from you.

-Well, I'd like to see him.

-You don't know my father.

He'll send for lawyers and investigators

and things. He'll get the baby away.

He can't do that. It belongs to me.

You've got to stop him.

All right. Well, get ahold of this piano player.

That'll be a big help.

Well, I can't do that.

But you'll just have to

when half a dozen lawyers come round here

questioning your fitness to raise the baby.

Look, take me to your father.

Let me talk to him.

-I can convince him.

-He won't believe you either.

He's out of his mind.

He even wants me to marry you.

He wants to set me up with a ready-made

family just so he can have a grandson.

I tell you, this is serious.

Yes.

That would be serious, wouldn't it?

Oh, no. I didn't mean that.

That's all right.

-I didn't mean to sound like...

-lt doesn't make any difference.

But you'd better tell your father

to leave Johnnie and me alone.

Oh, I'll do what I can. I wish I could explain...

Why don't you go?

Now.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Come in.

Mrs Weiss,

would you come and help me pack?

I'm going away.

Away? Where?

Oh, I don't know. Any place. They're...

They're trying to take the baby away.

-Who is?

-Who? That fellow who just went out?

His father.

Is that the papa of the baby?

No. No, but his father thinks he is.

That's ridiculous.

I don't pretend to be an attorney,

but I know your rights.

And I say his father can't get the baby.

I know, but I don't want

a lot of people around asking questions.

Polly.

Why don't you get the real papa

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