Bad Night Page #2

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It's called cubism!

Should be called dumbism.

Ha ha ha! Boom!

He combined styles to

paint things as he saw them,

not as they were seen by others.

He broke all the rules

to prove a point.

That is essentially what art is.

Thank you, Abby.

That's exactly right,

and some of his paintings

are the most expensive

in the world today

and sell for upwards

of $150 million.

Go to your room!

For a painting?

I got to start painting again.

Yeah, seriously.

We got to get out of here,

go steal one of those paintings,

sell it on the black market.

Who's in?

Very funny, Wanda Sykes.

Now, everybody, eat up,

and let's get back

on that bus.

I'm getting one more bowl

of marshmallows,

pinto beans, and craisins,

and then we are out of here.

Don't you just know it?

Ha ha ha ha

Hey, hey,

Hey, hey,

Hey. Hey, Mrs. G, I'm not...

I'm not feeling too good.

I need to go to the bathroom.

Should have gone

in the restaurant.

- I don't feel good either.

- Me, too.

I don't know.

How are you feeling?

I'm fine. Are you OK?

I think it was that food we ate.

It's making me feel sick.

Sitting like

a pine cone in my colon.

It's not the food, OK?

I ate the food, too, and I...

Ha ha ha ha

Ha ha ha ha, Hey, hey,

Hey, hey,

Ha ha ha ha

No. I don't want it.

I don't want it.

Raaahhhh!

Call the police, someone!

Babe, I'm sorry.

I told you, Mrs. G.

Our bodies are rejecting us!

Help!

Don't you just know it?

Ha ha ha ha

Everybody OK?

No! I can still smell it.

What is happening to us?

Kate and Abby, are you guys OK?

- Fine.

- No. I'm scarred for life.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

OK. Guys, don't panic.

Everybody's gonna be fine.

You're not dying.

We're a little car sick

from all the bumpity bumps

of the bus.

We're gonna get some fresh air,

enjoy the parking lot,

and then get right back

on that bus.

Listen. It's not gonna happen.

I can't drive like this.

We got to spend the night here.

Bear, give me your keys.

I'm gonna drive the bus.

- No. I'm gonna lose my job.

- Bear, I'm gonna drive the bus.

You don't know how to driv...

this is a large machine.

- I'm gonna drive the bus!

- You're not licensed.

You could kill us all

if you already haven't.

Miss Goldstein,

I need a bathroom.

God.

Stop it, stop it, stop it,

stop it, stop it, stop it.

Stop it. Stay.

Stay, stay, stay, stay.

Guys, quick change of plans.

We are gonna stay the night.

Kate and Abby, go inside,

see if they have some

rooms to help us.

Hurry up, hurry up!

Move your asses!

Serious complication.

Hi.

Your eye's just

a little puffed out, OK?

You're gonna be all right.

I'm gonna take care of you.

Page ophthalmology stat, please.

Yes, doctor.

Do you have any rooms

available for tonight?

Let's see.

Dude, check out

the name on the envelope.

So?

Don't you remember

from biology class last year,

- the butterflies?

- No.

They both look the same,

but only one is dangerous,

so since the predators

can't tell which one is which,

they just leave both alone.

It's like a defense mechanism.

Well, doubt these

are their real names.

A lot of, working girls

use this motel to turn tricks.

Trust me, they're

not butterflies.

They're hookers.

Yeah.

And it looks like we

have four rooms available.

Great. We'll go

tell our teacher.

Aw, yay!

Do you like

wholesome family fun?

Then come on down to Skateland.

We've got drinks,

we've got food,

we've got skates in all sizes.

It's party time at Skateland,

so come on inside.

Skateland!

No, not in the face!

I have a bar mitzvah tonight.

Ari, I promise

I'll pay you back.

I'm taking a magic class.

I can charge $50 more

with magic in my act!

Aah!

OK, enough.

Give me one reason

I shouldn't kill you

right now.

One.

Um, let's see.

Ooh.

That's a tough one. I...

Yo, Ari!

Cut him loose.

You better have

my money next time, OK?

- Yeah.

- Because if you don't,

your magic won't save you.

Thank you.

Thank you, Ari!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I would have killed him.

You know, clowns are

like boomerangs...

they always come back.

Yeah, man.

Clowns creep me out, Mr. "Airy."

It's "Ar-ee."

My name is Ari.

Where did you get this guy?

We did time together.

You cast wide net?

Go, go!

Wheels, thanks for coming.

I wasn't sure that

you would show.

t's been a long time.

Close the place down?

Yes. This thing bled me dry.

I just wish I hadn't

paid for three years'

commercials up front.

Not fiscally responsible.

Sorry, man.

I tried everything, Wheels.

I even put in fog machine

for party times!

Party times?

Yeah, but I'm cutting

my losses, moving on.

I've got big score I find

that's happening tonight,

and I need driver I can trust.

That's what you

called me here for?

Yes. What you think,

I want to catch up?

I'm not a driver

anymore, remember?

Besides, I don't want to

watch my daughter grow up

from a jail cell.

I don't care

about your stupid baby.

I'm not your errand

boy anymore, Ari.

Good luck with your rink.

I imagine not a lot

of legit work for ex-con.

Hundred large would go

long way for little Sofia.

OK. I have

the keys for our rooms.

Stay back!

Stay back,

you animals, stay back!

Everybody's gonna sh*t.

Just wait. Nobody's leaving

their room tonight,

and there are no exceptions.

I don't care if there's a fire,

I don't care if there's

an earthquake,

I don't care if aliens come

down to invade us,

I don't care if there's a ghost

in the hallway screaming,

"Help me, help me,"

and then he gets in

and he kills you

and you become a ghost.

You as a ghost will not

be leaving the rooms.

Jessie, you're

with your brother.

- We're switching rooms.

- Chad, you're with Jesse.

You two are together,

and, Bear, you're with me.

Hey. We'll get

through this together.

No.

You ever here of, Van Gogh?

Yeah, of course. The,

Dutch post impressionist.

I have line on one

of his missing paintings.

I think it's called Boy,

Pissing on Sunflowers

or something.

Pretty sure that's not it.

I don't know.

I'm not homosexual.

Anyway, I know where it is,

and I have buyer

willing to pay two million

for it cash tonight.

It's just sitting

in some old safe

in some real estate company's

liquidation facility,

which is why I'm going

to swap it out

with replica tonight.

OK. Are you sure these two

are the stealthy team

- you want on this job?

- You nuts?

I hire couple of pros on this,

the same ones who do

the museum heist

in Amsterdam broad daylight,

dressed as tourists, you know?

I think I read about them.

Anyway, Ari reaches out,

they say yes.

All you got to do is pick

them up, make a few stops,

wait for them while

they do the job,

and make sure you get back here

before my buyer gets here.

You get hundred large,

I get to start new life

in Brazil!

Why Brazil?

Very loose banking regulations

and fastest growing

recreational activity...

roller skating.

I'm going to take the money and

build new rink,

my dream rink, perfect.

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