Bachelor Mother Page #5

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you'll just have to go stag tonight.

Oh, don't worry about me. I'll get someone.

It's New Year's Eve, David. And it's after 8:00.

You'll never get anyone at this hour.

Anyone presentable.

-I'll be all right.

-I'll see you later, then.

Yes, both of you.

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

Well, who can I call?

It's New Year's Eve, sir. It's after 8:00.

Yes, I know. I know.

There'd hardly be a young lady

available, sir, on such short notice.

MAN:
(ON TV) Take it away, Times Square.

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

(CROWD CHEERlNG ON TV)

Who is it?

(MUFFLED TALKlNG)

MAN:
...surrounded by thousands of persons

waiting to usher in the new year...

Just a minute.

Listen to that crowd.

(CROWD CHEERlNG WlLDLY)

(SWlTCHES OFF TV)

Your duck, madam.

I had it exchanged for you

with no trouble at all.

I certainly didn't expect to see you tonight.

Well, I didn't expect to be here,

but I was taking my shower

and it occurred to me

you might be having kind of a dull evening.

So, come on. Get dressed.

We're going to a swell party.

Stood up, huh?

Hmm?

You were stood up.

No, l...

Yes, l...

I promised to call her back and I forgot.

I'd love to go with you,

but I can't leave the baby alone.

Oh, the baby. You don't have

to devote your whole life to the baby.

You told me to.

Yes, but this is New Year's Eve.

Get somebody...

Get the landlady to take care of it.

Oh, there's one more thing.

Oh, what?

Well, you and your...

And me and my... What I've got.

We'd make half of a lovely couple.

I'll take care of the clothes.

You go and fix it with the landlady.

-Go on. Run. Hurry.

-She's probably busy... What will I do?

-Turn on the charm. Give it everything.

-I know, but...

Hurry up.

(DOOR SHUTTlNG)

Four and a half.

-Let's see now. You got stockings?

-I got stockings, all right.

-Handkerchief?

-Yep. I got the handkerchief.

-Purse?

-Yep. That's here.

-Well, come on. Hurry up.

-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

-Got gloves? Shoes?

-Yeah, I got gloves.

-Well, you got the shoes.

-That's right.

-Say, what coat did he say to get her?

-The mink one.

Well, there's a mink coat on that model there.

Well, maybe that's it. Let's see.

Think that's all right?

Good evening, Mr Merlin.

-Your party is right over there.

-Oh, yes.

Oh, don't leave me.

Oh, I won't know how to talk to these people.

Just say no to the men.

The girls probably won't talk to you anyway.

-This way, please.

-Thank you.

-No, I mean it.

-Come on.

But I haven't anything in common with them.

I won't know what to say.

I'll take care of that.

Suits me fine.

These boys are half-man and half-wolf.

If you know what I mean.

Yes, I know what you mean.

That tall one's cute.

He's the worst of the lot. He's all wolf.

-Hello, David.

-How are you?

Am I glad to see you.

-Hey.

-Huh?

-Her name's not David. That's me.

-Oh.

-Who is that?

-MAN:
I don't know.

-Oh, come on, come on. Introduce her.

-All in good time. Just relax.

(ALL GREETlNG)

Hello, I'm sorry we're late.

Look, there's no point in my introducing

this young lady to you.

She's the daughter

of a Swedish manufacturer.

Just come over.

And she doesn't speak one word of English.

(SPEAKlNG FAKE SWEDlSH)

(REPLYlNG lN FAKE SWEDlSH)

Say, where did you ever learn

to speak Swedish?

Oh, I had a two-week holiday in Sweden

last year.

It's a very simple language.

(SPEAKlNG FAKE SWEDlSH)

(REPLlES lN FAKE SWEDlSH)

She just said the funniest thing.

She's very witty.

What did she say, David?

It's not very good in English.

It's just the way she said it.

How do you say "dance" in Swedish, Dave?

-Robo.

-Robo.

Robo, madame?

Shmorgen.

She's from the north.

(UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYlNG)

(WALTZ MUSlC PLAYlNG)

(BlG BAND MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Thank you very much.

(CRACKERS POPPlNG)

Say "thank you" in Swedish, will you, Dave?

(SPEAKlNG FAKE SWEDlSH)

Oh!

(SPEAKlNG FAKE SWEDlSH)

What'd she say, Dave?

She says, "You're welcome,

and you could use some dancing lessons."

Hey. I'm hungry.

Well, let's get out of here.

I'll get you something to eat.

-I like it here.

-Then we'll stay.

-But I'm hungry.

-Then we'll go.

All right.

WOMAN:
Leaving?

Yes, we have some other stops to make, so...

(ALL EXCLAlMlNG DlSAPPOlNTEDLY)

Vijurna, happy new year.

(lN FORElGN ACCENT) Happy...

new...

-Year.

-Year.

-Good for you.

-Good girl.

-Happy new year to you, too.

-Bye. Happy new year.

-Bye.

-Bye.

Bye, David.

(PARTY HORN BLOWlNG)

-Are you leaving?

-Yes, Louise, we have another stop to make.

Well, how do you like her?

She's not bad for a fill-in.

Personally, I'd just as soon go stag.

(CHUCKLES SARCASTlCALLY)

You could, too, with those shoulders.

(DAVlD LAUGHlNG)

Happy new year!

Oh, shut up.

(LAUGHlNG HYSTERlCALLY)

(ALL SlNGlNG AND CHEERlNG)

-They're a little ahead of time, aren't they?

-(LAUGHlNG) I'm afraid so.

(CLOCK CHlMlNG)

(CROWD CHEERlNG WlLDLY)

(lNAUDlBLE)

(CROWD SlNGlNG AULD LANG SYNE)

(BOTH SPEAKlNG)

-I really had a wonderful evening.

-Oh, so have l.

-Never had a better one.

-Thank you.

Oh, your coat.

You know, I better give it back to you.

I'm afraid to keep it over Sunday.

Nothing can happen. You just wear it

and bring it to the store when you come in.

All right.

Thank you.

-Good night.

-Good night.

Say.

It's just 12:
00.

-Huh?

-ln Chicago.

Happy new year in Chicago.

Same to you.

You wouldn't wanna stay up and see

the new year in Los Angeles, would you?

Oh, it's a little late.

-Good night.

-You know what we ought to do tomorrow?

-What?

-Go for a long drive in the country.

That would be wonderful.

It might be a little too cold for the baby,

don't you think?

Oh.

Yes, the baby.

But we'll be in the park

just around the corner, all day tomorrow,

if you wanna see it.

I'll try and make it but I've got other things

to do, you know, this time of year.

-Oh, yes. Oh, I understand.

-Yeah.

-Good night.

-Good night.

And schmorgen again

for a very nice evening.

-Oh, he's awake.

-Oh.

(GURGLlNG)

Yes, you want... Hmm?

You wanted to see if I got home all right?

Oh, he's the best baby I ever saw.

He never even cried once.

My Jerome,

he used to cry all the time.

Thank you very much, Mrs Weiss.

I'm sorry, I didn't know I was going to be

out so late.

Oh, that's nothing.

What else have I got to do?

-Good night.

-Good night.

Good night.

Hey, you wanna know a secret?

You promise you won't tell?

I think he likes me.

Yeah.

But I'm afraid he doesn't like you

very well, though.

(WHlMPERlNG)

Oh, don't get upset about it.

Don't get upset about it because...

nobody could come between you and me.

'Cause... 'Cause you're my fella.

Yes, you are my fella.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, you can't eat my hand.

No, you can't eat my hand.

Yes, I know.

Good night, baby dear.

Happy new year.

(CHURCH BELLS CHlMlNG)

Hey, mister. You John B Merlin?

-To you, yes.

-Here.

All right. Cop this, will ya?

That'll teach you to monkey with me.

What is it, Dad? A mash note?

Nothing.

I'll see you later, Dad.

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