Back To Black Page #4

Nick?

Yeah.

He’s not really my type, Nan.

You’ve got an eye for the bad boys, Amy Winehouse.

(Chuckling)

He didn’t seem ‘bad bad’.

He played me The Shangri-Las.

Oh!

What a sound!

Nearly had me crying in the pub.

Yeah…

I remember them.

Queens, New York.

That melodrama, I just loved it.

Yeah.

They were pretty girls, and all.

Just like you.

Oh, thanks, Nan.

Here.

Er… no, I’m stopping for a bit, love.

What?

Yeah, the doctor said I should give it a rest, so… so I am.

Nan?

(Sighs heavily)

I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, but, erm…

I’ve got lung cancer.

It’s pretty far gone, they’ve said, so…

What do you want in your bagel?

Do you want cream cheese, smoked salmon?

Bit of egg or… tuna?

Bit of tuna to start, yeah?

♪ Dressed in black

♪ He walks alone, a shadow in the night

♪ Each time he walks by my window

♪ I can’t hold the tears from my eyes

♪ We’re still so much in love

♪ Why can’t they realise

♪ That every time he looks at me

♪ I long to feel his lips on mine

♪ I live on just the memory of him caressing me…

Blake? What the f***?

♪ They said he was much too wild for me

♪ They said a whole lot of things

♪ But there are some things they could never understand

♪ That a girl can tell by the way a boy holds her hand

♪ Or maybe they thought we were too young to be in love…

(Knocking)

♪ Well, I don’t care what people say

♪ This girl’s love is getting stronger with each passing day

♪ That every time he looks at me

♪ I long to feel his lips on mine

♪ I live on just the memory

♪ Of him caressing me

♪ So soft

♪ So warm

♪ So soft

♪ So warm

♪ But now he’s gone

♪ But now he’s gone… ♪

(♪ DONNY HATHAWAY: “I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know” playing)

♪ If I ever leave you, baby… ♪

Well… guess you’re not hungry now.

Are you joking me? I’m starving. Thanks.

Er… do you partake?

No.

Not for me. Class A drugs are for mugs.

Oh, that’s a really nice catchphrase.

(Laughs)

I thought you were rock ‘n’ roll.

No.

I’m jazz.

Have you got an issue with it, then?

Well, I’m not gonna call the police or anything. But I think it’s stupid, yeah.

Well, I think weed’s stupid, so there you go.

Plus, I don’t think that you really think that I’m a mug,

so, therefore, by my sheer existence…

…I’ve disproven your theory about Class As and mugs, haven’t I?

Yeah, well…

I haven’t really thought about it like that before.

Maybe it’s a load of bollocks and you’re still a mug.

What are you doing?

F***’s sake!

Look what you done, you f***ing donut.

Yes. Yes, I will.

(Giggling)

What’s that?

Oh…

I thought you were asking me to marry you.

That’s embarrassing.

Hiya! Can we get two tickets, please?

Absolutely. Thank you very much.

Here’s your receipt and your tickets.

Thank you, darling.

Thank you.

Bye!

What do you want to see first?

It’s got to be the chinchillas.

The chinchillas?

You got any chinchillas?

Ha! Why do you want to see the chinchillas?

Oh, my…

(Grunting)

Yeah!

(♪ Music over laughing and shouting)

Come on! Come on!

(Blake) What even is it?

I don’t know!

It’s one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen.

Is it a pig?

Come on!

(Roaring)

Oh! Oh, no!

(Amy) Gorgeous.

(Roaring)

Last time I was here, I was a kid and I saw six cubs.

Six, yeah?

Hmm…

That’s how many I want.

You okay with that?

Did I not tell you?

Mazel tov.

Ha-ha!

Are you having a nice day?

Yeah. Are you?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yes! It’s fun.

I’m loving it.

Hello, Nan. It’s me, Amy.

And me, Blake.

(Nan) ‘Who?’

Blake. Hello, Nan.

Yeah, that’s Blake. Remember I spoke to you about him the other day?

‘Is that you, Amy?’

Yeah, and Blake.

Shut up! It’s Blake and Amy, and we’re at the zoo.

On a date.

‘Oh, how romantic.’

Yeah, we’re on a date, and we went to see the lions.

And lioness.

And we were thinking about you. Blake said he wanted to say hello, alright?

Hello, Nan.

‘I love London Zoo.’

I hear you’re a bit of a lioness yourself.

‘Last time I was there, my Alec was still alive…’

Well, it’ll be lovely to meet you one day.

‘Sorry.’

Yeah?

‘Oh, yes, sorry.’

Hello?

‘Sorry, love.’

Are you alright, Nan?

‘Ta da, love.’

(Line disconnects)

Don’t f***ing…

F***ing hell!

F***ing… hell.

I’m in your pocket now. Forever.

Why not over your heart?

Bit late now, babe, innit?

(Roaring)

It’s that lion again.

She’s trying to wake her fella up.

Yeah, it’s teatime now, innit?

(Shutter clicking)

(Crowd cheering)

(Amy) Camden Town!

(Crowd roaring)

My people! My place!

Ladies don’t sip, they gulp.

Alright, this is another old one.

They’re all old ones. Look, I’ve been busy, alright?

I’m in love.

(Cheering)

So, you know, if you’re angry there’s no new album, don’t blame me, blame him.

(Crowd booing)

No! Don’t be arsey!

He saved me, alright.

From death by boredom. He’s my hero.

Alright. So, this one’s actually dedicated to an old friend of ours, isn’t it, Blake?

Yeah. Still can’t believe you went out with her!

♪ When you walk in the bar, and you’re dressed like a star

♪ Rocking your f-me pumps

♪ And a man notice you with your Gucci bag crew

♪ Can’t tell who he’s looking to

♪ Cos you all look the same

♪ Everyone knows your name

♪ And that’s your whole claim to fame

♪ Never miss a night

♪ Cos your dream in life is to be a footballer’s wife

♪ You don’t like players, that’s what you say

♪ But you really wouldn’t mind a millionaire

♪ All them big ballers, they don’t do nothing for you

♪ But you’d love a rich man six-foot-two or taller…

What the f***?

♪ You’re more than a fan, looking for a man

♪ But you end up with one-night stands

(Whooping)

♪ He could be your whole life, if you got past one night…

(Crowd) ♪ But that part never goes… ♪

You know, you could’ve stayed till the end.

Eh? Just a bit of fresh air, d’you know what I mean?

(Joey) Getting a bit sweaty in there.

No one asked you, did they?

Relax!

Oh, right, nice one.

So, what?

Yeah, really nice.

So, what? So, what?

F***ing cokehead! Instead of watching me.

I’m not just here to watch you. I’m not a f***ing groupie.

Amy, I’m here to have a good time.

But you don’t like drugs, yeah, I get that, but I do.

So, if I wanna have a line, I’ll have a f***ing line. Just deal with it.

(Woman) Here, get a picture.

Get some manners, yeah? Try asking next time.

Sad. Totally wankered.

F***ing what?

Amy!

You alright?

(Horn blaring)

Don’t touch me!

(Groaning) F***…

Oh, f***ing…

Blake!

Don’t.

Oh, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.

Don’t!

(Nan) Amy?

Amy?

Amy, love?

What?

What am I doing here?

Well, you rang my doorbell at 02:00am, in a bit of a state.

(Groaning)

Doesn’t help you going to work surrounded by booze all the time, it’s dangerous.

Yeah, I know.

Do you?

No, Amy.

Amy, you know when Charlie Parker died, they thought he was 60 and he was 35,

so, do you know it’s dangerous?

Yes, Nan.

Gonna make you some eggs, alright, love?

Hmm…

You have a shower.

Cos you stink of booze and fags.

No, that’s just my perfume, Nan. Chanel Number Pub.

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