Bachelors

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1

If you wanna be

successful with women,

you have to overcome fear.

Fear of rejection,

fear of embarrassment,

fear of inadequacy, whatever.

You can't be afraid.

As a rule, if I look back...

and she looks back, too...

- Hi.

- Hi.

I'm Aaron.

The intro is important.

But follow-up is everything.

A lot of guys wait

two or three days to call.

I think that's stupid.

Women wanna feel wanted.

I call 'em that day.

Hey, sweetheart, it's Aaron.

We met earlier today.

I take 'em to my favorite spot

right away.

Never the movies.

You want their attention on you,

not some jackass movie star.

Good conversation is important,

but making 'em laugh

is even more important.

But to close the deal,

you gotta make it sexy.

And I know all about

making it sexy.

I work in advertising,

which is all about seduction.

You have to seduce people to

wanna buy what you're selling,

and I'm good at what I do.

Very good at what I do.

I find most women

give it up on the first date.

Of course, they always

give the disclaimer.

I never did it this fast

with anybody before.

That means she always

gives it up fast.

I just go along with it.

I feel so honored.

The worst part is afterwards

when you just want 'em

to go home.

Hey, sweetheart.

Let's get you home, okay?

Don't want you

driving home too late.

That was amazing.

You're amazing.

Legs behind the head thing

was mind-blowing. I mean...

Sorry. I just have

to get up early.

Got a presentation.

These are really cute.

So are you. Um...

Call me. Make sure

you got home okay.

Okay.

And no, I don't hate women.

I love women.

I just don't fall in love

with women.

I live a very blessed life.

I'm in my mid-30s,

I got a great job,

no wife and no kids.

And I damn sure don't feel

like I'm missing out

on the whole

wife and kids thing.

Don't get me wrong.

I don't have anything

against that lifestyle.

It's just not for me.

- Got it. Talk to you soon.

- Talk to you soon.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'm on my way to meet Kayla,

and I'm trying to figure out

how to tell her.

As many times as I've done this,

you'd think it'd be easy.

But Kayla's different.

I really like her.

I met Kayla

walking down the street, too.

Well, I didn't

actually meet her.

But that's the first time

I saw her.

And when I saw her again,

I knew I had to make a move.

Hi, I'm Aaron.

Of course I didn't wait to call.

I probably called Kayla faster

than I've ever called anybody.

Hey, Kayla, how you doin'?

It's Aaron.

We met about 35 minutes ago.

We went to the spot

for dinner and all that,

but it was different.

Kayla was easier to talk to

than anybody

I've ever gone out with.

I mean, I genuinely

had a good time.

Sh*t, she was making me laugh.

Of course,

I put the sexy on her.

But she put

even more sexy on me.

I was sure Kayla would

give it up on our first night.

After all, most women do, right?

Instead, we ended up laughing

and talking all night.

Even though

she didn't give it up,

I let her crash

for the entire night.

What the f*** was wrong with me?

I even let her

stay for breakfast.

Next thing I knew,

we were hanging out.

And I have to be honest.

I hadn't had this much fun

since I was a kid.

But she still didn't give it up.

I couldn't believe

I was just letting it happen.

The more I got to know Kayla,

the more I got to like her.

She had a lot of good qualities.

She had a great job

at an accounting firm,

she had her own place,

she was single, no kids,

she wasn't crazy,

she worked out,

she didn't smoke

but she liked to drink,

she listened to jazz and reggae,

she watched sports,

she didn't go to church,

but she believed in God,

she liked dirty jokes,

and most importantly,

she was really smart.

Checkmate.

Really, really smart.

Trust me when I tell you,

when she finally gave it up,

it was worth the wait.

It was weird.

Even when I wasn't with her,

I was thinking about her.

What the f*** was wrong with me?

That was when I realized

the time had come.

Hey.

How was your day?

It was okay.

How was yours?

Fantastic. Even better now

that I saw you, cutie pie.

So you all ready for tonight?

Yeah, we got everything

delegated and planned out.

It should be a good time.

I bet.

Kayla, there's...

There's something I wanted

to talk to you about.

Yeah, there's something

I need to tell you, too.

You first.

Okay. Um...

Well, I...

don't really know

how to say this, so I...

I guess I'll just say it.

I got a job offer in Chicago.

It's with the same company

doing the same job

for the same amount of money.

I put in for a transfer

a couple months back

because, I don't know,

I guess I just wanted a change.

That was before I met you.

I don't have to take the job.

I just basically wanted

to run it by you to...

see what you thought

before I made a decision.

Trust me, I'm not trying to put

any pressure or cables on you.

Just wanna know

what you thought.

So what do you think?

I think you should take it.

- You do?

- Hell yeah!

Chicago is a great city.

Maybe a change is just

what you need right now.

If I had a chance

to move to Chicago,

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Hell yeah!

Thanks for being so supportive.

So what did you want to tell me?

Oh, you know, it was nothing.

I forgot it already.

But I am so stoked

to hear about Chicago.

I mean, you are so lucky!

Maybe I can even

come visit you sometime.

Hell yeah.

Sorry to cut this short.

I'd better go

and give my notice.

You guys have fun tonight.

- Congrats again, gorgeous.

- Thanks.

You know what, Aaron?

I was really hoping

that when I told you

I was thinking about leaving

that you would say to me

you would slit your wrists

with a butter knife

or drown yourself in a puddle

or throw yourself in front of

a speeding yellow school bus!

Guess I was wrong.

You are a really

great guy, Aaron.

You need to stop

being so afraid.

Afraid of what?

For some strange reason,

I have an urge to go after her.

But it's getting late,

and I gotta pick up Sean.

Oh, oh!

One second, a**hole!

And quit honking the goddamn

horn in front of my house!

You knew I was coming,

motherf***er! Hurry up!

Sean and I have always had

a great relationship.

We've been best friends

since the fourth grade

when I used to get shaken down

for my milk money

by Biff Bartowski.

Sean used to get

shaken down by Biff, too,

so we decided to join forces...

and get shaken down together.

Even then, we made a great team.

Finally, when our balls

got a little bigger,

we beat the sh*t

out of Biff Bartowski.

We've been best buds ever since,

all through elementary school,

high school,

college roommates,

joined at the f***in' hip.

Most of all, we were into girls.

Lots and lots and lots

and lots of girls.

Sean and I always

worked as a team.

Sean's an engineer.

Although his job isn't

quite as sexy as mine,

he's good at what he does.

Very good at what he does.

Sean and I vowed

to never, ever settle down.

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