Bad Kids of Crestview Academy

Harvard

graduates of 19-ought-seven,

as you enter this new

chapter in your lives,

you can use your wisdom

and your brains!

Crestview academy for girls?

After...

We've got reports of fire and

a possible hostage situation

at crestview academy.

Charlie-four-bravo.

All units in the vicinity,

please respond. Over.

Whoo!

Team one, do you read me?

Team one, do you read me?

Copy that.

We are code green.

All units, possible man down.

Hands up!

You know the drill.

She is not giving up.

You are not going

to do anything!

You are going to turn

yourself in like the last one.

Nice

and slow.

Go to hell.

Polish your bike?

What?

Polish your bike?

Yeah, sure, kid.

Knock yourself out.

Hello?

Hello?

Ah, siouxsie with an "x."

How is my little

Indian Princess?

You mind?

Hmm?

Oh, got you.

Now, what can I put

in your shopping basket today?

What you should've

already done, Ben.

Excuse me, in my domain,

you call me the naked wizard.

What?

Well, yeah,

'cause nothing hides

from my wizardry.

Just like

what's under your clothes.

I'd penetrate that.

Keep your dick

habits to yourself.

Do you have it?

One super-creepy-style virus

no computer can resist.

Just slide it into the

lecture-room computer.

And I'm on the detention list.

Taking care of business

as we speak.

Are you serious?

I did everything you suggested

and I'm still not on the list?

It'll be done

as soon as you arrive.

Give it to me, baby.

Fine. I'll PayPal

you when I'm done.

Hey, I just got to ask.

If you really think it's murder,

why don't you just go to the police?

Because, naked wizard,

when I have my proof,

they'll burn.

You know you want it.

F***, she's crazy.

But I'd tap that.

Thanks, kid.

Where's the Benjamin?

You're shitting me,

right? Beat it.

All this money.

God, I hate this school.

Hmmm. Are you sure

you're in detention today?

I'm having trouble

pulling up the list.

You don't think that I've

earned my place here?

Miss hess!

This is not a part

of the crestview-approved

grieving process!

Get off the car.

No can do, Mr. Nash.

My sister's corpse splashed

all over the hood of your car.

And I'm sorry about that.

The world needs to know!

This isn't

gonna help anyone.

Oh.

Please, get off the car.

I mean, first the hood,

now the roof.

Yeah.

The side of the car.

No, it's not appropriate.

It's not appropriate!

I want you to come see me

after school for detention!

Ooh, I'll come see you.

For detention!

Because I've been bad.

I've been so bad. Oh!

I've seen this all before.

Okay.

It hurts me, to give it to you

but you're gonna have detention.

It hurts me,

but I like it.

No, I don't do that.

Yes, yes!

Don't do that. Let's go.

You're a witness. She's a witness as well.

Kids, get back to class.

Yes, you've been so

bad and naughty.

All of you go to class.

It's fine.

We're gonna burn another car

tomorrow. Back to class.

Everybody, detention,

'cause you've been bad,

you've been bad,

you've been bad!

In spite of your actions...

Over 100,000 hits on YouTube.

Right, but headmaster

Nash usually reserves

his weekend punishments

for only certain students.

Oh, you mean the rich kids?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I do not like using

the r word.

All right, well,

Dr. knight, Mr. na...

Headmaster Nash told me

to come here today.

I don't know. There must

be some kind of error

in your dumbass computer.

Siouxsie, Mr. Nash

is very clear on his rules,

and he loves updating

his lists properly.

But if you insist that he put you

on the list, i can give him a call.

No, no, it's okay.

What kid willingly comes to

detention on a Saturday, right?

Yeah, well, it's protocol.

If you're not on the list,

you can't even be on campus

on a Saturday.

Especially after that horrible

event that happened.

Just one second here.

Oh.

There you go. Hmmm.

Just appeared.

How wonderful.

Let's get you fitted right into

your custom detention, shall we?

Yay.

We must find Max.

That weirdo?

Oh, well, he has the pass code,

siouxsie.

And I think

you'd like him,

giving you both have

the same Indian heritage.

The only thing that guy

and I have in common

is that we hate to clean up

after the white man.

Oh, my.

Siouxsie, did I ever say

i was sorry about your sister?

No.

No one has.

She was a light at this school

and a wonderful journalist.

Yeah.

If only I had known

she were depressed.

I have an assortment

of medications...

She wasn't depressed.

Oh, of course. Yeah.

That was

less than appropriate.

My apology is a ball of light

that I hand to you.

Wow. Thanks.

Oh, there he is.

Max!

Max.

Dr. knight.

- How are you today?

- Wonderful.

How could I not be

on this glorious day?

It's a good day to mop.

Yes, of course.

Max, can you open

the library for us?

But the other

bad kids aren't...

They're not here yet.

Oh, there are no such things

as bad kids, Max.

They're only misguided.

If your mother

were alive, she'd be...

Ashamed.

Say it Broadway, dad.

Otherwise us gays

just ignore breeders.

Being gay is the last thing on

my list of problems with you.

Oh, yay.

Using and dealing drugs,

getting caught having sex in bathrooms,

that's at the top.

Dad, everyone knows you have

to go where the dick is.

Mother,

why am I even here?

You're a senator.

Yes, who happens to be

going after the presidency,

so we need

to be squeaky clean.

And after that party

you threw,

detention is the least

you could do.

I wasn't even there.

The least you could do.

Yes, mother.

If you had any real influence,

I wouldn't need to be here.

Baby, you can't go pushing

silly white girls

into swimming pools

for no reason.

Jesus, daddy,

who's really white these days?

Someone died, faith.

And we do not take

the lord's name in vain.

Look at it this way,

after today,

we can put this goddamn thing behind us.

Christ, mom, adjust your meds.

Oh, Max,

children are a vocation,

yet you act

like it's a miracle

that they don't kill

each other.

Phones, please.

Thank you.

No candy crushing

during detention hours.

Ah, that ratchet b*tch.

Cute.

Good god.

This thing just got

a lot more interesting.

How wonderful,

you're all friends.

Shall we?

Phone, please.

Thank you. Thank you.

Now,

to prevent any new incidents from occurring,

every special door has

a pass code instead of a lock.

If the power goes out,

the doors

will automatically unlock.

So, this will be safe

yet fun for us all.

Max?

Max?

Code's not working.

Code's not working?

Awesome. Detention cancelled.

Sweet!

No, no. Why don't you guys

take this restroom opportunity

while we fix

this tiny little issue.

It should only be a moment,

I'm sure. Right, Max?

I don't know.

I hear bad things.

Right.

Well, off you go.

Come on, come on.

Ah, yeah,

kill the f***ing pope!

Yo, yo, yo, bw.

Come on, come on, free sample.

Your sister loved it!

Did I see on Twitter

your father's been looking

at houses in Washington?

That's right,

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