Bad Hair Day Page #7

That's our first stop.

You're gonna have to use

your phone to summon us a cab.

I need a new phone. Yeah, you do. Come on.

Hi, hi. Arnie, Arnie, hi.

Wait, I need to get my car back. Yeah.

Fill out all seven release

forms and have a seat.

Listen, we're really in a

rush. So are all of them.

Okay, you know what? I didn't

want to do this, but here you go.

Yeah, I'm FBI. I mean, come on.

I don't care if it was

J. Edgar Hoover himself.

You sit down and you wait,

just like everybody else.

Well, can you at least tell me

if my car is in this lot or not?

Sure! After you fill out the forms, have

a seat, and wait just like everybody else!

You are a very angry person!

Okay, stop, stop. Just come here.

What do we do now?

We don't have time to wait here

forever. Monica, honestly, I don't know!

Not a word.

Come on.

Excuse me.

You know, I probably could

take a look at the IT system.

Really? Yeah, it's...

just your standard SQL database, probably.

You know, I could get in,

find your car, get it cleared.

I do it with the library system when

I take too long to read the books.

But it's hopeless without a password.

"Poopy." What?!

That's the password. "Poopy."

How do you know?

%83 of people use their

pet's name as their password,

and I'm guessing that number is closer to %100

when you and your dog have matching t-shirts.

I need to get back there.

Okay, I'll distract him.

How? I don't know,

compliment him, right?

Just... follow my lead.

Come on.

Um...

Arnie...

Hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot.

Ma'am, I just need the forms.

Um, has anyone ever told you that...

you have great... a great...

forehead?

Huh?

Yeah, it's... it's round, and

your... your hair is like way back here,

and then it goes, "Whoop, whoop!"

Ma'am, could you just please have a seat,

and... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Look, I have a forehead thing.

It's weird, I know, okay?

What I'm trying to say is that...

You have a tough job.

Yes, you do, but you have

a certain intellect, I see...

The smarts and the thinking

and the brain stuff,

and... and you're good at

your job. And I respect that.

Thanks, that's...

actually nice to hear.

You know, well, um...

nobody ever seems to appreciate

what I do around here.

I...I do.

I... I... f... find it very attractive...

when a man is good at his job.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, you, you, you

sit in that chair, all day, and

you are the guardian of cars.

And you deal with people, and

that takes a strong constitution.

You know, your constitution is so strong.

You know, I really don't feel

like I'm appreciated in this job.

I can see that. And this job, I mean

it's hard for people to see the real you.

That's exactly right, I mean, like,

I'm stuck in this office all day.

It's tough for a man.

I mean, it can't help that you're so...

Uh, handsome!

Did I just say that out

loud? Whoa, I said it, yep.

It must make

people feel really insecure.

Handsome?

Me?

You know, this may be

against protocol, but...

for you, maybe I can bend the rules

just a little bit and check on your car.

Okay.

What is the plate number?

It is, uh, four? "L"... Four.

"M"...

"K"...

Sorry, say that again?

Four... Yeah.

"L"... "L."

"Four." "Four, 'L, ' Four..."

"'M', one, 'K'"

"4L4M1K"

Uh... well!

Looks here like I'm the one that

needs to be apologizing to you!

It says here your car was, "Towed in

error," and it's ready for immediate release.

Wow, that's great news. That's great news.

Here, um, just take this...

and give it to the guard

on level three. Actually...

That's my phone number.

Maybe we could, uh, have dinner some time?

I'll bring my forehead.

Yeah, you will!

What are you doin' back there?!

Um, uh, you know, I was, I was

looking for the bathroom.

Second door on the right!

I can hold it.

She'll hold it. She's good like that.

You know...

You and your daughter look

like you could be sisters.

Well, thanks. Thank you. Yeah, okay.

Go, go, go!

Nice work! I gotta say,

I didn't think you had it in you.

I didn't either. But you, you with

the computer, you were amazing!

You're like Bill Gates

but... smarter and with no glasses.

I can see why MIT wants you.

We make a pretty great team.

Yeah.

Um...

The diamond isn't here.

What? Well, I don't know!

I put it in my makeup and now it's gone.

Wha... Wait, this

is "Desert Flame."

This is not my color, I'm a "Mountain

Sunset." What happened?

I have no idea, I would

never wear "Desert Flame."

I'm a winter. It completely washes me out.

I know, I know. Okay, just

think, think, think.

You are a strong, independent

woman, and he is a shallow dirtbag.

Sierra! Sierra!

She's at the park!

Why is she at the park?

Prom pictures, it's the

prettiest spot in town.

Please call me the second you get this!

This is a crazy, serious,

monster emergency!

The park is huge, she could be anywhere!

How are we supposed to get to her?

We need bikes, quick.

Ah, we only have one left. We'll take it.

Take it easy, it's

a little bumpy in here!

I'm trying here, okay?

Clear the road, people.

Stay clear of the vehicle's path. I repeat.

I told you you should have let me be

in the mommy seat. Just be quiet, okay?

Whoa!

My goodness, look out, Whoa, easy!

Look out, comin' through!

Sorry!

Whoa! The pond, to the right,

to the right, to the right!

Right, right, right, right, right!

Monica...

It's stuck! Okay, well, push harder.

Pushing! Just push it harder!

I am!

Kyle?

Listen, I am really glad you're here,

I've been meaning to talk to you.

Now's not a good time, Kyle. No, look...

I might have made a mistake

with Ashley, you know? She's...

She's a little difficult, but...

You know, I just, I was hoping

you'd still be my date tonight. Wow.

Kyle... I... I don't

know what to say.

Dude!

Look, I don't want any

trouble, okay? Lady, no "man-girdle."

Kyle! Hello?

Look, we're losing our lighting,

we need to take pictures now!

Monica?

What are you doing here?

Nice to see you too, Ashley.

So what do you say, babe?

Be my date again? Huh?

What? But you're my date! And she's...

Riding a bicycle. With

the old lady from the mall.

Oh, did I hear that

correctly, Monica? Mm-hmm.

Did she just call me old? You

know what? I believe she did.

That's not good.

No, it wasn't me, it was her!

No, I think she meant, "seasoned."

'Cause you're not that old.

Don't make me do "The

Macarena" again. Yeah.

What are you doing?

No!

Wait, Sierra! There! Go!

I just need your

makeup. But you're a winter!

My makeup just washes you

out! We know, earlier we...

Never mind, I just need your clutch.

Oh, oh, okay.

Okay, how did that get in there?

Long story. How much time

do we have? Just enough.

Okay. Let's go.

And remember, this guy's

not messing around, okay?

I'll be okay.

We'll get your dad.

Look! Look, there's a door.

Bingo.

You know, we could still take

the diamond to the cops. Let them help?

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