Bad Milo! Page #2
Duncan, I presume?
Yeah. Yes.
Are... are you two planning
on having a baby?
- Oh, heavens no.
- Not the way we do it.
Sc Duncan,
that you guys are having
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
- No.
Sweetie, Sarah is ready.
So if your little guys
are slow swimmers,
maybe something can be done.
Wow. Beatrice, I feel like
I may have mislead you
because that is not
an issue that we're having.
Duncan, if you have a problem
with erectile dysfunction,
I can help you with that.
Look, I just thought there
might be a problem.
Your father had a problem
in that department.
- I just thought...
- I don't... I don't...
...need to know
about any of that.
Honey, sometimes we have to
hear things we don't want to hear.
It's a common affliction, Duncan.
A lot of men have it.
Not me, of course.
I'm a very virile man.
- Me neither. Super virile.
- Very virile.
I don't know you well enough for this
to feel comfortable with me.
Bobby, thank you so much
for this delicious food.
If you want,
I can set up an examination.
- I don't.
- Mmm, would you?
- I don't.
- Great idea.
In fact, maybe I can take
a look tonight while I'm here.
That would be perfect!
See if there's a response
to a stimulus.
Are you the one
doing the stimulating?
That's correct, yes.
And size has nothing to do with it.
Don't be bashful.
He's right. You know, I mean,
we don't have that problem.
- No.
- We have the opposite problem.
I mean, we have to
really take it slow.
Honey, no one cares about
the size of your willie.
I've seen it, it's beautiful.
It's way above average.
The point is progeny.
We want grandkids.
In other words, there's more
than one way to choke a chicken.
Uh, wow, that's...
That's something to think about.
Oh, look at that. It's work.
I'm gonna have to take this.
Yeah, hello?
Hey, cubie,
how's it going?
Two things. First of all,
the toilets do nut work properly.
Uh-huh.
Second point.
I've looked into the Murphy
report on your computer...
You're using my computer?
Yes, and the good news is,
I found it.
The bad news is,
I think I may have deleted
something important.
You what?
Yeah, it was a folder called
"Board of directors presentation."
What?
Are you f***ing kidding me?
I've been working on that
for a year.
Oh, my God.
This is bad.
Honestly, I was flustered
by the toilet situation.
I called the janitor.
That's going to be better.
- That will...
- Whatever, whatever.
Whatever. I'll come in tonight.
I'll take care of it.
Bye.
F***, f***, f***.
Oh, God.
Did you know that the leading
cause of divorce is children?
That's not true.
That is just what children
believe in their hearts.
Kids are a huge responsibility.
It's just a stressful
thing, honey.
I don't know if I could
do it right now.
Okay, look, I didn't say that
I wanted to have a kid today.
I don't need to have
a kid tomorrow.
Okay, good because
tomorrow I have plans.
I gotta go see the doctor.
I gotta get the car washed.
Honestly, so if you're planning
on popping out a kid,
I just don't think it's
an appropriate day to do it.
I'm just saying that...
...I want to have a family,
and I want to have a family
with you.
I know. I want to have
a baby, too.
I just...
Phil put me in charge of layoffs.
Today.
Why did you agree to that?
What am I gonna say?
All you have to really do
is just say no.
It's just...
It's not a great time
to make big changes right now.
Can we just let things
settle down a little bit?
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- All right.
- I'm sorry.
What is going on down there?
Awful things.
Godawful things.
Oh, my God.
That is the worst smell I have
ever smelled in my life.
Honey? Is this gonna
be more cf a five minute deal,
or a half hour deal?
Uh, go to bed, honey. I have
to go back to the office anyway.
- Don't wait up for me.
- Okay, be safe in there.
Don't rip anything.
I love you.
- Good night.
- Okay.
Hey.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Just, uh... slept funny.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I tell you
what happened yesterday?
Samantha's pregnant.
Can you believe it?
And not only that,
they went down to City Hall
and got married yesterday,
and they didn't even tell me
- till after the fact.
- Oh.
So crazy, she's my last friend
that I ever, ever, ever
thought would have kids,
but she has health insurance now
that she's pregnant...
The body of Alistair Mcgee
was discovered earlier
this morning by maintenance crews.
McGee died from massive blood loss
sometime during the evening.
The coroner's office reports
that the injuries were sustained
by what appears to be
an animal attack.
- Experts say it could've been...
- What?
- That's Alistair.
- Who's Alistair?
My cubie.
...focus of
in response to charges
of corporate fraud.
Can you imagine
what happened in there?
It must have been terrifying.
You're late.
What the hell happened?
I'm not sure. Some kind of animal
attacked Alistair last night.
Animal control says it was
probably a rabid raccoon.
Yeah, that's what they said
on the news.
It's super freaky. I got somebody
checking out my office right now.
Listen, at least you don't
have to fire him.
Bonus.
Here's how we're gonna play it.
I just want you to be straight
with them.
You're gonna give them
the package.
When you walk in,
you're gonna see the folder...
You... you want me to do this now?
You want to fire this guy today?
- You'll do fine.
- What about Jill?
Jill is great
for something like this
because she's big,
she's intimidating, she's tough.
I don't want tough.
I want nice.
I want gentle.
Oh.
I want you.
So clean and quick, and then
I'll send in the next guy.
And if he doesn't break out
an AK-47, we all win.
Hey, hey,
look what I can do.
You know,
...it's difficult
to bounce back.
So we're... we're giving you this,
and the severance package
is not much, but it's something.
There's a severance package?
I mean, the meat of it
is the thank you.
You mean like a... a note
that just says thanks?
Yeah, that's bad.
- It's not much, Abaloosh, but...
- Abalash.
- I'm sorry?
- My name is Abalash.
It's spelled like it's Abaloosh.
Really?
Really?
It's dumb that we
have those in there.
Barry thought it would be a...
...a laugh in a...
in a stressful situation.
I said at the time,
that's not a good idea.
Give those back.
I don't know why somebody...
That's completely...
inappropriate.
Good job, brah.
That's it for today.
Today?
- I have to do more of this?
- It'll get easier.
You gotta remember what
you're doing is a good thing.
It's horrible.
But...
...it's fulfilling.
Hi, Duncan, it's Dr. Tip calling
from the Center for Fertility.
Look, I'm gonna level with you,
you've got a smoking hot wife,
and you're moping around
with a wet noodle.
If you don't get her pregnant
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"Bad Milo!" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bad_milo!_3460>.
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